TEXAS HOSPITALITY 07/28/2009
Lyndsey Valentine vs Tiffany Macintyre
Style Clash vs Trent Daniels & Dez Carter
Ravager & Hostile vs Jer$ey & Steve Parker
O’Connor Boys vs Total Destruction Alliance
“The Ego Buster” Dan Ryan vs Lloyd Rees
The Polish Hall, Edmonton AB. The sights and sounds of wrestling fans amped for a night of tremendous action. The concession is doing brisk sales of beer, popcorn, soder pop and of course… hotama dog. Fans swarm the merch table to look for the newest t-shirts of their favorite stars. Dan Ryan merchandise is going like hotcakes. The fans know this is his last match in an NAPW ring, perhaps the last time he ever wrestlers in Alberta -period.-.
Finally, Frank Warburton enters center ring to a cheer!
FRANK WARBURTON: Edmonton! Are you ready for a little TEXAS HOSPITALITY tonight?
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
FRANK WARBURTON: Our first match will begin in just two minutes! Get ready for some WRRRRRRRRRRESTLING!
BILL HEWSON: I’m Bill Hewson alongside Jack “Don’t Make My Mother Break My Legs” Jones, and this is New Alberta Pro Wrestling from the Polish Hall in Edmonton, Alberta. What a show we have for you tonight!
JACK JONES: I’ll have you know I paid off my mother just slightly late. She only broke my big toe.
BILL HEWSON: Three title matches for you tonight, including the much-anticipated contest between “THE EGO BUSTER” DAN RYAN and “THE MESSIAH” LLOYD REES, World Title on the line. And the referee for that contest will be the final member of “III” — Bruce “The Beast” Richards! Tag titles on the line! Women’s title! A tornado tag! These fans are ready for some action, so let’s not delay any longer. Take it away, Frank!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match it set for one fall, and is for the NAPW Women’s Championship!
“I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY BAD REPUTATION!”
FRANK WARBURTON: Making her way to the ring, from Water Valley Kentucky… the reigning Women’s Champion… LYNDSEY VALENTINE!
Valentine hits the ring, at 5’11″ eye to eye to with Frank. The fans give her a modest response.
BILL HEWSON: The biggest woman to ever compete for the NAPW Women’s Championship, but don’t call her “biggest” to her face. Lyndsey Valentine is double-tough – just like you’d expect any girlfriend of Matthew Kurtis to be!
JACK JONES: I make it a policy not to date girls who can beat me up. Gulp!
And now…
LET’S GET FUNKADELIC!
No doubt the huge pop is good to her earhole! FUNKY PLATFORM BOOTS!
BLUE SKIRT!
SASSYFRASS!
FRANK WARBURTON: And now, the challenger! From RIGHT HERE in Edmonton, Alberta, she is “WHITE CHOCOLATE” — TIFFANY MACINTYRE!
BILL HEWSON: Taking nothing away from the champion, but Tiffany Macintyre is clearly the hometown favorite tonight. The first Woman’s champion trying to become the first two-time champion… but she’ll have to get through the Bluegrass Bombshell to do it!
JACK JONES: That’s not a bet I’m willing to take. Valentine is going to snap White Chocolate in pieces like a DELICIOUS Hershey Bar!
Referee Anthony URUBURUUUUUU presents the title belt to the challenger and the crowd. DING DING DING! Tie-up and Valentine easily powers Tiffany into the corner. Irish whip, Lyndsey charges, but Tiffany gets a boot up! A big 70s platform boot! Lyndsey stumbles backwards, holding her jaw, and Tiffany leaps off the 2nd turnbuckle catching her taller opponent with a swinging DDT! Off the ropes come Tiffany delivering a senton splash to her prone opponent! One, two, Valentine SHOVES Tiffany off. Tiffany with a kick to the gut, looking for Sliced Bread #2 … NO! Valentine doesn’t go anywhere, instead throwing White Chocolate ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR! The crowd winces as Tiffany bounces hard on the thin protective mats, then goes limp. URUBURUUUU begins the count, but Valentine makes her way outside and easily woman-handles MacIntyre up. RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP ON THE FLOOR! Damn! Tiffany in a world of hurt as the champion rolls her back into the ring.
Valentine wisely going for a cover, one, two, Tiffany pops her right shoulder up to get out. Valentine grabs a handful of hair and begins straight-up PUNCHING Tiffany in the face.
BILL HEWSON: I hope you didn’t think the ladies were going to be delicate and soft, folks. Not here in NAPW! Lyndsey Valentine getting a warning from the referee for those closed fists. Needs to be careful of a potential disqualification there.
JACK JONES: I think Valentine just wanted to add a few new colors to that pretty face of White Chocolate — black and blue!
Valentine hooks Tiffany and delivers a big vertical suplex, holding Tiffany upside down in the air before dropping her onto the canvas. Another cover, Tiffany kicks out. Valentine whips her to the ropes and nails a Bluegrass Mafia kick! One, two, TH— another kick-out! Tiffany not moving all that fast, and Valentine sees an opportunity to go AIRBORNE.
JACK JONES: Somebody alert Air Traffic Control!
BILL HEWSON: If the champion can nail this flying clothesline, that should be all! Tiffany slowly to her feet… Here comes Valentine off the top — DROPKICK! White Chocolate caught Valentine in mid-air!
JACK JONES: That might have been all White Chocolate had left, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: You are correct, Jack Attack — both women are down on the canvas. And this is how the last Women’s Title match ended, with a double count-out!
URUBURUUUUU begins his count… but the fans aren’t going to be cheated out of a decision THIS time. Neither woman is going to settle for a draw! Valentine is up first and grabs Tiffany — who shoves the champion away and delivers a high kick, catching the champion in the side of the head. Valentine swings with a big right hand, Tiffany ducks, another KAWADA kick! Valentine is staggered, Tiffany with an irish whip. Countered in center ring — but Tiffany handsprings into the ropes and flies back with an elbow right to the face! MacIntyre cinches her opponent up and delivers a SICK looking corkscrew neckbreaker! Hooks the leg! ONE! TWO!
KICK-OUT!
Tiffany groans, but goes right back to work. She sets up for Sliced Bread #2 once again… Valentine shoves her off! Wait a minute! Valentine hoists Tiffany up, setting up for the BLOODY VALENTINE — Tiffany kicks free! Both ladies slightly off balance, Valentine turns around — into a reverse thrust kick by White Chocolate right in the breadbasket! The wind goes out of Valentine and Tiffany looks for Sliced Bread #2 ONE MORE TIME…
CONNECTS!
ONE!
TWO!
TH—KICK-OUT!
SOMEHOW VALENTINE KICKED OUT!
SO TIFFANY HITS THE ROPES!
Lyndsey Valentine staggers to one knee, and locks up in time to see?
A PLATFORM SHOE TO THE FACE!
SEVENTIES BIG BOOT CONNECTS LIKE ELECTRIC BOOGALOO! COVER
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner… and NEWWWWWW NAPW WOMEN’S CHAMPION! “WHITE CHOCOLATE~” TIFFANY MACINTYRRRRRRRRRE!
BILL HEWSON: “WHITE CHOCOLATE” has done it! The Sweet Treat That Can’t Be Beat is once again the Women’s Champion! And this crowd wouldn’t have it any other way!
JACK JONES: Who doesn’t like WHITE CHOCOLATE?!
BILL HEWSON: She was the first, and is no doubt the best! Once again your champion… Tiffany MacIntyre! WHITE CHOCOLATE!
Tiffany takes the title belt… she shakes Lyndsey Valentine’s hand, and then exits the ring to climb into the crowd to celebrate with THE PEOPLES! IT’S A FUNKADELIC PARTY HERE AT THE POLISH HALL! OUTTA SIGHT!
JACK JONES: … So I told the doctor what he could do with his “free” tetanus shot!
BILL HEWSON: You sure that was a good idea? I mean, after that many raccoon bites? Especially in … that area?
JACK JONES: Downtown? Why would getting a raccoon bite there be any worse than in the forest?
BILL HEWSON: That wasn’t the area I was talking about. …
JACK JONES: Oh, you mean on my-
BILL HEWSON: For the love of God why can’t somebody’s theme music be playing?!
Your wish is my command Bill. “Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast” starts playing, bringing the NAPW’s newest team to ringside. The fans still hate them, though…
FRANK WARBURTON: The following is a tag match, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a total combined weight of four hundred and fifty nine pounds, the team of Trent Daniels and Dez Carter!
Dez looking focused tonight, more so than usual. Daniels… doesn’t look himself…
BILL HEWSON: That hoodie that Trent Daniels is wearing. That looks familiar.
JACK JONES: It’s not like we don’t see a lot of guys in hoodies at a wrestling show. The front row has about four of them.
BILL HEWSON: But sleeveless? And is that a phoenix on the back?
Daniels is acting cocky while Carter does some last minute stretches. Drowning Pool takes over the speakers, signaling the first of their opponents…
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents! Introducing first, from Boulder, Colorado, weighing in at two hundred and sixty six pounds… TABOO!!
Taboo emerges through the curtains to a nice ovation. He stops as he reaches ringside as he waits for his partner…
“THEY SAY I’M COCKY, AND I SAY WHAT?
IT AIN’T BRAGGIN’ MOTHER(BLEEP)ER IF YOU BACK IT UP!”
FRANK WARBURTON: And his partner…
Warburton trails off as Chad Kurtis does not emerge through the curtains. Some murmurs among the fans as the music stops.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his partner…
They start the music again, and again, no Chad Kurtis. Taboo looks to the back to see any sign of his partner, but Dez and Trent decide not to wait, and they attack! Referee John Sharplin yells at them to wait, but Taboo is tossed into the ring, and Dez slides in after, and it looks like we’re having a handicap match!
Taboo whipped to the ropes by Carter, and he bounces back into a STIFF roundhouse kick! Taboo knocked to the mat, and Carter goes for a Stretch Plumb, but Taboo manages to wriggle out of that. Carter grabs Taboo by the hair and lands a hard palm strike, busting open the lip of his opponent. Carter whips him into the corner, where Trent Daniels is tagged in. Daniels hits the ropes as Carter shoves Taboo towards the center of the ring… Discus Elbow smash! Taboo is down, and Daniels covers! ONE… TWO… Taboo kicks out! Daniels hauls Taboo up, and goes for a snap kick to the head… Taboo catches the leg, and now he has Daniels trapped in a T-Bone suplex! The fans cheer as Daniels is nearly dropped on his head! Taboo covers! One… two… Daniels kicks out! Taboo tries to keep the momentum, going behind and wrapping his arms around Daniels’ waist… Dead Weight German Suplex! Taboo with another cover! One… two… Daniels gets a shoulder up! Taboo starts to drag Daniels up… Carter is in, and he catches Taboo flush with a kick to the side of the head! Taboo staggers, and now Daniels is able to hit the Wake up Call! Taboo driven to the mat, but Daniels is still groggy, so he tags in Carter, who locks on an inverted cravate crossface.
BILL HEWSON: Taboo in a bad spot here. It doesn’t seem to matter how much offense he gets in, his momentum will be cut off by his other opponent.
JACK JONES: This is where having a tag partner would help.
BILL HEWSON: Where is Chad Kurtis?
Taboo is probably wondering that as he tries to pull himself to the ropes. Carter has the hold cinched in tight, and Taboo is not going to break it after all the abuse he has taken so far. Taboo inches away from reaching the bottom rope. Sharplin is there to call for either a break or the submission. The fans cheer Taboo on… He is almost there… Daniels is in, and he kicks Taboo’s hands away from the ropes! Sharplin tries to get him out of the ring, leaving Carter free to nail Taboo with Kawada kicks! The fans groan as Carter connects again and again against Taboo’s temple! Finally he stops, and Taboo is dropped, limp on the mat. Carter rolls him over for a cover! ONE! TWO! Taboo gets a shoulder up! Carter looks surprised, but he wastes no time, hauling Taboo up, and now he hoists him on to his shoulder! He wants Taboo to Go 2 Sleep! … Taboo slips out of it, and slips behind… Half nelson suplex! Carter folded in half! Taboo drapes an arm over Carter’s chest for a cover! One… two… Carter gets a shoulder up! Taboo tries to get to his feet, but Daniels cuts him down with a basement dropkick! Carter pulls himself up with the ropes as Daniels hauls Taboo up. He whips him into a Carter superkick… Taboo ducks, rebounds off the ropes and takes Carter down with the Taboo Press! He lays in with headbutts as Daniels pulls him off his partner… Taboo with a Bearhug Exploder on Daniels, sends him halfway across the ring! Taboo making a valiant comeback but he needs to tag out…
BILL HEWSON: He’s here!
The fans explode as Chad Kurtis bursts through the curtains! He looks like he’s been beaten up, but “The Show” is angry, and ready to help his partner! He makes it to the ring, where Taboo is all too happy to make the tag! Another pop as Kurtis is in the ring, and he catches a charging Daniels with a Frankensteiner! Carter is back up, and he goes after Chad… Kurtis lays in with punches! Carter tries to fire back, swinging… Kurtis ducks, and catches Carter with a backdrop driver! Daniels back to his feet, eats a superkick from Kurtis!
JACK JONES: Why all this rage from Chad Kurtis?
BILL HEWSON: Well. Trent Daniels is wearing what looks to be one of Chad Kurtis’ hoodies. Chad Kurtis looks to have been beaten up backstage, conveniently making him miss the start of the tag match. I think there is enough evidence that we can infer who attacked Chad.
JACK JONES: Maybe under your petty legal system…
Kurtis hits a standing shooting star press on Carter, and goes for a cover! One… two… Daniels breaks it up! And he hits the Ottawa Trios on Kurtis, trying to end the momentum of “The Show”! Kurtis limping after the attack on his leg, and Daniels tries to capitalize, going for a single leg takedown… Kurtis avoids it, hitting an enziguri on Daniels! But Kurtis is hurting after that attack, so he tags in Taboo, who hauls Daniels up and NAILS a Vertical Drop Exploder! He covers, but Carter is the legal man, and he nails an unsuspecting Taboo with a Yakuza kick! He covers! One… two… Kurtis breaks up the pin! Sharplin escorts Kurtis out of the ring, meanwhile Carter and Daniels drag Taboo to their corner. Carter tags Daniels into the match, and now Daniels sits on the top turnbuckle, grabs Taboo’s head… System Crash! Taboo is bleeding even more from the mouth now, and Daniels covers! One… two… Kurtis tries to break it up, but Carter cuts him off! … Thre-
Taboo gets a foot on the bottom rope!
Daniels is furious as he argues with Sharplin! Carter and Kurtis tumble through the ropes to the floor, where they brawl at ringside. Daniels drags Taboo up… Taboo with a fist to the gut, and now he goes for a capture suplex… Daniels with elbows to the side of the head, he scores a boot to the gut, and now he straightjackets Taboo’s arms…
MESSIAH COMPLEX! Daniels hooks the leg as Sharplin covers! ONE!! TWO!! THREE!!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners… TRENT DANIELS AND DEZ CARTER!!
The fans are not happy with this. Kurtis crawls into the ring to check on his partner as Dez and Trent raise their arms in victory as they back up the aisle.
BILL HEWSON: We have new number one contenders to the NAPW tag team titles. But Style Clash fought against huge odds…
JACK JONES: Excuses, excuses.
Indeed. Kurtis and Taboo don’t look proud for fighting a good fight.
They look like they’re going to want revenge. But it’ll have to wait, because Daniels and Carter have a new challenge in front of them.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following match is set for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit; it will be contested under tornado rules…
“5 Minutes Alone” by Pantera hits the speakers as from the back walks Hostile.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Jersey City New Jersey, he stands at six feet two inches and weighs in at two hundred and thirty pounds… HOSTILE!
“Path” by Apocalyptica hits the speakers as from the back comes the former Heritage title holder, Ravager.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Brooklyn New York, he stands at five feet ten inches and weighs in at two hundred and ten pounds… RAVAGER!
BILL HEWSON: Can these two men get along, long enough to obtain victory?
JACK JONES: Highly doubtful, Ravager is unstable and should be caged.
BILL HEWSON: How will the team of American DyNasty work together?
“Go Hard” by Dj Khaled, Kayne West & T-Pai hits the speakers as from the back comes Jer$ey to a chorus of boos.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Paterson New Jersey, he stands at six feet four inches and weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds… YOUNG MONEY… JER$EY!
Jer$ey steps to the side and awaits his tag team partner as he stares at Ravager with hatred burning in his eyes.
“Dirty Hands, Empty Pockets (Already Gone)” by Corrosion of Conformity hits the speakers as Steve Parker comes from the back to stare into the ring, he makes no move forward until he stands beside Jer$ey.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Boston Massachusetts, he stands at five feet ten inches and weighs in at two hundred and nineteen pounds he is your Canadian Heritage champion… “THE STAR SPANGLED SENSATION” STEVE PARKER!
Jer$ey pulls out a flag that is white with “Canada Sucks” written in black; both men begin to wave their flags with pride, much to the hatred of the crowd.
DING DING DING!
BILL HEWSON: Here we go! This match is under Tornado rules, no tags necessary, all four men legal at one time! And with the bad blood involved… this arena may look like Jack Attack’s trailer on a weekday!
JACK JONES: I’ll have you know I dustbust those empty pizza boxes once a month!
Ravager leaps at Jer$ey as Hostile throws a meaty fist into Steve Parker’s face. Ravager and Jer$ey are immediately on the outside of the ring, both men throwing fists with utter abandon; their rivalry coming to a boiling point. Parker backs up from Hostile,springing up with a forearm shot that sends Hostile backwards. Parker drops to his front sweeping the legs of Hostile out from under him. Morgan Smythe is watching the action inside the ring, for that is the only place a pinfall can take place. Outside the ring, Jer$ey whips Ravager into the railing, following with a clothesline; he whips him back towards the ring, Parker with a baseball slide into Ravager’s face and the team of Jer$ey and Steve Parker are working well together. Parker back up Hostile with a boot to the midsection, front facelock and Hostile lifts with a stalling vertical suplex. Parker twists in mid-air, but is still dropped only to land on his front. Hostile up quickly to lock the stunned Parker in an ankle lock. Jer$ey comes in with a running forearm, but Ravager lifts a boot into his charging face, Jer$ey stumbles back. Ravager dives with a shoulder block sending Jer$ey into the railing this time. Ravager with a lifted knee into the stunned Jer$ey’s face. Ravager lifts him up, piledriver onto the floor. Ravager quickly picks him up again, tossing him head first into the r ing post, but Jer$ey blocks, Ravager’s head into the post, Jer$ey with a spinning right hand sends Ravager back. Jer$ey climbs into the ring, forearm smash to the back of Hostile’s skull breaks the ankle lock. Parker was fixing to tap when the relief came.
BILL HEWSON: It looked there like Parker was fixing to submit.
JACK JONES: No way, Parker was just getting the hopes of Hostile up. That’s the American way — give your opponents some hope, then CRUSH THEIR DREAMS!
Parker crawls to the ropes to use them to assist himself up. He turns to watch Jer$ey and Hostile, when Ravager trips him from the outside. Parker falls on his front, Ravager slams the injured ankle into the edge of the ring apron, softening it up for later, if he can’t stand, he can’t fight. Ravager slams it into the ring post and drops an elbow on it for good measure. Jer$ey and Hostile are in a corner where Jer$ey is throwing chops at his chest in humiliation. Hostile spins around slamming Jer$ey back first into the corner, right fist; he isn’t playing around with chops. Hostile places a forearm on Jer$ey’s throat in a blatant choke and referee Morgan Smythe is there to tell Hostile that just because this match is tornado rules, there are still rules. Hostile stops the choke as he ducks out of the way, Ravager with a big splash into the corner squashing Jer$ey. Hostile points up as he lifts Jer$ey up onto the turnbuckle, Ravager climbs the opposite turnbuckle. Top rope superplex, as Ravager dives with a diving headbutt and Jer$ey is in a world of hurt now. Hostile goes after Parker as Ravager makes a cover. Parker pulls Hostile on through the ropes to get him out of the way as he drops a leg across Ravager’s neck to stop the count at two, saving his team. Ravager up forearm to Parker, who kicks out with a front kick catching Ravager in the chest. Ravager falls back, but the kick cost Parker as he falls back into the corner holding at his ankle. Ravager smiles at Parker and merely shakes his head. Ravager runs, jumping over Jer$ey, and leaps into the air, but goes no where as Jer$ey catches his foot at the leaping second. Ravager falls head first onto Parker’s upturned knee.
JACK JONES: American DyNasty working well together, extremely well.
BILL HEWSON: Are they your favorite to win?
JACK JONES: Why not, they are clearly the best team. The two hottest young stars in NAPW today aligned together!
Jer$ey rolls Ravager up for a pin, Hostile pulls the injured ankle of Parker, then stops the pin of Jer$ey by pulling him off at the count of two. Jer$ey gets up to meet Hostile. Jer$ey with a back handed slap, Hostile with a big right hand, Parker with a rope assisted kick to Hostile’s unprotected ribs sends him into the corner. Jer$ey with a kick to Hostile’s left ribs, Parker with a kick to Hostile’s right ribs. They set him on the top turnbuckle and both go up top for a double superplex. Ravager pulls Parker back down, shakes his head, and levels him with a right hand. He turns to Jer$ey who jumped down, levels him with a right. Parker dives at Ravager, but Ravager counters into an even flow DDT. Ravager is up quickly to face Jer$ey, who lunges at his feuding partner. Hostile with an axe handle blow sends Jer$ey to the mat, Hostile and Ravager nod to each other. Hostile picks Jer$ey up as Ravager takes Parker. Hostile with a right hand to Jer$ey, Ravager with a right to Parker. Forearm to Jer$ey, elbow to Parker and they each have a man in an opposite corner. They look to each other, double Irish whip. Parker leap frogs over Jer$ey with a dropkick to Hostile. Jer$ey ducks under the leap frog with a spear to Ravager. Hostile is forced backwards into the turnbuckles as Ravager is forced down to the canvas. Parker is up, looking to Jer$ey who places Ravager into the corner. Referee Morgan Smythe is trying to regain some control, but it is pointless in a tornado tag team match. Parker with a knife edge chop, Jer$ey with one of his own to Ravager. Both men climb up at the same time and begin pounding away at their individual opponents. They reach ten and climb back down…
BILL HEWSON: A little show-boating from the American DyNasty, which this crowd is NOT appreciative of. But Jer$ey and Parker are in control of the contest!
JACK JONES: You expected something different?
Parker charges at Ravager, Jer$ey at Hostile. Snap DDT sends Parker down to the mat, Hostile catches the leaping Jer$ey in a bear hug, dropping him down into an inverted atomic drop, following with a reverse bulldog. Ravager and Hostile are standing tall in this match. Ravager points over to Jer$ey and nods as he points to his own chest. Hostile shrugs allowing Ravager to take Jer$ey as he picks up Parker. Hostile with a full nelson slam on Parker sends him down to the mat as Ravager tosses Jer$ey outside to do some heavy damage. Parker is hurting now…
And Hostile locks on the DEMON’S DREAM! He could make the Heritage Champion tap out right here!
On the outside, Ravager shoves Jer$ey into the railing! Ravager with a lifted knee into the down-turned face of Jer$ey; big forearm shot to Jer$ey’s back. Ravager with a European uppercut that stands Jer$ey back up against the railing. Ravager with a haymaker, but Jer$ey with a thumb to Ravager’s eyes. Ravager turns from the thumb. Parker is crawling for the ropes, but he has only moved about six inches, he doesn’t appear to be going to make it. Jer$ey springs to the railing, balances there, leaps with a bulldog sending Ravager down to the floor. He slides into the ring to help his tag team partner. Parker raises the free hand to tap…
But before he actually DOES — *WHAM*
Jer$ey falls down to the mat and Referee Morgan Smythe calls for the bell. Ravager stands over Jer$ey with the Heritage title belt. Hostile gets up and is furious with Ravager.
BILL HEWSON: Hostile and Ravager nearly had this match won, but Ravager just smashed Jer$ey with the Heritage title belt in plain sight of Morgan Smythe!
JACK JONES: What’s Ravager playing at? He just cost Hostile a win over the Heritage champion!
FRANK WARBURTON: Winners of the match as a result of a disqualification, the team of Steve Parker and Jer$ey…. American DyNasty!
Hostile is in Ravager’s face yelling, Steve Parker with a Heritage title shot to the back of Hostile’s skull sends him down to the mat. Ravager looks up, Parker dives again, but Ravager with a drop toe hold sends Parker’s face into the back of the Heritage Title belt. Jer$ey, Parker, and Hostile are all lying on the mat as Ravager stands tall. He looks around him at the carnage before exiting the ring to walk to the back.
Some Gregorian chants cue up. Two robed figures emerge from the curtains. The fans figure they are the O’Connor Boys so they boo but those boos turn into cheers when OZZY cues up and the hoods are pulled back!
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing the challengers…
“All my life I’ve been over the top
I don’t know what I’m doing all I know is I don’t wanna stop
All fired up, I’m gonna go ’til I drop
You’re either in or in the way, don’t make me I don’t wanna stop”
The crowd cheers as DEMO-MAN and MACCULLOCH enter the arena, leaving their robes on the aisleway.
FRANK WARBURTON: … at a total combined weight of five-hundred and one pounds… first, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, MACCULLOCH! From Detroit, Michigan, DEMOLITION-MAN! Together they are… the TOTAL DESTRUCTION ALLIANCE!
BILL HEWSON: Here comes the hottest new team in NAPW!
JACK JONES: Demo-Man used to carve out his own path. He was a leader. Now he’s nothing but a sellout and Mac-lackey!
The Dropkick Murphys cue up and the boos rain down! The O’Connor Boys, their belts draped over their shoulders, walk down to the ring, eyes focused on their opponents, ignoring the fans.
FRANK WARBURTON: And now! At a total combined weight of three-hundred pounds, they are the reigning NAPW Tag Team Champions… SEAN & SEAMUS, THE O’CONNOR BOYS!
BILL HEWSON: Both teams look as if they have prepared for the fight of their lives!
JACK JONES: It is wholly unfair that the three-hundred-pounds-combined O’Connors have to defend their titles against such big opponents. What a handicap!
BILL HEWSON: EVERY team is bigger than them!
JACK JONES: Then they shouldn’t have to defend them EVER! Injustice anywhere threatens justice everywhere, you fascist!
DING DING DING
Mac is going to start things off for T.D.A. Looks like Seamus will start things off for the O’Connors. Mac approaches him. Tag out to Sean. Sean steps in. Tag to Seamus. Mac throws up his arms in confusion as Seamus tags in Sean. He goes for a double clothesline, the O’Connors duck! Dual punches to Mac! Again! They whip him off of the ropes. Double dropkicks! Kiebiech yelling at Seamus, giving him the five-count, telling him to get out of the ring. Mac quickly stands… double clothesline to the champs! And he throws Sean out of the ring! Now it is him and Seamus. He applies a side headlock to a rising Seamus. He walks over to Demo-Man. Demo-Man with a fist to Seamus! Tag. But first the T.D.A. with a double suplex! Demo-Man with a cover. One! Two! Th–kickout! Demo-Man with a sleeper but Sean is in the ring, arguing that he is in fact the legal man. Kiebiech agrees and orders Demo-Man to release the hold. Demo-Man releases the hold. He stands up, boot to the back of Seamus’ head!
BILL HEWSON: Very physical in the opening minutes!
JACK JONES: I predict the O’Connors will win cleanly within the next forty-five seconds. If I still gambled, I’d bet my house on it.
Sean locks up with Demo-Man, pushes him into the corner. But Demo-Man switches places with him! Punch! Punch! Demo-Man whips Sean across the ring. Sean reverses! Demo-Man into the corner. Sean runs in. He runs up Demo-Man’s body and flips backwards. Dropkick to the groin of Demo-Man!
JACK JONES: What a maneuver!
BILL HEWSON: Can’t argue with you there.
JACK JONES: I told you they were the best!
Kiebiech arguing with Sean, telling him to watch the low-blows. Sean ignores him. Off of the ropes… running bulldog to Demo-Man! Tag! Seamus goes up top. Second-rope elbow drop to the back of Demo-Man’s head! Turns him over, cover! One! Two! Kickout! Seamus with some boots to the fallen Demo-Man. Picks him up, Irish whip. He goes for a back body drop! But he can’t lift Demo-Man with his head! Demo-Man reverses into a power bomb! No! Seamus rolls down his back and catches his head! Neckbreaker! Now Seamus is going up top. 450 Splash! NO! Demo-Man moves out of the way. Tag to Mac! Mac runs in. Big scoop and big slam! Off of the ropes. Big kneelift to Seamus! One! Two! Sean in the ring and drops an elbow! Kiebiech giving him the five count. He drags his brother towards the corner. Sean makes the tag himself! But he runs right into a Mac clothesline! Mac grabs Seamus’ head. Demo-Man puts his boot on the turnbuckle. He runs Seamus’ head into it! Sean up and exchanging punches with Mac! Sean jumps up with a big headbutt! Again! Sean whips Mac across the ring. Springboard back elbow takes Mac down! Mac gets to his feet. Sean off of the ropes… Spinning roundhouse heel kick! NO! Mac catches him! Back suplex! He tags Demo-Man. Then he whips Sean into the corner… Demo-Man runs in with a splash! Demo-Man with a cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THR–NO!
Demo-Man off of the ropes… big Leg Drop! Seamus runs into the ring. Attacking Demo-Man! Five count! Mac into the ring! He goes after Seamus. They exchange blows mid-ring as Dick Kiebiech tells them to get out. They finally relent and go to their corners! Sean sneaks up on Demo-Man. Low blow while Kiebiech is enforcing the rules! He rolls up Demo!
ONE!
TWO!
THR–NO!
Sean with a sleeperhold on Demo-Man who quickly gets to his feet. Elbow to the gut! Another! Demo-Man off of the ropes. Sean with a drop toe hold! Sean climbing up top! Cross body block! Reversed into a Power Slam! Cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THR–Broken up by Seamus! Seamus picks up Demo-Man. Demo-Man with a kick to the gut! Power Bomb! To the outside!
Demo-Man tags in Mac. The T.D.A. whip Sean… Double Facebuster! Cover by Mac!
ONE!
TWO!
THR–KICKOUT!
BILL HEWSON: They might be bastards, but they are a relentless duo, those O’Connors!
JACK JONES: They are half the size of their opponents and dominating them… they are an inspiration to small people all over the world!
Mac whips Sean into the opposite corner. Sean staggers towards the center… clothesline drops him! Gets to his feet… belly-to-back from Mac! And now he is applying a Figure-Four Leglock! Sean is flailing his arms, trying to get to the ropes, but Mac has him well-positioned. Here comes Demo-Man! Off of the ropes! Leg Drop on Sean! Kiebiech yells at him to leave the ring. Mac stands up with Sean’s leg, drops an elbow on the knee! Kneelock! Seamus is up on the outside. He walks over to Demo-Man. Trips his legs out and Demo-Man’s head NAILS the corner of the apron! And he climbs up top! IRISH INSIGNIA onto Mac! Kiebiech yells at him, telling him he isn’t the legal man. He relents and goes to his corner. Seamus tells Sean to cover Mac but he is having trouble getting to him because of his knee. Finally he drapes an arm!
ONE!
TWO!
THR–KICKOUT! HE WAS TOO LATE!
Sean gets to his feet, clearly favoring his knee. He limps over and tags Seamus! Seamus meets a rising Mac with a Sunset Flip!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE–KICKOUT!
BILL HEWSON: The tag division is incredibly hot right now! What competition we are seeing!
JACK JONES: If Dick Kiebiech wasn’t so clearly biased in favor of the T.D.A., the O’Connors would be backstage drinking their third Guinness by now.
Seamus quickly up, drops a few elbows on his opponent. Demo-Man climbs back up onto the apron. Seamus grabs Mac’s head. Now Demo-Man’s head! He goes to bash them together but Mac elbows his gut! Tag to Demo-Man. Both challengers with big forearm shots to the back of Seamus! Double DDT! Demo-Man knocks Sean off of the apron. Demo-Man waiting for Seamus to stand, perhaps sizing him up for the Demo-Demolisher! Seamus climbs to his feet slowly, using the ropes to pull himself up. He stumbles forward. Demo-Man charges in… Seamus moves out of the way and Demo spears the corner! Seamus with a Tornado DDT! Before he can make the cover, Mac is in the ring! Fists to Seamus as Kiebiech begins the five-count. Mac Irish whips Seamus. Drops the head… Seamus boots it! Seamus off of the ropes. Mac with an arm-drag takedown! And a dropkick to Seamus as he rises! Mac gets to the outside in the nick of time. Seamus and Demo-Man slowly get to their feet, Seamus up first. He takes Demo down with a hurricanrana! And he’s going up top! But Demo follows him up! They are exchanging blows on the turnbuckle! Demo with some vicious headbutts! Sidewalk Slam from the top rope! Cover!
BILL HEWSON: The ring SHOOK! That is IT!
JACK JONES: God dammit!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
NO! Sean breaks it up with a kick!
JACK JONES: Yes! Thank God! I almost lost $2,000 right then!
BILL HEWSON: I thought you were done gambling?
JACK JONES: …
He is dropping boots on Demo-Man. But Demo-Man battles to his feet. Side elbow to Sean. Another! Big knee to the gut! He gets Sean up for a Power Bomb! And he drops him! Low blow from Seamus! And Seamus BITES the forehead of Demo-Man! Kiebiech warns him, about to ring the bell for a disqualification but Seamus relents. But Demo-Man’s forehead is busted open! Mac enters the ring, looking VERY angry! Him and Seamus exchange punches. Knee to Seamus’ gut! Now Mac is going for a Power Bomb! He nails it! He goes to the corner and gets the legal tag from Demo-Man and re-enters the ring. Mac throws Seamus to the outside so it is just the two legal men in the ring. Sean is getting to his feet. Kick to the gut! Celtic Buri–NO! Sean reverses into an Irish whip right into Dick Kiebiech! Kiebiech is down! Mac goes for the Celtic Burial again but Seamus nails him with a steel chair across the back! He throws a second chair to Sean! They swing their chairs at Mac’s head! He ducks and their chairs hit each other! And here comes Demo-Man! TDA with simultaneous kicks to the O’Connors! They drop their chairs. Simultaneous Celtic Burials! Mac goes for a cover but Kiebiech is too out of it. Demo-Man tries to wake him up. He slowly stirs. But now so are Seamus and Sean! Mac and Demo-Man talk to each other. They pick up Sean. FA-Q! FA-Q! FA-Q! Mac with a cover! The crowd chants ONE, TWO, THREE, but the referee isn’t into it! Demo-Man hauls Kiebiech into position! The ref is groggy but counts…
ONE!
…
TWO!
…
THREE!
NO!
NO!
Sean kicks out!
BILL HEWSON: That should have been a three-count! We might need a second referee down here!
JACK JONES: If anything, that was a fast count and Sean STILL kicked out. Amazing!
Seamus gets to his feet and clotheslines Mac to the outside. They both tumble over the top-rope! Kiebiech gets to his feet. He discards the two chairs outside of the ring. Demo-Man with a big Scoop Slam on Sean. Meanwhile, Seamus with a spinning heel hick that sends Mac into the front row! Sean gets to his feet only to feel the brunt of a Running Lariat that sends him spinning 720 degrees! Sean is completely out of it, slowly getting to his feet as Demo-Man sizes him up for the Demo-Demolisher!
A masked man is on the ring apron. Kiebiech and Demo-Man turn to him, distracted. Meanwhile, Seamus pulls his brother out of the ring and replaces him! Demo-Man NAILS the masked man off the ring apron! He turns around —
DEMO-DEMOLISHER!
REVERSED INTO AN INSIDE CRADLE!
From the outside Sean holds Demo’s foot. Seamus with a handful of tights! Kiebiech doesn’t notice EITHER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Mac piles over the guardrail… too late.
FRANK WARBURTON: Your winners and STILL NAPW World Tag Team Champions… the O’CONNOR BOYS!
JACK JONES: I am $2,000 richer!
The O’Connors hold each other up as Kiebiech hands them their tag titles. They hold them high in the air to immense booing. Mac and Demo argue unsuccessfully with Kiebiech before shaking their heads, threatening the champions and leaving the ring. They complain to the timekeeper as the champs soak up the boos!
But the boos turn to cheers as… DONOVAN ASTROS runs down to the ring with BAT IN HAND! The O’Connors flee the ring as Astros enters it, swinging the bat around. They back down the aisle, smiling at retaining their belts and getting away from Astros. Astros smirks, folding his arms in front of his chest. The fans rain boos down upon the champs. The O’Connor Boys are in front of the curtain,…All of the sudden the boos turn to immense cheering. The curtains part behind the OCB…
…revealing JAKE PHOENIX!
BILL HEWSON: What is going on here?
Sean & Seamus suddenly get the sinking feeling that SOMEBODY is behind them. They turn around — Jake snarls. The O’Connor Boys run back down to the ring where Astros waits with his bat! They are playing pickle as Phoenix slowly walks down the aisle. They go around the side of the ring where Mac and Demo-Man are standing and walking towards them too. The fans eat it up as the O’Connors run in circles trying to figure out how to escape. Finally they hop over the guard rail and make their way through the crowd! Demo-Man and Mac decide to follow them through the crowd!
Leaving only Astros and Phoenix. Phoenix slowly gets in the ring. He and Astros never take their eyes off of each other, staring suspiciously. Phoenix walks to mid-ring where Astros stands with his bat. Astros plays with the bat in his hand then drops it. They eye each other up and down, cracking their knuckles, stretching their necks… then they extend hands!
HANDSHAKE!
BILL HEWSON: What does this mean?
JACK JONES: Well, if the Murder City Devils are reunited, then I quit. Those as–
BILL HEWSON: –you used to love them!
JACK JONES: Lies!
BILL HEWSON: In any event fans, we can’t be one-hundred percent sure, but it appears that Donovan Astros and Jake Phoenix are back on the same page! What does this mean for NAPW? There are many questions that need to be answered! The only thing we do know is that by hook or by crook, the O’Connor Boys retain the Tag Team Championship!
JACK JONES: And that’s how you can create an army of super-spiders to do your bidding with 27 ordinary household items.
BILL HEWSON: I’m sure that knowledge will come in handy at some point in my life. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the main event! World title on the line between two men who have spent the better part of a year fighting on the same side. The alliance known as “III” has completely dissolved, and it comes to a head tonight. Let’s go to Frank Warburton for the official introductions.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall at a sixty minute time limit… and is for the NAPW CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD! Introducing first, the special guest referee for the contest…
“NO ONE’S GONNA TAKE US ALIVE!
THE TIME HAS COME TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT!”
If you said “CROWD ASPLODE,” well, DUH. The Beast strides to ringside in a cut-off sleeve referee shirt and black jeans, cowboy hat on his head.
JACK JONES: What genius made THIS decision anyways? There’s no way The Beast will call this one down the middle. It’s a conspiracy against “The Messiah!”
BILL HEWSON: Bruce “The Beast” Richards of course went one-on-one with Lloyd Rees just last week in Calgary and came out on the losing end. If it was any other man, I would be concerned… but The Beast is exactly the man to referee such a heated contest with so much at stake. It’s not just the personal issue between Rees and Ryan — the World Title is on the line!
JACK JONES: Hel-LO! He sells t-shirts that say “NEVER TRUST THE BEAST!”
BILL HEWSON: Will you be serious?
The Beast is in the ring, exchanges a couple polite words with Warburton and passes his hat off to a ring boy. Finally, the lights dim…
Black Keys.
As the ominous, brooding blues pulses through the arena, a chorus of boos rings out. With a hood hiding his face, Rees steps through the curtains. His out-of-control beard gives him the look of a deranged prophet. He steps up the stairs, pausing to look out, then throws the hood back and looks up to the “heavens,” hands outstretched in a posture of supplication.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first! He stands at six-feet, one inch tall and weighs in at two-hundred and forty-seven pounds. He is the most decorated champion in NAPW history, one of only two Grand Slam winners, and the 2008 Sole Survivor winner! Ladies and gentlemen, from Wabana, Bell Island, Newfoundland… Tonight he challenges for his record FOURTH NAPW World Championship reign! THIS! IS! “THE MESSIAH” LLOYYYYYYYYYD REEEEEEEEEEES!
BILL HEWSON: We have known Lloyd Rees as “The Lemondrop Kid,” the crusading Newfoundlander. We’ve known him as “Da Technical Terror,” as the best pure wrestler in NAPW today. But this latest focus for Rees… I don’t know who he’s praying to, but it’s not the good Lord. Rees has finally driven the bicycle off the pier!
JACK JONES: What? You just said it yourself, he is the BEST pure wrestler in NAPW today. Not to mention yesterday and tomorrow. Rees is the WRESTLING Messiah, and you’re trying to make it something it’s not.
BILL HEWSON: Perhaps you haven’t been listening to the delusional drivel he and his acolytes the O’Connor Boys have been spouting over the past few weeks! Mental instability aside, there should be no doubt for a second that Lloyd Rees is anything less than DANGEROUS inside the squared circle. And the fact is…
JACK JONES: That he not only beat Dan Ryan cleanly last year FOR the very-same NAPW World Championship, but caused Ryan to tap out for what, maybe the fourth time in his entire CAREER to do it? I’d call that a BIG FACT!
Rees has taken his place in the ring. Bruce gives him a sideways glance. Rees seems to look… through The Beast, as if he doesn’t consider him worth his attention. Don’t be too sure about that…
“WANNA GO FOR A RIDE?”
Smashing Pumpkins blast from the PA and as “Zero” rocks the crowd, the NAPW Champion pushes his way through the curtains to a thundering ovation. “The Ego Buster” looks out, wearing the ten pounds of gold like a champion SHOULD, and smirks. He makes his way to the ring, never taking his eyes off, absently slapping an outstretched hand here or there, but Ryan is not in a mood to play “good guy.”
FRANK WARBURTON: AND NOW! Standing at six-foot seven inches and weighing three-hundred and thirty-five pounds… he is one of the legends in the wrestling industry and a world champion everywhere he has been! Here in NAPW, he is a two-time Tag Team Champion, the 2008 Canada Cup winner, and a TAGSTRAVAGANZA winner! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the REIGNING, and DEFENDING NAPW WORLD CHAMPION… THIS! IS! “THE EGO BUSTER” DANNNNNNNNN RYANNNNNNNNNN!
BILL HEWSON: Rees looks like he wants to jump the gun, but The Beast is keeping his not-unsubstantial-mass in between both men as Ryan enters!
JACK JONES: I don’t see Rees doing anything of the sort. Are you on drugs?
BILL HEWSON: He would if Richards wasn’t wise to him.
JACK JONES: That’s hearsay and this court won’t accept it!
BILL HEWSON: …just a few months ago, these three men won the WAR GAMES contest that effectively ended the faction wars which threatened to tear NAPW apart. As a result, each man won a guaranteed title shot at any time, at any title he wanted. Lloyd Rees used his to grant he and Ryan a TAG TEAM title shot. Dan Ryan used his his to challenge Jake Phoenix for the World Title just last week – a fact that Rees considers a “betrayal.” Earlier this week, Bruce Richards called his title shot, surprising us all by issuing a challenge for the Canadian Heritage title to complete the NAPW Triple Crown. It truly is the end of an era, Jack Jones. The final chapter of “III” will be written tonight!
Bruce takes the world title belt and displays it to Rees, then to the crowd. He gives it away and barks “ring the bell!”
DING DING DING!
Rees immediately charges Dan Ryan, looking for a takedown! The accomplished amateur wrestler looking to neutralize Ryan’s size advantage by taking him to the canvas where everybody’s the same size, and start working for a submission. But Ryan doesn’t go down, shifting to plant his weight. He brings his forearms down across Rees’ back with thudding impact. Rees stands up and Ryan swings a short clothesline, which is ducked. Rees with a european uppercut to “The Ego Buster,” snapping his head back…
Ryan rubs his jaw.
And grins.
POW! Rees goes down! He’s up, he’s DOWN again at a Dan Ryan right hand! Rees gets up once more, Ryan scoops him up effortlessly. The Champion shows Rees to all four sides of the building, then delivers a huge powerslam in the middle of the ring. Ryan makes a cover, one count only from The Beast, but Ryan isn’t too concerned.
JACK JONES: Look at the arrogant bastard! If ANYBODY needs their ego busted, it’s Dan Ryan!
BILL HEWSON: Rees rolls to the outside to take a breather, regroup… Ryan not expecting to get much out of Rees this early, but he’s making a point. He’s here to pin the challenger’s shoulders to the canvas, one two three. Dan Ryan, personal issues aside, is focused on that win!
JACK JONES: Why? He’s DONE after this match, this is the last one on his contract! He should just lay down for Rees and call it a career. He could take the NAPW Title and never come back!
BILL HEWSON: I don’t think Ryan is intending to do that should he retain here tonight, but certainly this IS his last match in the NAPW. And he doesn’t want to go out on a losing note!
Rees is still outside as Bruce gets his count up to five. Ryan motions for Rees to get back into the ring – he hardly expects Rees to get counted out and lose the title in such a fashion. Rees gets on the apron — Ryan makes a move. Rees ducks into the ropes and yells for Bruce to “do y’r dame job! Keep ‘im away!” Bruce tells Ryan to let his man get into the ring and out of the ropes. Ryan shrugs, content to listen… for now.
Rees in, Ryan hammers him. Into the ropes, Rees shot off at a run. Shoulderblock takes him down! Ryan looks down, hits the ropes himself. Rees flips on his belly, forcing Ryan to leap over him. Ryan up, Rees leapfrogs the charging Texas bull! Hip toss from Rees, Ryan blocks, hiiiiigh hip toss of his own! Rees rolls back outside, cursing in frustration as Ryan looks out over the crowd with a smirk.
Richards telling Rees to bring it back inside. Rees steps in, Ryan this time grabs him — Rees with a shoulderblock through the ropes. Bruce telling them to get out of the ropes, Rees flips over with a sunset flip attempt! He can’t get the big Ryan down though, and the champ reaches down with both hands to pick up Rees! Double-choke lift — Rees kicks Ryan right in the solar plexus. Ryan doubles over, and Rees quickly delivers a couple european uppercuts. Irish whip attempt — but Ryan won’t move. Rees tries again, Ryan goes nowhere. A third try, Ryan uses his power to reverse it — but Rees then ducks under the arms again and twists Ryan up with a sudden side Russian Leg Sweep, driving the big man into the canvas —
AND THEN THEN HE GOES FOR THE LANCE COVE LEGLOCK! Kick to the thigh, another, and Rees tries to twist Ryan’s legs into the cloverleaf… Ryan fighting with his powerful thighs, like tree trunks. He twists one way, then the other, then throws Rees off. And Rees cartwheels out? What the heck? Ryan sits up — Rees with a diving european uppercut right to the face!
JACK JONES: You deny his wrestling superiority now, Hewson? Rees knew he couldn’t put the Leglock on Ryan yet, he knew he couldn’t whip Dan Ryan, and both times he suckered Ryan into doing EXACTLY what he wanted and had a counter ready!
BILL HEWSON: I’ve said and will say again, nobody will question the wrestling acumen of Lloyd Rees! It’s his brainpower we’re unsure of… but at any rate, Rees in control right now, reverse chin lock applied, trying to wear the big man down.
Rees kicks the canvas, wrenching on the hold. Ryan grunts and forces his way up. Back to his feet, he throws a big elbow that rocks Rees off of him. Rees hits the ropes, charges in —
SPINEBUSTER
!
NO! REES WITH A DDT COUNTER!
ONE!
TWO!
Ryan kicks out. Rees gets up, drops a leg across Ryan’s face. Another cover, one, two, kick-out. Rees yells at Beast to count properly, then covers again, forearm across the chin. ONE, TWO, Ryan out. ONE, TWO, kick-out. ONE, TWO, kick-out, but Rees trying to wear down Ryan with repeated covers. Rees sits Ryan up… and kicks him hard in the spine. Just because he can. Ryan still in a seated position, Rees flies at him and delivers a rolling necksnap! PERFECTLY executed, and Ryan springs backwards to the canvas like a shot. Rees leaps over and gets a side headlock on the canvas. But wait! Ryan uses his powerful legs to catch Rees with a headscissors. He squeezes, crushing Rees’ melon like a soft wet… uh, melon. Rees tries to get out, maneuvers left, right, then does a headstand to pop out of the headscissors. And he leaps right back onto Ryan for the side headlock!
JACK JONES: WRRRRRRRRRESTLING!
Ryan turns himself over, looking for purchase to get back to his feet. With his power, it doesn’t take too much before he’s back to a standing base, Rees trying to hold on. Ryan suddenly shifts behind Rees and picks him up for a devastating belly-to-back suplex, half-dumping Rees on his head! Each man up, Rees comes in for a tie-up — CAUGHT. BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! The challenger flies almost out of the ring, then gets up only to have Dan Ryan charge him and CLOTHESLINE HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE! Rees hits the floor hard as the fans cheer! Richards goes to make his count; Ryan exits the ring to go after Rees. Bruce tells Ryan to bring it in the ring, then shrugs. He’s going to call it down the line… but he’s okay letting these two really “work out their issues.”
Ryan has Rees outside, big right hand sends the challenger staggering. Irish whip right into the guard rail. Rees stumbles forward, caught by the big locked fingers of Ryan for a belly-to-belly suplex ON THE FLOOR! Crowd winces and cheers for that! Rees holding his back, mouth an “O” of pain. Ryan picks him up with a hammerlock and takes Rees for a walk to the announce table. Ryan bashes Rees’ face into the table, then looks out. “Remember the contract signing, Rees?” Ryan gets a grip on Rees — WHAMMO. Rees leg shoots backwards, catching Dan in the Rocky Mountain Oysters. Rees tries to regain his bearings. He shoves everything off the announce table; Hewson and Jones scatter. Rees grabs Dan Ryan and rolls him onto the table! Rees with repeated shots as Bruce tells him to get in the ring, count up to 7. Rees choking Ryan, then rolls back into the ring. Bruce asks Rees what he’s playing at, but Rees ignores him. Richards tells him to let Ryan get back into the ring —
SPRINGBOARD
CORKSCREW
ONTO THE TABLE!
KABOOM!
BILL HEWSON: OH MY GOD! FRESHWATER FLIP — THROUGH OUR — ANNOUNCE TABLE!
JACK JONES: HOLY HELL!
BILL HEWSON: Bruce Richards could have called for a DQ, but just as he let Dan Ryan utilize the floor to his advantage, he’s allowed Rees to use… our table! Folks, if we lose you, you understand why! Rees the aggressor on that exchange but both men are out in the wreckage here!
Rees is the first to his feet. He pulls Ryan up by the short hairs, Ryan fights back! Rees bashes Ryan’s face into the ring apron. He rolls his man in. Bruce tells Rees to get back in — Rees on the apron. He steps through, stalking his man. Ryan is slowly getting up…
INVERTED FACELOCK
DDT FROM THE GREEN!
ONE!
TWO!
TH-KICK-OUT!
…
CONCEPTION BAY CHINLOCK!
Rees rolled the momentum of the kick-out RIGHT into the Conception Bay Chinlock, and he has Dan Ryan in the middle of the ring! Grapevine applied! Dan Ryan reaches out, he can’t get any ropes with his hand or his feet, Rees’ eyes wide, screaming like a madman, eyes wide! The crowd is on their feet, going crazy, not wanting Dan Ryan to tap out!
The Beast is right there!
Ryan’s head is swimming!
Rees is howling!
And the light in Ryan’s eyes flickers… and fades. Bruce lifts his arm up high, then releases it.
The arm drops once.
Lifted a second time…
And it drops.
Bruce lifts Dan Ryan’s arm one more time, ready to call for the bell. He releases it…
It falls…
NO! RYAN makes a fist! Dan Ryan is alive! Calling upon hidden reserves of energy! Ryan pumping his fist, the crowd rallying behind him as he rolls over! Rees is now on his back, but Ryan is on his knees. Lloyd won’t let go! Ryan reaches out, can’t reach a rope… he’s still in the middle of the ring!
But he can get to a knee. Then to a squat. Then to his full height…
And he LEAPS UP and FALLS BACKWARDS — WITH REES ON HIS BACK!
CRUNCH.
BILL HEWSON: LLOYD REES JUST GOT CRUSHED BY ALMOST THREE-HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS! Dan Ryan is spent, he used so much energy to get out of that… COVER! ONE! TWO! … AND REES GETS THE SHOULDER UP!
JACK JONES: I can’t believe Bruce is letting this go on! Dan Ryan could seriously injure a man with tactics like that! Disqualify him right now!
BILL HEWSON: Of course you know very well that the title cannot change hands on a DQ…
JACK JONES: SO THAT’S THEIR PLAN! KEEP FIGHTING REES!
Ryan kneels by the ropes, shaking the cobwebs loose from his head. Rees is clutching his ribs, coughing. Possible broken ribs or internal bleeding — he’s at least damn sore! Ryan waits for Rees to get to his feet…
DRAGON SUPLEX!
Rees folded up like an accordion! Ryan covers! Bruce counts!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Dan Ryan wins — no he doesn’t! Lloyd got his foot on the bottom rope at the last second! Bruce calling it, waving off the bell. Ryan looks for an explanation, Bruce points to the foot. Ryan shoves the foot off the rope in disgust, then picks up Rees. It’s time! Standing headscissors, Rees seems helpless to resist!
HUMILITY BOMB —
REES FLOWS THROUGH! LUNGBLOWER BY REES TO DAN RYAN! Rees throws an arm over Dan Ryan…
ONE!
TWO!
NOOOOO!
BILL HEWSON: The match continues! The World Champion kicking out after that brutal Lungblower! We haven’t seen Rees use that before —
JACK JONES: He is just THAT good, Hewson. Face it!
BILL HEWSON: I-have-faced-it-thank-you-very-much but now Rees trying to take the driver’s seat. He can’t be going for the Nish J Drop on a man who holds nearly a hundred pounds on him?!
JACK JONES: He has strength you’ve never seen before, Billy boy!
Rees tries to powerbomb Ryan up… no! He can’t lift the man, too much size, too much fatigue. So instead he starts delivering blows across Dan Ryan’s back, wildly, crazed, Richards telling him to open the closed fists, forearm shots…
This just makes Dan Ryan angry.
He stands up, Rees still pounding on his back…
SPINEBUSTER.
Ryan hooks the leg!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE—NO! REES SHOULDER UP! The will of Lloyd Rees keeps him going. Dan Ryan looks up, taking some deep breaths, getting air as Rees lays on the canvas, eyes blinking toward the ceiling —
THE O’CONNOR BOYS! Sean & Seamus, still NAPW Tag Team Champions, suddenly hit the ringside area! Sean (or is it Seamus?) gets on the ring apron! The Beast tells him to get the hell down, NOW. Sean is pointing to Dan Ryan, yelling at him, The Beast says get DOWN NOW.
Sean doesn’t listen.
His mistake.
POW!
The Beast rocks Sean with a huge right hand, knocking him to the floor! Wait a minute! Seamus is in the ring with the World Title belt behind The Beast’s back! He’s waiting for Ryan to get up, ready to strike — Bruce turns around. Seamus locks eyes with a fearsome BEAST… looks down at the title belt, grins, and then drops it on the canvas. He charges Bruce — ONLY TO GET CAUGHT! Gorilla Press by THE BEAST —
And he dumps Seamus out to the floor on top of his brother!
Bruce tells the O’Connor Boys to hit the bricks even as Dan Ryan pulls at Rees — WHAMMO! BELT SHOT TO THE FACE!
JACK JONES: What a punch by Rees!
BILL HEWSON: Are you dense? That was a goddamned belt shot! The O’Connor Boys held Bruce’s attention just long enough for Rees to do the damage! The evidence tossed out of the ring, Rees has the cover — NOT LIKE THIS!
JACK JONES: NEW WORLD CHAMPION!
Bruce has no choice but to count, he didn’t see any shot!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE —-
NO! RYAN KICKS OUT!
JACK JONES: … You’ve GOT to be kidding me!
BILL HEWSON: HOW? HOW DID HE KICK OUT? These two men will NOT stay down! What’s it going to TAKE?
JACK JONES: Why isn’t The Beast disqualified for beating up the Tag Champs? That’s what I want to know?
BILL HEWSON: …How can the referee be disqualified? Lloyd Rees has to be wondering what more he needs to do in this contest!
Rees sees only one option. He forces Dan Ryan into the corner, delivering several european Uppercuts. He tries to pick the man up onto the top rope, can’t get it, DOES. Rees climbs up afterwards, hooking a facelock. He’s looking for the WABANA BUSTER… on a three-hundred and thirty-five pound man! Ryan fights back! Exchanging blows on the top turnbuckle are both men! Rees with a thumb to the eye, he hooks, tries to LIFT…
Ryan holds onto the top rope and sends Rees flying front-first to the canvas! Rees belly-flops HARD, and then pops up as Ryan slips down from the top rope. Ryan back against the corner, Rees gets to his feet, staggering in a circle, turns around
SUPERKICK
REES CATCHES THE KICK! He sweeps Ryan’s other leg out from under him and tries to cinch in the cloverleaf, the LANCE COVE LEGLOCK — the very move he beat Dan Ryan with last year!
This time, Ryan reaches up and grabs Rees, flipping him forward! From that sitting position, he has Rees in a weird upside down position… they roll, Ryan getting to his feet, a tight grip around Rees waist, and.
Wait a minute.
RYAN LIFTS REES UP ONTO HIS SHOULDERS! He HOISTS the man extra high by the trunks…
HUMILITY BOMB!
Rees goes crashing into the canvas from damn near ten feet high! Ryan hooks the leg!
The Beast counts!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner… and STILL NAPW World Champion! “THE EGO BUSTER” DANNNNNNNNN RYANNNNNNNN!
BILL HEWSON: Ryan wins! “The Ego Buster” puts the final nail in the “III” coffin, defeating Lloyd Rees with one hell of an Humility Bomb, and walks out of this building… and NAPW! Still the World Champion!
JACK JONES: Noooooooooooooo.
Is that… weeping? Nonetheless, Ryan is handed the title belt and holds it up high, the crowd ON THEIR FEET. Paying their last respects to Dan Ryan. The O’Connor Boys have skulked back to the ring, the tag champions, pulling Lloyd Rees out. Rees is out on his feet, the back of his head hit the canvas hard on the Humility Bomb. The OCB support their “Messiah” to the back… Rees suddenly stops them. Ranting and raving, he turns and charges back to the ring! Rees rolls in, charging Dan Ryan —
THE BEAST SCOOPS HIM UP!
The O’Connors charge the ring, Dan Ryan knocks them both off the apron. He turns to The Beast.
Beast, with Rees on his shoulders, gives Ryan a look that says “let me take this one.”
CHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRT ATTAAAAAAAAAACK!
Rees hits the canvas hard AGAIN, and the OCB retrieve Rees and support him back down the aisle.
In the ring, Dan Ryan and Bruce Richards are staring each other down. Ryan smirks. Bruce shrugs. HANDSHAKE! Bruce raises Ryan’s arm, Ryan says “nah,” and raises Bruce’s arm.
BILL HEWSON: “III” may be gone, but the respect between these two men cannot be destroyed!
JACK JONES: I’ma puke.
Bruce then exits the ring, allowing Dan Ryan a chance to take the spotlight entirely to himself. Not that he’s unaccustomed to it, or that he “needs it” to validate himself.
There are reasons men become professional wrestlers. Love of sport. A channel for anger. Purveyors of mayhem.
But for all, it is to be “THE MAN,” to be the champion, to be the main event, to be the spotlight. Dan Ryan has known it all for many times, but perhaps tonight, in front of a crowd that was ever skeptical of his intentions, his willingness to compete in New Alberta Pro, his true desire… Ryan stands, the crowd chanting his name.
Dan Ryan, wrestling legend, came to NAPW, not for one night only, not for a lark, not leaving when things didn’t go his way in every match, but sticking it out, night in and night out, despite not having anything to “prove.”
For two years, Dan Ryan gave his ALL to NAPW, nothing less.
Could you ask for anything more?
CREDITS:
Lyndsey Valentine vs Tiffany Macintyre – Ro
Style Clash vs Trent Daniels & Dez Carter – Allan
Ravager & Hostile vs Jer$ey & Steve Parker – Bean
O’Connor Boys vs Total Destruction Alliance – MJ
“The Ego Buster” Dan Ryan vs Lloyd Rees – Ro
July 28, 2009 4:48 PM No Comments
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