The Phenomenons vs The Rabble (Tag Team Championship)
Bruiser Breton vs Sammy Devine (Canadian Heritage Championship)
Abbey Graves vs Jay Deschain (NAPW World Championship – Last Person Standing)
Sole Survivor Match
Backstage, Gregor Watt has caught up with Leland Conrad, Attorney at Law. He is accompanied by Rodney Brososky and Pierre Daly.
Gregor Watt: Gentlemen, you three have been working the last three months to find out who is currently bankrolling The Rabble. Would you care to tell me why?
Leland Conrad: Well, we can finally say it: Their father paid us to find out. He was very concerned that this new cash flow may make them even more difficult to deal with, so he wanted to get to the source. In fact-
Gregor Watt: So who is funding them?
Leland Conrad: (holds up a folder) Well, I have right here-
Before he can finish, The Rabble Rousers storm the scene, swarming the three men. One of them grabs the folder and runs off, only to be stopped by El Honcho, who grabs the folder from the Rouser and runs off. The camera follows him outside, where a limo is waiting. El Honcho climbs inside, and the limo drives off.
The camera pans back to Gregor Watt.
Gregor Watt: Would someone tell me what that was about?
“ONE TWO THREE GO!”
The NAPW logo fades as “Conquistador” by 30 Seconds to Mars plays over scenes from past Sole Survivor matches.
This is a fight to the death,
Our holy war,
A new romance,
A trojan whore…
We will, we will, we will,
LLOYD REES JUST SMASHED D! WITH A STEEL CHAIR! D! staggers in pain, turning around to see what the hell just happened.
DEVASTATION FROM BEHIND!
D! somehow — someway — holds onto the top rope despite his pain
And Devastation lowers the boom, smashing D! to the floor. D! crashes down at the feet of Lloyd Rees, who throws the chair down on D!.
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of SOLE SURVIVOR… DEVASTATIONNNNNNN!
This is a fight for the day,
Night, black and white
A victory dance,
A burning riot…
We will, we will, we will,
Cut. Sebastien Martyr turns, eyes flashing, and LUNGES at Simply Beautiful! A clothesline sends BOTH MEN OVER THE ROPES! Both men grab the ropes, landing more or less on their feet on the apron. Martyr turns to strike… SEXXYKICK!
AND THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of SOLE SURVIVOR… SIMPLEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLLL!
Hey, hey, say a prayer!
Hey, hey, say a prayer!
Cut. CHRIS CASINO HUNG UP ON THE TOP AND BOTTOM ROPES! REES BACK IN! Casino straddling the top rope, in painnnnnn.
Rees shakes the top rope up and down to make it worse! AND THEN…
LARIATS CASINO THE HELL OFF! CASINO FLIPS UPSIDE DOWN, HITS THE APRON, AND CRASHES TO THE FLOOR BELOW! Rees drops to the mat in exhaustion…
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner and SOLE SURVIVOR of 2008… Ladies and gentlemen! “LDK” LLOYD REES!
I am the, I am the best,
She claimed and more,
A battle scarred,
We will, we will, we will,
Cut. Trent Daniels with a right hand, Chris Casino uses the ropes to swing back in UNDER the bottom rope… under Trent’s legs! Daniels spins around —
The final member of Dirty Six in Sole Survivor tumbles out over the top rope and hits the ground in a heap! TRENT DANIELS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner and 2009 SOLE SURVIVOORRRRRRRRR… CHRRRRRRRIIIISSSSS CASINNOOOOOOOOO!
This is a fight for love,
Lust, hate, desire,
We are the children,
Of the great empire.
We will, we will, we will,
Cut. A lariat puts Bruce Richards on the ropes, Lloyd Rees charges —
REES… LANDS ON THE APRON!
Bruce grabs for him, Rees HOT SHOT! Lands on his back on the apron, snapping Bruce’s throat across the top rope! Rees rolls in and grabs Bruce from behind, back of the pants, BEALES UP AND OVER… BRUCE TRIES TO HANG ON… CAN’T! THE BEAST’S FINGERS CLUTCH AT THIN AIR AND THEN HE FALLS TO THE FLOOR! THE BEAST IS ELIMINATED!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner… and 2010 SOLE SURVIVOR… LLLLLLLOOOOYYYYYYDDD REEEEEEEEEEES!
Hey, hey, say a prayer!
Hey, hey, say a prayer!
Hey, hey, say a prayer!
Hey, hey, say a prayer!
Fade in. A tumbling lottery drum.
Fade to a bronze shield engraved with the names of the five Sole Survivors clockwise around the edge.
This is a fight to the death!
In rapid succession we see Masakre, Matanza, The Mexecutioner, Kris Jacobson, Chase Jacobson
This is a fight to the death!
Andellion Moonwater, Bryan Marshall, John Mitchell, Greta, Crimson Mask
This is a fight to the death!
Lambert Haniel, Nobody, Baron Von Powerbomb, Blake Taylor, Clancy King
This is a fight to the death!
Grillo Jr., Python, Viper Tokara, Colton Sterling, Jaxon Queen
This is a fight to the DEATH!
Squirrelly Nuttz, Prince Wadjethotep, Declan Black, Cuzin Eddie, Anton Petrov
Hey, hey, say a prayer!
Hey, hey, say a prayer!
A fast mashup of Battle Royals and brawls from the past few months! Prince Wadhotep going over the top rope! Matanza being hurled out of the ring! Bryan Marshall and Andellion Moonwater! Cuzin Eddie is out! John Mitchell is out! Grillo Jr! Lambert Haniel! Kris Jacobson! Blake Taylor! Squirrelly Nuttz! Nobody sends both members of Future Shock to the apron, but they land on their feet, grab her by the head and SUPLEX her onto the crowd that’s been gathering at ringside! Crimson Mask over the top! Clancy King! Masakre gets clotheslined over the top! Anton Petrov! Declan Black over the top!
This is a fight to the DEATH!
“And now, NAPW presents, live on I-Pay-Per-View — SOLE SURVIVOR 2014”
The picture cuts to inside the Polish Hall, house lights down, the ring light illuminated and the light show going! Fans are cheering loudly, holding up signs… they are READY for another night of New Alberta Pro action!
BILL HEWSON: Welcome everyone, we are LIVE from Edmonton Alberta, in person and on iPPV in homes across North America and more! And this… is SOLE SURVIVOR! I’m Bill Hewson alongside Jack “Attack” Jones and the anticipation is at a fever pitch!
JACK JONES: You want to etch your name in history, you WIN Sole Survivor! 30 men, and only one winner. It’s the biggest match of the YEAR, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: Five men have won Sole Survivor previously — actually, FOUR men have won the previous five matches. Devastation! Simply Beautiful! Chris Casino! And “LDK” Lloyd Rees winning an unprecedented TWO times, in both 2008 and 2010!
JACK JONES: You go down the list, you look at Battlebowl, Canada Cup, Tagstravaganza, nobody else has won any of NAPW’s marquee events twice.
BILL HEWSON: And tonight, we add a name to that list.
JACK JONES: Literally, it’ll be engraved on the shield!
BILL HEWSON: Well Jack, what’s your pick tonight? And you only get one!
JACK JONES: You imply I change my pick when it suits me. This year, the odds-on favorite is Anton Petrov… but not far behind him is Declan Black and I’m putting my money on the “Black Dragon.”
BILL HEWSON: Declan Black of course winning a traditional Battle Royale several months ago, and just last month we saw Black align himself with the “Rock City Wrecking Crew” of Squirrelly Nuttz and Prince Wadjethotep. If those three are indeed in collusion, that could prove bad news for the rest of the field!
JACK JONES: It’s every man for himself… but the numbers are going to have to work in their favor!
BILL HEWSON: Also on tonight’s card, three huge championship matches. The Heritage title on the line when “Starmaker” Sammy Devine gets his long-awaited rematch against Bruiser Breton! And of course, a match nine months in the making, Abbey Graves defends her NAPW World Championship against “The Perfect Storm” Jay Deschain in a LAST PERSON STANDING match. Folks, this one isn’t going to be pretty.
Music erupts from the PA! “I Want Your Body” by Nymphomania – a Eurodance ‘classic’ of sorts, a fast, pulsing beat with overt sexual overtones – it’s the sort of thing NAPW fans are used to by now, signalling the entrance of the Berlin-raised trio of Ernst, Gustav and Greta to loud boos.
JACK JONES: And it looks like we’re getting this party started!
BILL HEWSON: Kicking things off tonight with a TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP match! Take it away, Frank!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the NAPW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! Introducing first! From Berlin, Germany… accompanied to the ring by GRETA! … weighing in at a combined weight of FOUR hundred and SIXTY-three pounds… ERNST… GUSTAV… THE RABBLE!
BILL HEWSON: Conspicuous by their absence, Jack Attack, are the many members of the Rabble Rousers!
JACK JONES: Yeah, where are the dancers?!
BILL HEWSON: I believe they’ve been banned from ringside, much like the Phenomenal Army!
JACK JONES: Wait, so does that mean we’re in for a straight-up tag team wrestling match?
BILL HEWSON: Well, there’s always Greta on the outside, Jack… we’ll see what kind of impact she has on proceedings, as she did last night in Calgary! Fans, at a live event yesterday, the Phenomenons were addressing the fans when The Rabble conducted a brutal sneak attack. We have exclusive footage for you right now!
Cut to last night. Ernst POWERBOMBS Trailer Park Luchadore from the top rope through a table! Get Eurotrashed on Shane Stone! And a devastating Powerbomb/Blockbuster/Lungblower combination on Eric Cameron!
BILL HEWSON: The Phenomenons cleared to defend the titles tonight, but we do know that Trailer Park Luchadore suffered broken ribs, taking the powerbomb through the table.
JACK JONES: Nobody ever accused the Phenomenons of being bright, Hewson, but they could have saved themselves a lot of misery by forfeiting the belts tonight…
Greta hold open for Ernst to enter the ring, but Gustav predictably just steps straight over the top rope like it’s no big deal. The three party to their entrance music looking pretty pleased with themselves after they one-upped The Phenomenons at NAPW’s inaugural house show!
Those smiles soon turn into game faces, however…
And that gets a roar of approval from the crowd!
BILL HEWSON: Listen to this reaction Jack Attack! The Phenomenons are… popular?!
JACK JONES: Popular-shmopular, that’s not important – what’s important is what they’re wearing round their waists – the NAPW World Tag Team Championships!
BILL HEWSON: I can’t disagree with that at all!
FRANK WARBURTON: And now! At a total combined weight of FOUR-hundred and FIFTY-nine pounds! They are the NAPW WORLD Tag Team Champions — SHANE STONE AND ERIC CAMERON, THE PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOMENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONS!
Shane Stone comes out absolutely fired up after the whole house show incident, but Eric Cameron is moving notably slower – Jerry “Pops” Kohler is there with an arm across his shoulders, whispering advice in his ear.
BILL HEWSON: Conspicuous by his absence the Trailer Park Luchadore… Jack, clearly the beating The Phenomenons took at the hands of The Rabble just last night has left a mark on the champions!
JACK JONES: Are you surprised?! Cameron got DESTROYED with a powerbomb-Blockbuster-Codebreaker combination!
BILL HEWSON: One of the damnedest things I’ve seen in NAPW, Jack – and will it be decisive here tonight?!
There’s literally no question that Eric Cameron is hurt, and he rolls gingerly into the ring as Shane Stone stands atop the second turnbuckle and STARES down at The Rabble, now outside on the arena floor.
JACK JONES: This one’s gonna be good, Hewson!
The referee, “The Moose” Mark Miller is already struggling to contain this one as emotions run high – when all three Rabble members leap to the apron, he has a tough job stopping Greta from entering the ring!
Cameron and Stone back off, giving Gustav and Ernst room to enter, and we’ve got a four-party staredown in the centre of the ring!
JACK JONES: Look at the Rabble! You don’t mind people badmouthing you, but they could at least speak in English!
BILL HEWSON: I think they ARE speaking in English, Jack Attack…
JACK JONES: They’re using a lot of French from where I’m sitting!
And indeed the curse words are flying, and it’s not long before a shoving match breaks out and “The Moose” Mark Miller just has to let this go!
BILL HEWSON: The fists are flying!
Ernst and Stone are blasting each other with forearms from close range, neither looking to back down, and it’s straight up punches for Gustav and Cameron, and before long both Phenomenons get the better of the exchange, back up their opposite numbers, double Irish whip across the ring, and…
… The Rabble simultaneously slide underneath the bottom ropes and outside!
JACK JONES: Gustav and Ernst getting out of harm’s way here, Hewson!
But the ‘curse of the commentator’ strikes as harm very definitely makes its way to the Rabble’s door in the form of an INSANE SUICIDE DIVE BY ERIC CAMERON!
BILL HEWSON: OH MY! That just brought the roof off this place!
There’s a chant of “Holy Shit” from the crowd, and rightly so – both members of the Rabble just got wiped out, but it looks like that wasn’t the smartest move on Cameron’s behalf…
JACK JONES: Cameron hit the deck HARD, Hewson, and he’s feeling the effects of that one!
BILL HEWSON: His back was already in bad shape, I can’t IMAGINE how it must be hurting now!
JACK JONES: More guts than brains on that young man!
Cameron is moving slowly already, and only Shane Stone’s presence can stop Greta getting her claws on him, Stone sliding out of the ring to help his partner back in…
… Gustav and Ernst aren’t happy AT ALL with that turn of events, and after some encouragement from Greta, it’s the big man, Ernst, who opts to start this one off officially.
Meanwhile, Stone is the only Phenomenon battle-ready enough to start the bout, so Eric Cameron is left wincing on the ring apron, clutching at his lower back.
JACK JONES: Look at Greta, Hewson! She’s mimicking using the Codebreaker to the crowd!
BILL HEWSON: She’s not going to win any fans doing things like that, Jack Attack! That’s low!
Gustav and Stone collide, then, collar-and-elbow tie up style, and this becomes more a test of strength than anything else, with neither able to gain a clear advantage – they eventually have to settle for a break after a few moments of struggling and circling, and they tie up once more – only this time Ernst ‘accidentally’ brushes Stone’s eye with his thumb!
JACK JONES: Accidental foul!
BILL HEWSON: Ernst pleading his case to the referee, “The Moose” Mark Miller, but these fans are not convinced!
JACK JONES: Well when they get their referee’s license we can talk! Until then, STAY QUIET!
Ernst points to his hand, says there was nothing he could have done, and Miller really has no option but to warn Ernst not to repeat the incident, but that’s scant consolation for Stone who is in real agony here – Ernst gives him a few seconds to recover, but then decides chivalry isn’t for him and CLUBS him on the back with a forearm! Stone drops to a knee, and Ernst stares out at the crowd, a wry smile hovering at the corners of his mouth…
Ernst picks Stone up, CHOP to the chest backs him up to one of the spare corners, and Ernst brings up his BIG boot and wedges it right underneath Stone’s jaw!
BILL HEWSON: The referee giving Ernst the count this time, that is not a legal move…
JACK JONES: It’s one of those quasi-legal moves, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: Quasi-legal?
JACK JONES: Yeah. Basically illegal.
BILL HEWSON: How edifying…
Ernst breaks the ‘hold’ before the referee can reach a count of five, and then whips Stone HARD across the ring!
JACK JONES: Man! He hit the turnbuckles like a FREIGHT TRAIN!
Stone slumps right down to the mat, face down, and Ernst holds his arms up like he just won the Rabble Rousing Olympics, and he’s happy to tag in Gustav at Greta’s instruction!
Gustav hops over the turnbuckles, delivers a nasty-looking leg drop to the back of Stone’s head, picks him up, runs across the ring, rebounds, YAKUZA KICK — MISSES! Stone ducked out of the way of that one just in time, Gustav comes right back at him, Stone catches him, TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!
BILL HEWSON: Nice maneuver by Shane Stone!
Stone nods his head, gets himself going again, picks up Gustav, OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! The crowd loved that one, he sent the German halfway across the ring! Stone off the ropes, sizes Gustav up, HUGE LARIAT! Drops him with that one! Stone looking to Cameron, ‘You ready, bro?!’, and Cameron seems to have recovered sufficiently to enter himself into the fray, Stone with the tag, big cheer for Eric Cameron as he climbs straight to the top turnbuckle!
JACK JONES: Does this idiot never learn?!
BILL HEWSON: He’ll put his body on the line for his team, Jack Attack, we all know that by now!
JACK JONES: But there’s a line, Hewson, and he crossed that line with that suicide dive! He’s gonna put himself out of commission!
Jack Jones’ words ring eerily true as Eric Cameron lets fly with a missile dropkick – only for his face to twist in terror as Greta wisely trips her own man, dragging Gustav out of the ring!
Cameron finds the pool well and truly empty!
JACK JONES: Greta needed to tie Gustav’s shoelaces! That could’ve been dangerous for all concerned!
BILL HEWSON: Shoela… what world do you live in Jack Attack?!
Gustav thanks Greta, rolls in to the ring, and makes the tag to the 6’8 colossus Ernst, and Cameron is in big trouble now…
Ernst waits for Cameron to get to his feet, wraps one massive hand around his throat, and it’s time to go for a ride – CHOKESLAM! Ernst hooks the leg, nods with each stroke of the referees hand, ONE, TWO, NO! Eric Cameron gets the shoulder up, instantly clutching his lower back!
BILL HEWSON: This is not looking good for Cameron, he took one chance too many and now he’s isolated in the Rabble’s corner!
Ernst picks Cameron up by the back of his tights, just letting him hang there in the air with one arm, and with the other he makes the tag back to Gustav…
… Gustav already knows the set up here, they must have worked on this one, because he leaps over the top rope, landing a hellacious mid-air legdrop that just blitzes Eric Cameron! Gustav nods, happy with his handiwork, picks up Cameron, shoves him back into their own corner, and walks away, arm around the referee’s shoulder, turning his back to Ernst, who straight away wraps his arms round Cameron’s neck and starts choking the life out of him!
That brings Stone into the ring quicker than you can say ‘Intergalactic Planetary’, but “The Moose” Mark Miller instantly intercepts him and turns him away much to the crowd’s chagrin!
JACK JONES: The Rabble are playing a smart, smart game, Hewson – it would serve the Phenomenon’s a little better if they started using THEIR heads, too!
BILL HEWSON: Well right now The Rabble are one step ahead of the NAPW Tag Team Champions, and Eric Cameron is in all sorts of trouble!
Gustav waits for the boos to die down, waits for the attention to come back to him, then charges at Cameron, HUGE STINGER SPLASH, off the ropes, YAKUZA KICK LANDS! Cover, ONE, TWO, KICKOUT AGAIN!
BILL HEWSON: Another count of two for the Rabble, but you have to wonder how much each of those kickouts is really taking out of Eric Cameron?
JACK JONES: Each time he has to dig deep and arch his back just to shift his opponent’s weight off of him!
BILL HEWSON: An astute observation, Jack Attack!
Gustav tags in Ernst, and Ernst just rolls Cameron over with his foot like he was a piece of dirt, and DRIVES an elbow drop right into the small of his back!
JACK JONES: Ernst smells blood, and he’s zeroing in on Cameron’s lower back!
Cameron yelps out in pain, so Ernst does the honorable thing and drops another, and another! Shane Stone practically tearing his hair out in the corner as he watches on helplessly, taunted all the while by Greta on the outside, but “Pops” telling Stone to stay focussed and wait for his chance to come.
After a string of five elbow drops, Ernst picks Cameron up like he weighs nothing, delivering a HUGE pendulum-style backbreaker, the biggest we’ve seen him deliver to date!
BILL HEWSON: My gosh, Jack Attack, Ernst just absolutely TARGETING that back – this is not a pretty sight for fans of the NAPW Tag Team Champions!
Cameron is writhing around on the floor, arching his back in agony, and Ernst looks absolutely focussed at this point. He drags Cameron to his feet, HUGE forearms to the back, and he’s holding him up simultaneously, there’s just no place for his body to go, and the blows keep on coming!
BILL HEWSON: Ernst is in ABSOLUTE control, Jack Attack, are we going to see new champions crowned tonight? And if so, the house show will have been a BIG turning point in this feud.
JACK JONES: They just softened The Phenomenons up, now they’re getting ready to finish them off!
Ernst makes the tag to Gustav, mercifully, and Gustav again springs over the top rope, dropping a knee right across the small of that back! Cameron slumps to his hands and knees in pain, and Gustav moves in to apply a variation of the camel clutch!
BILL HEWSON: This could be it right here…
Miller is right in Cameron’s face asking him if wants to give up, and Gustav makes the mistake of turning Cameron round so that Stone can watch him suffer, but Cameron only draws strength from the sight of his tag partner – he starts to tell Miller that no, no he does NOT want to give up, but as soon as he starts speaking Gustav adjusts his grip to smother his mouth and nose!
JACK JONES: That’ll shut him up, Hewson!
Gustav cranks back harder on the hold, but he can feel Cameron surging beneath him, and eventually he lets it go and drives his backside down HARD into Cameron’s back! Cameron twists around on the floor, and Gustav shouts something obscene at Stone, and Stone is THIS close to making the same mistake of getting in there again!
BILL HEWSON: I tell you what, Jack Attack, The Rabble better hope and pray Eric Cameron doesn’t make the tag, because Shane Stone is absolutely apoplectic on the outside!
JACK JONES: Apo-what?
BILL HEWSON: Umm… Annoyed.
JACK JONES: This is a wrestling broadcast, Hewson, not dictionary corner…
Gustav taunts Cameron, allowing him to get up to one knee… he bounces off the far ropes, looks for an ENZIGUIRI — but Cameron ducks under! Cameron with a burst of adrenaline up to his feet, and goes absolutely KICK CRAZY!!!
JACK JONES: WHAT THE?!
BILL HEWSON: And that woke up the crowd, Jack Attack!
But just as soon as it started, the onslaught ceases suddenly, Cameron clutching his lower back again in terrible pain – but with Gustav down to one knee there’s only one thing for it…
BILL HEWSON: BUZZSAW KICK! Right to the head of Gustav!
JACK JONES: He nearly knocked his head off!
It’s all Cameron can do to slump down in the middle of the ring, some way away from his partner, and the fans are instantly on their feet cheering and yelling encouragement!
JACK JONES: I can’t believe this – these fans really DO love the Phenomenons!
Cameron starts to crawl towards his corner as Gustav makes it to his… Gustav with the tag, and Cameron so, so close…
BILL HEWSON: Wait a minute… what’s Greta…………
Greta up on the apron, and “The Moose” Mark Miller instantly over to impede her progress, as Cameron MAKES THE TAG!!!!!
SHANE STONE IN LIKE A HOUSE OF FIRE, AND….
JACK JONES: The referee didn’t see it! He didn’t see it! Illegal tag!
BILL HEWSON: Oh no…….
The crowd are INCENSED as Greta jumps down and Mark Miller has no option but to throw himself in Stone’s path, stopping him from reaching his opponents, and that’s all the encouragement they need to drag Cameron back to their corner and do a little double team stomping to raise the ire of this crowd even further!
JACK JONES: These fans are gonna riot any moment, I can feel it!
BILL HEWSON: GRETA, My God, she took away the referee’s attention and he did NOT see the tag to Shane Stone!
Greta does a Rabble-style dance on the outside, as Ernst, the big man, picks Cameron up for another backbreaker, only this time with Gustav coming down from the second rope with a guillotine legdrop!
JACK JONES: And that, my friends, is all of it! Good night, we have new tag team champions!
Ernst with the cover,
THREE — NO!
BILL HEWSON: Cameron got a shoulder up! My God, he got his shoulder up!
“The Moose” tells Ernst it really was a two, and he cannot believe it! He picks Cameron up, sets him up for something, what could it be….
JACK JONES: Don’t tell me…
BILL HEWSON: He wants to powerbomb Cameron right in the middle of the ring!
JACK JONES: No, wait, Hewson, he wants to go further – he’s calling for THE BURN!
Ernst just RAGDOLLS Cameron to the corner, hops up to the top turnbuckle, and he’s looking for that patented super-bomb of his…
Ernst up top, and Cameron up there too…
BILL HEWSON: My goodness that’s precarious…
JACK JONES: He’s got it all in hand, Hewson…
They are literally wobbling up there, Stone can barely watch, “Pops” turns to the crowd and grimaces… Greta off course loves it and yells encouragement…
JACK JONES: THIS IS IT!
BILL HEWSON: OH MY ———-
HURRICANRANA!! RIGHT OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!!
BILL HEWSON: ———– GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
JACK JONES: HOW DID HE… HOW DID HE DO THAT?!
BILL HEWSON: ERIC CAMERON! THE MAN NO ONE THINKS CAN WRESTLE! HE JUST… DID HE… HE DID!!! HURRICANRANA FROM THE TOP!!
Ernst is absolutely WIPED OUT! Gustav cannot believe what he’s just seen, and neither can Greta! SHANE STONE SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENT! He wants the tag in the WORST WAY!
BILL HEWSON: This is the chance for Eric Cameron to get out of dodge! Can he… can he do it?!
Eric Cameron is HURT! He is HURT, but he is still with us! He is crawling, craaaaaaawwwwwwwling towards his corner! The fans are on their feet! Shane Stone is going to shake that top rope clean off the turnbuckles if he’s not careful!
BILL HEWSON: Listen to this place, Jack Attack! They are fully, one hundred percent behind the PHENOMENONS!
Ernst starts to move… starts to show life… Cameron STILL crawling – Shane Stone reaching, stretching…
Ernst sees the tag coming – he LAUNCHES himself at Cameron – TAG!
BILL HEWSON: AND THIS TIME, THIS TIME SHANE STONE IS LEGAL!
JACK JONES: Oh my, Hewson, this isn’t fair!
T-BONE SUPLEX TO ERNST! GUSTAV IN, HE’S GOING FOR A RIDE AS WELL – HEAD AND ARM SUPLEX! ERNST UP, STAGGERS INTO AN OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY! GUSTAV GOES FOR A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX WITH RELEASE! WHAT HANG TIME!
BILL HEWSON: Shane Stone obliterating The Rabble! Tossing them around like ragdolls!
JACK JONES: He is something else, Hewson…
BILL HEWSON: And credit where credit’s due to Eric Cameron, Jack Attack, he hung tough in there!
JACK JONES: And pulled off one of the most INSANE moves I’ve ever seen!
Ernst and Gustav considerably slower… Shane Stone moves in – hooks them BOTH UP! DOUBLE SUPLEX!
BILL HEWSON: WOW! What a feat of strength from Shane Stone! That’s well over four hundred pounds of German craziness he just suplexed!
And now it’s time to even the odds – Stone grabs Gustav by the back of the head – and TOSSES HIM CLEAR OVER THE TOP!!
JACK JONES: A prelude to Sole Survivor! Now we’re down to two!
Or maybe that should be three – Greta onto the apron, but not for long! Stone clotheslines her clean off, but oh no! Ernst with a big boot as Stone turns back to him!
JACK JONES: GREAT MOVE, HEWSON! Quick, quick thinking from Ernst!
BILL HEWSON: The former tag team champions using all their wits, all their guile!
Both men are down! Both are down, and Ernst breathing very heavily! He’s first up though, swings WILD at Stone, Stone ducks, Ernst staggers back-first to Stone… GERMAN SUPLEX! THE BRIDGE! THE PIN!
THREE – NO!!
JACK JONES: Ernst kicks out! Ernst kicks out!
Both men up, they’re slower now, Stone the steadier of the two – and he signals that this is the END!
BILL HEWSON: PHILOTHERIANISM-PLEX! HE LANDS IT!
JACK JONES: They were so close – so close, Hewson!
But Stone doesn’t go for the cover – because he’s pointing at ERIC CAMERON! He wants his partner, his buddy, his amigo, his fellow Phenomenon to finish this one himself! And Cameron is GAME!
BILL HEWSON: Eric Cameron, back in the match Jack Attack! What a huge statement from that young man!
JACK JONES: He doesn’t know when he’s beat!
Cameron in off the tag, he’s still beat up, he’s still hurt, but he’s got something up his sleeve…
BILL HEWSON: The Blue Mist from Eric Cameron! That blew up in his own face!
JACK JONES: AGAIN!!
Somehow, some way, Eric Cameron has got his very own BLUE MIST in his eyes! He is blinded, and he has no idea where he is!
JACK JONES: What a stroke of luck for Ernst, Hewson!
Ernst, rightly, cannot believe what’s transpiring! … and before Shane can intervene, Gustav reaches in and grabs the man’s legs, pulling him to the floor!
BILL HEWSON: Ernst with the biggest of opportunities! He’s got a HUGE chance here!
JACK JONES: And look at this! He wants to make amends!!
Ernst, head foggy with the preceding assault from Shane Stone, points to the turnbuckles AGAIN!
JACK JONES: HE’S GOING FOR IT AGAIN, HEWSON! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!
BILL HEWSON: Frankly, I can’t… what a match this has been!
Ernst sits Cameron on the top turnbuckle… turns to soak in the boos of the crowd… he’s LOVING it! And he RUNS his thumb across his neck!
JACK JONES: Get ready Hewson! HERE COMES THE BURN!!!
Cameron is squinting through the pain of that debilitating Blue Mist…
BILL HEWSON: Wait just a second, there, Jack Attack…
And he is SIZING UP ERNST!!! The big man is looking outside to make sure his brother has Stone occupied…
JACK JONES: TURN ROUND ERNST! TURN ROUND!!
And Ernst does turn round… into THE MAIN EVENT!!
BILL HEWSON: SOMERSAULT CUTTER FROM THE TOP!!
JACK JONES: NO!!! NO, NO, NO, NO!!!
BILL HEWSON: It’s the MAAAAAAAIIIIIIIN EVENT, JACK ATTACK!!
BILL HEWSON: AND IT IS ALL OVER!!
JACK JONES: HOW?!?!
FRANK WARBURTON: THE WINNERS OF THE MATCH… AND STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL NAPW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!!!! ERIC CAMERON… SHANE STONE… THE PHENOMENONS!!!!
BILL HEWSON: Absolutely unbelievable performance!! Eric Cameron had to fight through adversity… he had to fight through the pain barrier… and he has DEFENDED his team’s tag titles!
The crowd are on their feet! “Pops” wakes from an unexpected standing nap, and “runs” round the ring high-fiving the fans! Shane Stone is in, and he gives Eric Cameron a pat on the back – and then instantly regrets it! But it doesn’t matter! “The Moose” hands them their tag titles – and they have DONE IT! The Phenoms make their exit, celebrating up the aisle as the three members of the Rabble stand in the ring, frustrated and angry.
As the Phenomenons approach the curtain, they are unexpectedly brushed past by a group of men coming out from backstage. Cameron and Stone don’t care about them, though. They have Mountain Dew to drink and pork rinds to devour! VICTORY!
As the Phenomenons disappear through the entranceway…El Honcho, Rodney Brososky, Pierre Daly, and Leland Conrad make their way to the ring, accompanied by one more person.
JACK JONES: Klaus? What’s he doing here?
Ernst and Gustav both notice their father is with the men they thought were working for them. They stare, shocked.
BILL HEWSON: What is happening, Jack?
JACK JONES: I swear I didn’t even know Klaus was in Canada.
The Rabble start asking questions as Klaus climbs onto the ring apron. He seems to be gesturing for The Rabble to follow him out of the ring. A mixed reaction from the crowd, as Gustav and Ernst argue with their father. Greta has raced down to ringside, absolutely furious. There is a huge argument, but the main thing we can hear is Klaus exclaim:
“Enough of this, you’re coming home!”
El Honcho lifts grabs Gustav and Ernst and starts dragging them to the back. Klaus grabs Greta by the arm and directs her away as well. The fans start a chorus of “The Goodbye Song” as The Rabble are led away.
BILL HEWSON: I don’t understand…
JACK JONES: I guess they ignored their daddy one too many times.
JACK JONES: … Maybe I should go find out what Klaus is doing here!
BILL HEWSON: I think you can just sit, Jack. That’s family business. In any event, what a way to open Sole Survivor! The Phenomenons retain the tag team championship in terrific fashion, and heck, these fans have embraced them.
JACK JONES: Nobody said these fans were very smart, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: Will you be serious? Coming up later tonight, of course, the huge THIRTY-MAN SOLE SURVIVOR match. Still to come, Sammy Devine will at last get his rematch for the Heritage Title against Bruiser Breton! But all eyes are on our WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP match tonight. Abbey “Goddamn” Graves defends against “The Perfect Storm” Jay Deschain… and it will be a LAST PERSON STANDING match.
JACK JONES: Nine months in the making — these two HATE each other!
BILL HEWSON: Right now, we have a special look back at this very personal feud, and it all began nine months at BATTLEBOWL.
Fade… instrumental music plays, quiet to begin…
9 MONTHS AGO
Inside the STEEL Battlebowl structure, Joshua Rapture flashes POWDER into Johnny Southside’s face! Southside can’t see — Deschain LEVELS a debilitated Southside with the Rolling Blackout. Hooks the leg! ONE, TWO, THREE! Southside is eliminated to a mixed reaction… /// Abbey Graves gets back into the ring and gives Deschain a double-handed slap to the chest. “What the FUCK, man?” she shouts at Deschain. Graves grabs him by the arm — Deschain with a sudden elbow shot! Graves dodges, ready, and returns fire with a STIFF kick right to the chest of Deschain! /// Deschain pops up, and Graves yells “HERE! CATCH!” Steel chair thrown right at Jay, he does indeed catch it — ROUNDHOUSE TO THE CHAIR TO THE FACE! HUGE POP! Deschain staggering, he turns around —
GRAVE MAKER! ONE! TWO! THREE! Deschain is eliminated from Battlebowl!
Several fans with Deschain t-shirts and signs boo, but most of the crowd applauds the exchange. Deschain rolls to the floor, he can’t believe it. The refs open the cage to let him out. For a second, Deschain seems to refuse, glaring back at Abbey Graves… but with a look of disappointment, he turns and exits the cage, limping and holding his chest. Graves waves him off, and turns around… Joshua Rapture nails her! /// Graves cinches Rapture by the head, points to the corner! ABBEY GRAVES DROP —
THROUGH THE TABLE!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!
FRANK WARBURTON: Joshua Rapture has been eliminated! The winner of the 2013 BATTLEBOWL… ABBEYYYYY GRAAAAAAVES!
Graves celebrates to a raucous ovation…
6 MONTHS AGO
2014 CANADA CUP, NIGHT 2
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is for the 2014 CANADA CUP!
Jay Deschain! Kris Jacobson! Deschain approaches and extends a hand, nodding – and Kris accepts it readily, nodding back. The fans cheer and applaud. /// German Suplex! With the bridge pin! 1! 2! Again only two, and the crowd cheers as Jacobson kicks out. Jay pounds on the mat in frustration… /// Deschain shoots another look at the shiny Canada Cup, then grabs Kris for a Flash Flood Driver… but Jacobson slides free, landing on his feet — and Jay Deschain pokes him in the eyes! Deschain pulls Jacobson up and nails the Flash Flood Driver… pinfall with his feet up on the ropes?! The fans are loudly booing… and someone starts chanting. “BE A MAN. BE A MAN. BE A MAN.” Jay just stares into the crowd looking outraged. How dare they. HOW DARE THEY. /// Deschain blasts Chase Jacobson with a steel chair! “ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!” /// Jacobson gets nailed! TORNADO BUSTER ON THE STEEL CHAIR! Kris Jacobson is not moving, he might be unconscious. Deschain turns Jacobson over… and slips on the High Tide Lock. Smythe raises Jacobson’s arm a third time. It drops.
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner… and the WINNER of the 2014 CANADA CUP TOURNAMENT. The PERFECT STORM. JAY! DESCHAIN!
Jay Deschain is backing up the ramp slowly, gloating, Canada Cup held up over his head. He’s grinning ear-to-ear as garbage rains on him from the crowd…
4 MONTHS AGO
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for ONE FALL… and is for the NAPW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
Abbey Graves! Jay Deschain! World title on the line! /// The Perfect Storm pulls referee Martin Chan into the line of fire! “That was no accident!” /// Deschain has a chair!! Graves finally turns to see Jay with the chair… but Deschain hesitates, seeing Chan rising. He bangs the chair noisily on the canvas, then throws it at her! Graves catches it smoothly…
… and Deschain noisily collapses like he’s been shot, just as referee Chan turns around.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen… Abbey Graves has been DISQUALIFIED. The winner of this match… The PERFECT STORM! JAAAAAAY! DESCHAIN!
Deschain grabs his trophy from the time keeper’s table and starts backing up the ramp, sneering at the crowd… and at Graves – who has three men holding her back from running after him. “Don’t you all see!? She’s JUST! LIKE! ME!”
Graves seethes after him…
3 MONTHS AGO
“Abbey Graves taking on the dangerous Joshua Rapture, NAPW title on the line!” /// Abbey Graves Drop coming up — Jay Deschain is walking down the aisle! “What the hell is HE doing here?” /// Abbey hesitates and gives Deschain the middle finger. Roll-up by Rapture! /// “Here,” Deschain says, and tosses Rapture a RAIL SPIKE. Rapture looks up at Deschain from the rail spike, and… tosses it out of the ring? /// GRAVEMAKER! The Dragon Sleeper is locked in! Rapture is silent but clearly in intense pain. He tries to get a handhold, a fistful of hair, anything…. and taps out to the champion. Graves retains! /// Abbey Graves kisses the belt, then hits a corner to raise it high for the crowd to see. Jay Deschain, still at ringside, is sarcastically applauding her, but she doesn’t seem to be bothering to notice him.
She’s not letting him ruin her moment…
2 MONTHS AGO
RIVER VALLEY RUMBLE
“The Black Dragon” Declan Black taking NAPW by storm, can he dethrone Abbey Graves here tonight? /// Abbey Graves just PLANTED “The Black Dragon!” Can the champion start to turn the tide? “Speaking of the TIDE, Hewson…” JAY DESCHAIN is headed to the ring. He starts chanting, mockingly, “GO ABBEY GO! GO ABBEY GO!” Abbey Graves heads to the top rope! Looking for her patented DOUBLE STOMP! JAY DESCHAIN PUSHES HER OFF! /// Black stares down at Deschain, shaking his head. “I don’t need your BLEEP help, I told you before to stay out of my business! Get the hell out of here!” /// Deschain takes off, up the makeshift aisle, muttering and shaking his head. Black argues with Smythe, pointing out that he just booted Jay Deschain out… JAY DESCHAIN RUSHES THE RING! He slides in! ROLLING BLACKOUT! GRAVES DUCKS! DECLAN BLACK WITH A ROARING ELBOW TO DESCHAIN!! ABBEY GRAVES! FLYING KNEE TO THE FACE OF DESCHAIN! The crowd explodes as “The Perfect Storm” crashes to the canvas and to the floor! Abbey Graves and Declan Black, champion and challenger, lock eyes for a brief second. “That’s taken care of.” /// Graves ducks the short-arm clothesline from Black! Pele Kick! ABBEY GRAVES DROP! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Abbey celebrates with her fans as River Valley Rumble comes to a close!…
BEACH BLANKET BODYSLAMS
Deschain grins — and holds the ropes open for Graves. “Come on, AAAAABBEY. Why wait? Let’s do this — right now!” /// Graves has had enough. She leaps the barricade and slides into the ring — only for Deschain to drop down and roll right out. /// Graves hits the four corners as Deschain disappears behind the curtain. She faces the hard camera, holding the belt high, foot on the bottom rope, letting everybody in iPPV know that LOOK OUT OH MY GOD ROLLING BLACKOUT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD. /// Jay Deschain has grabbed that steel chair again. He lifts it up — DOWN across Graves back! The champion is barely moving, down on her belly. Deschain with another shot, another. /// He opens the chair up, plants it in the centre of the ring. He hauls up a barely conscious Graves… and lifts her upside down. Emerald Frosion to Abbey Graves. The champion spasms —
BILL HEWSON: ANTON PETROV! SAMMY DEVINE! THE A-TEAM! HERE COMES THE CALVARY!
Deschain bails and leaps the guardrail, security barely able to keep fans from tearing him apart. /// Jake Phoenix and Terry Brandon burst through the curtain, the EMTs behind them with a stretcher. The booing dies down. Jay Deschain is gone. The A-Team, Anton Petrov, Sammy Devine, everybody with … well, grave expressions of concern on their faces.
As Abbey Goddamn Graves, fighting NAPW World Champion, is strapped into a stretcher, unmoving…
1 MONTH AGO
Terry Brandon stands in the ring. “It is with the absolute deepest regret… I must now ask Abbey Graves to surrender the World Championship.” /// The fans unleash hell as instead, JAY DESCHAIN steps through the curtain. “There’s no one left, Terry. No one can stop me. Not you, not Abbey Graves, not anyone in the locker room, not any official or suit in the back, and certainly not any of these fans. Just give me the goddamned title, and let me rule this company, just like I swore to all of you that I would. And if you don’t, things just might become… messy.” /// WARRIORS /// Wearing a neck brace, Abbey gingerly makes her way past the curtain with the help of some of the fine medical staff on the scene. “Since your little cowardly attack, I’ve been unable to train. I lost my job because I’ve been unable to go to work. I had spinal taps. I’m wrapped up like a mummy. My neck doesn’t move in ways it’s supposed to, and sleep? Yeah, fucking nope. No sleep without pain. And on top of that…”
JAY DESCHAIN: “What’s wrong there, champ? Forget your inhaler? In a little bit of pain? How does it feel, being the “fighting champion” that can’t defend her belt? All of her precious fans, disappointed.”
ABBEY GRAVES: “You want this championship? You want to be champion? Well, tough guy, see if you can take it from a crippled, bruised and beaten woman!”
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen the following match is scheduled for ONE FALL… and it is for the NAPW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!
Jay cracks a smirk, and shoves Abbey hard to the mat. She twists on the mat in pain, clutching her neck and chest. Jay laughs down at Brandon. “Look at the face of the company, your bread and butter! She’s done. Finished!” ABBEY GRAVES KIPS UP! Jay smugly turns around — YAKUZA KICK! Deschain slumps against the turnbuckle, small package, ONE! TWO! THREE! ABBEY GRAVES RETAINS!
ABBEY GRAVES: “At Sole Survivor, it’ll be Deschain vee Graves eye, eye, eye!!! /// You want to fight big, “kitten,” well, we’re gonna fight the biggest. I’ve already put you down for three seconds, and now I’m gonna put you down for a ten count! At Sole Survivor, it’ll be you and me… in a Last Person Standing match!”
BILL HEWSON: Abbey Graves — STILL the NAPW World Champion! Next month — Sole Survivor — LAST PERSON STANDING! Graves vs Deschain, these two are going to FINISH IT!!
JACK JONES: And that is how I co-created the X-Men with Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, and should be getting all the royalties from those dang movies.
BILL HEWSON: You may not be a young man, Jack, but you were still in grade school when those comics were new.
JACK JONES: And my fan letter had all the initial ideas! Cyclops? More like “Has Two Eyes But Wears a Thing That Makes It Look Like One Eye Guy!”
BILL HEWSON: …
Fortunately for Hewson, he is interrupted by Tool! ARE THEY ART ROCK OR JOCK ROCK? THE SHADOW KNOWS. The NAPW faithful, at any rate, respond with a wave of cheers as the “Starmaker” pops through the curtain, clad in a brand new “DEVINE RESISTANCE – JOIN THE RESISTANCE” hoodie.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is set for ONE FALL… and is for the NAPW Canadian Heritage Championship! Introducing first, the challenger. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-five pounds… he is “STARMAKER!” SAMMY! DEVINE!
The slightly more aggressive, militant theme on his merchandise, the new music, it all seems to mirror Devine himself. The fan favorite smiles, and slaps hands, but there is an tangible edge on the man.
BILL HEWSON: It was back in May that Sammy Devine outlasted four other men to be crowned the first Canadian Heritage champion of the “new era” here in NAPW…
JACK JONES: And one month later that he lost it to Bruiser Breton!
BILL HEWSON: A controversial victory by Breton, and since then, the current champion has seemingly been ducking Devine! The “Starmaker” is owed a rematch, but it’s been a heck of a struggle to get here.
Devine is in the ring, looking down to the curtain. He wants this, he wants this badly. There is a pause as the fans chant “Let’s go Sammy.”
Bruiser Breton steps through the curtain, coveralls and all, the Heritage title over his shoulder (clumsily transformed into the “Acadian” Heritage title with some craft supplies)…
And a cast on his arm.
BILL HEWSON: Now wait just a damn minute here, the last time we saw Bruiser Breton he was fine. What on earth is going on here?
JACK JONES: Looks pretty obvious to me, Breton has a broken arm! What a terrible break! Uh, no pun intended.
Breton comes out, a pained expression on his face. Out from the curtain comes an unassuming man in casual business attire and a blazer. He walks with Breton to the ring as Devine can’t even believe it. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Referee Stewie Lamoine isn’t sure what to do as Breton gingerly takes the steps and gets into the ring, his associate holding the ropes open. Devine wants to fight, Lamoine gets in the way as Breton backs off and pleads while pointing at the cast on his arm. The other man starts talking to Lamoine.
BILL HEWSON: Breton set to FINALLY defend the title here tonight against Sammy Devine after MONTHS of ducking. This is awfully convenient, and… here comes Terry Brandon.
The commissioner storms to ringside, and he is NOT pleased. He gets in the ring and demands to know what the hell is going on. Devine wants to go, but Terry tells him to hold off.
Terry Brandon: Let’s cut the crap here, right now. What the HELL is going on? You’re scheduled to defend the title tonight! My office hasn’t heard a single damned thing about an injury and you’re out here in a goddamn CAST?! And who’s this bastard? I’m sick and tired of wrestlers bring out lawyers to fight their battles, so help me, Breton —
Bruiser Breton: Eh, eh, now relax, mon ami. T’ain’t no lawyer mans here, dis be my doctor. Doctor Feilgutt, M.D. I was lookin’ forward to finally puttin’ away dis boy for good. But you know after dat last show, last month, somethin’ wasn’t feelin’ right. Now dis ole cajun boy, he doesn’t have a lot of love for dat modern medicine, but ol’ Bruiser knew somethin’ wasn’t right so I checked m’self into de hospi-tal and lo and behold… dis arm, de bone be fractured.
Terry Brandon: I want to see some proof of that and I want it now —
Bruiser grins, embarrassed.
Bruiser Breton: Mais oui, mais oui, let me introduce to you to de good doctor h’yeah. Dis ‘ere be de doctor what diagnosed and set dis here bone.
Doctor Feilgutt: My patient here came to me and we discovered a mild fracture along the forearm. We have x-ray proof as well. It is a minor injury that, with treatment, should heal quickly. Unfortunately for Mr. Breton, by waiting to have his injury examined, he exacerbated the condition. We caught it in time, but Mr. Breton is in no condition to wrestle tonight.
Boooooooooooo. Devine kicks the bottom rope, clearly FURIOUS. He’s ten feet away from the man who took his title, his chance being taken away again. Brandon is pacing back and forth.
Terry Brandon: Fine. When the hell can he wrestle?
Doctor Feilgutt: With treatment, and rest, Mr. Breton should be able to compete by the end of October.
Terry Brandon: This is ridiculous, a last-minute injury… the two of you have been out of control for months! This needs to be settled! I don’t like this one bit, Breton! I have half a mind to strip you of the belt RIGHT. NOW!
The fans pop, but Breton gets on the mic, a pained smile on his face.
Bruiser Breton (in his best honey-tongued voice): Maintenant, Monsieour Brandon, I would love nothing more den to defend dis title ‘ere tonight and settle dis issue once and for all. Believe me, I would, de truth. But you know, I be ready for October. I be ready for next show, I defend de belt den. You wanted to give dat chere, mademoiselle Abigail, give her time to get better, n’yeah? Now you can’t give me dat same time? Just de one month, hnnnn?
Brandon’s nostrils flare. Suddenly Sammy Devine yanks the microphone from Breton’s hand. Breton grimaces, rubbing the cast, as if the sudden contact shoots pain through his arm.
Sammy Devine: You don’t seriously buy this garbage, do you?
Brandon says nothing for a moment, then raises his hands in a gesture of defeat.
Terry Brandon: The man has a doctor right here, I have to. I don’t want to strip ANYBODY of a championship here, and if he’s ready to go next month, that’s a reasonable enough timeframe…
Sammy Devine: Are you kidding? You know he’s faking! He’s ducking me AGAIN!
Terry Brandon: I’m sorry, Sammy, my hands are tied.
Booooooo. Breton grins, making a gesture of apology. Brandon whirls on Breton, eyes blazing.
Terry Brandon: Now I’m real damn unhappy that we’re not delivering on an advertised match, so I tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna do two things, I say, two things! The first thing is this! Sammy Devine — YOU’RE IN THE SOLE SURVIVOR MATCH.
Devine perks up at that news, and the fans cheer.
Terry Brandon: And next month, as NAPW marks one year of being back in action, Breton, you will be defending that title against Sammy Devine. Your doctor says you’ll be ready to go, so you better rest and rehab it up properly. If you can’t defend, then I will strip you of the title because it’ll be your own damn fault. But that’s not what I want, I want the two of you to settle this thing, once and for all, IN THIS VERY RING. Now —
Sammy Devine: That’s well and good, Terry, but I don’t need you to fight my battles OR talk my trash.
The crowd pops! Devine turns and gets nose to nose with Breton.
Sammy Devine: First of all, Breton, I’m going to win Sole Survivor tonight, I’m going to etch my name up there along with the other greats who have won this match. Smirk all you want, Bruiser, but you’re not only looking at 2014 Sole Survivor, but you’re looking at the man who is going to Kick Your Ass. So enjoy the title a few more weeks, Because I promise you, Terry, and my entire Devine Army that that NAPW Canadian Heritage Title is coming home to us next month!!
Devine’s music hits and the two staredown. Brandon and Lamoine tense up, ready to interject, but Breton grins. He and Doctor Feilgutt exit the ring and head up the aisle. Brandon also leaves. Devine remains, mugging for the fans, pointing down the aisle to Breton and making the “I want the belt” motion.
Right before going back through the curtain, Breton turns and stares a toothy grin back towards Devine…
The slightest glint in his eye.
“The brand new Compensatia luxury sport utility convertible. Just because you’re small on the inside doesn’t mean you should be small on the outside. Six thousand horsepower, forty-three cylinder, turbine jet engine with rocket fuel injection. Get the respect on the road your family won’t give you at home.”
JACK JONES: … and after that, they never let me wrestle in Argentina again.
BILL HEWSON: You just can’t call it “soccer” down there, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: I didn’t! I called it “diveball.” WHATEVER, I DO WHAT I WANT.
BILL HEWSON: … Earlier tonight, we took a special look back at what has become one of the most personal, heated rivalries in NAPW history. Jay Deschain’s vile obsession with becoming World Champion has created nothing but frustration and pain for the champion: Abbey Graves.
JACK JONES: Now I applaud any man who does what it takes to win the gold. That’s where the fame, the money, the prestige is! But trying to end the career of somebody like he did, Jay Deschain went too far — even for me!
BILL HEWSON: After nine long months, will tonight see the end of this feud? Take it away, Frank!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest… is the LAST PERSON STANDING match for the NAPW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! There are no pinfalls. No submissions. No disqualifications OR count-outs. Each wrestler has until the count of TEN to make it to their feet. And now…
The distorted, instrumental of Trivium’s “Capsizing the Sea” emanates from the speakers. Lights darken. The fans look to the entranceway, already revving up their hate engines.
“The Perfect Storm” Jay Deschain steps through the curtains, slowly, hood shading his eyes in a brand new long coat. The smirk can’t be hidden, however. Deschain flips the hood back and looks over the crowd, EATING UP their anger and DELICIOUS jeers. He walks to the ring, in no hurry.
JACK JONES: Have you ever seen somebody look so confident going into a match like this?
BILL HEWSON: I can’t say I have, Jack Attack. We know Deschain is arrogant, he’s supremely sure of his abilities. I wouldn’t advise underestimating the champion — however less than 100% Abbey Graves may be!
Deschain wipes his feet on the ring apron and steps in, perching on the second turnbuckle, slowly raising his head and glaring at the crowd. The shit-eating grin hasn’t left his lips. Finally, the lights come up. Trivium fades.
The fans begin to buzz.
“SET THE STAGE —
THE AMBUSH BEGINS!”
The Warriors blast from the PA at full volume. As one, every hair on every arm in the Polish Hall stands on end! The mass of humanity stand together…
ABBEY GRAVES IS HERE.
THE NAPW FAITHFUL — GO GENETICALLY MODIFIED DRAGONFRUITS THAT BREATHE FIRE.
JACK JONES: Holy HELL!
BILL HEWSON: WHAT A REACTION FOR ABBEY GRAVES! She has taken the NAPW by storm the past year, no pun intended on her challenger! Tonight marks SIX MONTHS of her title reign! One of the single greatest runs we’ve seen! And there is no question that ABBEY GRAVES has defined this new era!
JACK JONES: No argument from me, Hewson, but for all her accomplishments — Abbey Graves is nowhere near 100% tonight! She’s been the underdog before, but never like this.
BILL HEWSON: Abbey Graves not fully recovered from the vicious assault two months ago! Jay Deschain dropping the champion on her head through an open steel chair with … well, what he’s calling the “Flash Flood Driver II.” Graves has doctor’s clearance to perform tonight, but just barely.
Abbey hits the ring, title belt around her waist, and wearing a “LIONHEART” Kris Jacobson t-shirt — perhaps solely to tweak Deschain, who narrowly (and with a lot of dirty pool) defeated Jacobson way back at Canada Cup to win that tournament. Abbey is clearly taped up six ways to sunday beneath her shirt, bandaging coming up onto her shoulders. But if she’s in pain, she’s not showing it, feeding off the love of the fans — and giving it right back to them!
After taking it all in, Abbey drops down to the canvas and takes her corner. Referee Martin Chan in center ring, locking eyes with both competitors in turn and telling them to wait for the bell. Frank adjusts his glasses.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, to my left. The challenger. From Black Diamond Washington, weighing in at two-hundred and forty-one pounds. He is “The Perfect Storm”… JAY! DESCHAAAAAAAAAIINN!
Booooooooooo. Jay raises a fist in the air, and points to Abbey, rubbing his neck in mockery. The champion looks grim.
FRANK WARBURTON: And to my left… from Coram New York, weighing in at one-hundred and fifty-five pounds. She is the reigning, and DEFENDING NAPW World Champion. I give you… ABBBEEEEEEEE GRAAAAAAAAVES!
“FUCK HIM UP, ABBEY, FUCK HIM UP! FUCK HIM UP, ABBEY, FUCK HIM UP!”
JACK JONES: She does have the most endearing fans.
BILL HEWSON: The champion doesn’t have much use for pretense. What you see is what you get, and the fans have responded to that as much as her guts and ability!
JACK JONES: Also, they REALLY don’t like Jay Deschain!
Graves surrenders the title to Chan with a kiss. Chan presents the gleaming gold belt to Deschain, who gazes into the polished surface. A display of the title to the fans…
DING DING DING
JACK JONES: This is it!
BILL HEWSON: No pinfalls, no submissions, the only way to win is to put your opponent down for a TEN-COUNT. This is going to get ugly, folks.
Deschain and Graves meet in the center of the ring. Jay looks down his nose at the pint-size Abbey. He talks trash, never losing his grin. Problem for him — Graves is no stranger to talkin’ shit. The number of “fucks” in her spiel increases with her volume, and Deschain actually seems taken aback. He gets angry
AND SHOVES HER TO THE CANVAS HARD.
Graves instantly grabs her neck.
JACK JONES: Her neck, Hewson!
Deschain smirks, baring his teeth callously. “Come on ref, COUNT. Stay down, Abbey… if you know what’s good for you.”
Deschain doesn’t miss a beat! ROLLING BLACKOUT — Graves ducks!
JACK JONES: WHAT?
BILL HEWSON: THE BACKSTABBER! Abbey Graves — we’re only a minute into this match! Good God! And referee Chan is counting!
The shit? The crowd is LOSING ALL OF IT. Graves rolls off and back to her feet, smiling broadly to the fans. No Dragon Sleeper follow-up, no effect in this kind of match-up. Deschain’s eyes are open. He gasps, trying to get air back into his lungs as Chan counts 3…4… 5. At six, Deschain manages to take to his feet. Graves with a running flip dropkick that sends Deschain tumbling to the floor below!
BILL HEWSON: The champion looking to end this quickly, and Deschain is reeling! The ten-count doesn’t need to take place in the ring.
JACK JONES: She needs to end it fast, Hewson, the longer this match goes the more it favors Deschain! I don’t care how fired up she is, when you’re injured, you can only run on adrenaline on so long.
BILL HEWSON: Then this might NOT be a good idea LOOK OUT!
Deschain up on the floor, trying to walk it off. Graves slides out a different side, screams “HEY YOU FUCKER!” to draw Jay’s attention — then dives THROUGH the corner ropes for a Tornado DDT ON THE CONCRETE! Deschain sits up, eyes glassy — BUZZSAW KICK!!! “The Perfect Storm” slumps to the floor. Chan counts! Abbey Graves climbs into the front row, sitting with her fans and grabbing a drink of somebody’s Gatorade. “ABBEY GRAVES, ABBEY GRAVES!”
BILL HEWSON: Deschain beats the count at seven, but he is in a DAZE.
JACK JONES: He has to slow this match down, Bill. I don’t know how long she can keep it up, but when Abbey Graves is going full-tilt nobody in NAPW can keep up with her!
With an over-exaggerated sigh, Graves stands up — and then snaps the steel chair she was sitting on shut. Deschain doesn’t even know where he IS. “HERE! CATCH!” The chair is tossed at Jay! He instinctively catches it. That proves to be the WRONG decision as Abbey leaps off the guardrail with a spin kick, bashing the chair into Jay’s face! Deschain slumps back against the ring edge, on his feet.
JACK JONES: What’s she doing NOW?
Abbey snaps the chair back open, placing it in the corner of the security rail? She nails Deschain with a kick to the chest, then peppers him with open-hand chops. Reverse kick knocks Jay into the chair! Referee Chan isn’t sure if he should count or not, Jay is technically “down” but not on the floor or canvas. Graves “adjusts” Jay and then paces away, to the next railing corner. The fans pick up and start singing:
“OLE, OLE OLE OLEEEE… OLEEEEEE… OLEEEEE!”
RUNNING YAKUZA KICK!!
The crowd roar their approval as Deschain flops to the concrete floor. Graves winks to the camera as Chan counts!
JACK JONES: …She’s ENJOYING this?
BILL HEWSON: Abbey Graves looking to retain the NAPW championship, to shut Jay Deschain up once and for all! After months of mind games and assaults, doctors and lawyers, Abbey finally has Deschain where she wants him — inside the ring!
Chan is up to seven when Jay reaches his feet, clawing up the guardrail. No sooner does Chan wave the count off then Abbey swoops back in… Only for Deschain to hoist her up and drop the champion across the rail! The crowd gasps as Abbey drapes on the guardrail, held up by the steel beneath her armpits. Deschain is on his ass, back against the rail. In no position to capitalize, but…
JACK JONES: Was that her neck? Where did she hit?
BILL HEWSON: Couldn’t quite make it out from our vantage point, maybe more her upper chest, but no question that desperate move by “The Perfect Storm” stopped Abbey cold.
The fans boo as Deschain slowly grins through the sweat beading down his face. His lip is split from the last kick, but he wraps his arms around Abbey’s waist. The fans scream in horror.
BILL HEWSON: Good god almighty, not a German suplex on the floor! Forget the match, he could end her career!
Jay heaves — and Graves clutches the rail for dear life! Perhaps literally! Jay tries again, Graves blocks. STIFF elbow to the back of the champion’s head. Several more. Jay reapplies the waistlock and sends Abbey flying! GERMAN SUPLEX!
Abbey lands on her feet! A collective sigh of relief escapes the crowd, but Jay charges at Abbey. Lariat! Abbey counters into a flying crucifix! No pitfalls here, Deschain is down, Abbey with a spin kick aimed at his head, Deschain ducks this one, scoops Abbey up for the FLASH FLOOD DRIVER! DVD coming up, no, Graves throwing wild elbows! She slips off behind Jay and dropkicks her man INTO THE STEEL RINGPOST! A sickening, dull thud is heard as the challenger’s forehead bonks the steel support. Graves leaps to the ring apron, soccer kick to the face of Deschain! That takes him down, but before Chan can count, Abbey cuts loose a scream of fury and adrenaline…
DOUBLE STOMP OFF THE APRON TO THE FLOOR!!
“HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT!
ABBEY. “GODDAMN.” GRAVES.
BILL HEWSON: Jay Deschain is down… And he may be unconscious!
JACK JONES: He’s moving Bill, but barely! Holy cow!
BILL HEWSON: The ten-count is on! Jay Deschain on the receiving end of that brutal double-stomp! Could this be all?!
Chan is up to four. Five… Six…
Jay reaches up, clutching the ring apron with white knuckles.
And Deschain just beats the count, pulling the ring apron half off to pull himself up. He rolls back into the ring. For a moment, Graves looks frustrated. Then she shrugs and looks at the fans with a bright grin. “Can’t let this fucker off that easy!” Graves heads to the top rope! She dives off, Deschain rolls to safety. Graves manages to tuck and roll through, back up to her feet, but before she regains her balance, Deschain sends her flying overhead with about as much care as baggage claim does with your luggage.
JACK JONES: The tide just came in, Hewson.
BILL HEWSON: A German suplex, Abbey Graves landing right on the back of her neck. The champ is hurt, Jack Attack.
She is hurt, and she is down. Abbey curls up, a hand clasped around the back of her neck. She puts a fist into the canvas and props herself up, beating the count at five.
Deschain swoops in and unleashes another German suplex. The crowd winces on impact as Graves lands nearly vertical on the back of her neck. Deschain pushes up, surveying the scene. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and barks at the referee to count. Chan ignores the demand; he knows his job. Abbey lays back, eyes closed, arm over her eyes. 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Abbey pushes up onto her knees, she’s hardly done yet —
Waistlock Deschain, Abbey blocks with her legs, roll forward! Tosses Deschain forward and most importantly, OFF of her! Graves hits the ropes with all muster, only to run into a thunderous Tornado Buster spinebuster. Graves sits up, hands on her neck again, but Deschain gives her no time. He facelocks the champ and hoists her up high with a vertical suplex… and holds her there.
And keeps holding her there.
JACK JONES: All the blood rushing to her head!
BILL HEWSON: Disorienting the champion on top of the damage already done, and — oh come on!
Hewson’s outburst is prompted by Deschain extending one hand, with one finger held up. The middle finger, to be precise. The fans erupt in a volley of boos, but Deschain has the champ where he wants him, finally dropping back in a big suplex. He rolls up and backs off as Chan begins to count. He reaches six before Graves starts to pick herself up. She beats the count at eight. Deschain nudges Chan out of the way and grabs Abbey by the hair. He pulls her in, Abbey looking to be in a fair amount of pain. He spits trash at her through clenched teeth, then forearms her across the chin. The champion spins on her feet, waistlock, GERMAN SUPLEX.
Deschain holds on.
A second German suplex.
He keeps the hands locked and rolls it through.
A THIRD German suplex. Screams from the crowd. Deschain finally lets go, gets up… and Abbey Graves is hurt.
JACK JONES: How many suplexes has that been, Hewson? Four? Five?
BILL HEWSON: At least five or six, and the champion… the champion isn’t moving.
JACK JONES: And she may not be the champion for very long! Love him or hate him, Deschain has one strategy, and it might win him the WORLD championship!
Deschain backs off and the crowd is mixture. Some people are hushed, silenced, in disbelief. Others refuse to stop rallying, chanting, cheering for the hardcore heroine.
But Chan continues to count.
The champion stirs…
GRAVES JUST BEATS THE COUNT. With a mad dash and a lunge for the ropes, the reigning champion for the past half a year is on her feet. Deschain snorts, a masochistic smirk on his face. With the champion holding the ropes for support, Deschain grabs another waistlock with little resistance. GERMAN SUPL— no! Graves holding onto the top rope for dear life! Deschain driving forearms into her back! Again he tries, Graves white-knuckling the rope. Deschain resets —
LOW BLOW!! Abbey Graves shoots a leg back. Jay makes the wrong kind of “O-face,” grimacing as the crowd cheers. Abbey turns around, hooks Jay by the head, hooks the leg, what is this…? With a surge of fire — FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX, NO, INTO A MICHINOKU DRIVER!!!
JACK JONES: What the hell was THAT?
BILL HEWSON: A desperate maneuver from the world’s champion, she has Deschain down…
JACK JONES: I’ve seen that before, I swear it! I can’t — what the hell is THIS?
BILL HEWSON: If it’s is what I THINK it is, this could be it!
With Deschain down, Abbey grabs his arms and pulls them behind his back! She puts a foot on the back of his head, lifts his upper body off the canvas…
CURB. STOMP. SUPER DRAGON-UH STYLE. People jump out of their seats, multiple gasps of sympathy pain chime out, and Deschain is face-down on the canvas, a mixture of spittle and blood strung from lips to canvas! Graves, exhausted, sore in every pore, collapses against the middle turnbuckle. Holding her neck, she yells “count that fucker down!”
Deschain’s lips flutter as he breathes out, thick white drool on his chin specked with red.
The challenger pushes up.
With sudden whiplash, Deschain snaps to his feet before it’s too late. One side of his face is purpling. Graves mouths “fuck” as Jay tries to regain his bearings.
SPEAR THROUGH THE ROPES!! DESCHAIN AND GRAVES TUMBLE TO THE FLOOR!
JACK JONES: Back outside we go! This isn’t Last Person Standing in ALBERTA, is it? Last time we did that there was a pick-up truck, and a waterpark, and a BOAT…
BILL HEWSON: I don’t think either of these two would make it to the parking lot. Abbey Graves and, give him credit, Jay Deschain, are both taking severe amounts of punishment, but they won’t stay down for the ten count.
JACK JONES: They’re beating the living hell out of each other is what they’re doing, Hewson! Nine months of animosity coming out right here tonight!
Both competitors are down on the outside. Chan is counting, but both are almost up by six. He waves it off at seven. Both wrestlers tired, hurting. Deschain throws an elbow to Graves. Graves sags… then braces and delivers a thudding kick to the chest. Deschain sags… and an elbow. Boo. Graves… kick. Yay. Elbow. Boo. Kick. Yay. Elbow… BOO. Kick… YAY. Elbow… BOO. Kneelift from Deschain cuts-off Graves! He shoves Graves into the ringpost, she ducks behind, kick. Kick. KICK. KICK! The crowd: “Yay! Yay! YAY! GRAVES! GRAVES! GRAVES!” She delivers four kicks, five, six, seven, eight, the crowd chanting GRAVES with each one, nine, TEN! Deschain is folded over, only upright because he’s wedged against the edge of the ring. Graves with the Yakuza Kick! Nobody home! Graves narrowly avoids the ring post, but can’t avoid Deschain nailing the MONSOONPLEX, sending her down on the concrete! Graves is down. “The Perfect Storm” doesn’t even let Chan get the count past one. He hoists Graves onto his shoulders…
The crowd screams NO.
Deschain looks around… wait.
JACK JONES: Look out —*
Jack and Bill scatter out of the way as DESCHAIN DELIVERS THE FLASH FLOOD DRIVER… THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE TO THE FLOOR BELOW. The table explodes as Abbey goes through, head and neck first. Deschain sits up in the wreckage.
Abbey Graves is not moving.
BILL HEWSON: … Abbey Graves isn’t moving. The champion is not moving. Jay Deschain, with a Flash Flood Driver, right through our announce table… referee Chan is checking on her.
JACK JONES: I think we might need some help out her. Guys? In the back? Uhm… we might need some help.
Referee Chan has forgone the standing ten-count. He’s down on his knees, checking on the motionless Abbey Graves. Deschain is trying to get his attention. “Hey. HEY. What are you doing, count her out.” Chan ignores him, Deschain grabs him, and Chan LOSES IT. “Back off, Deschain. Back the hell off RIGHT NOW.” Deschain, surprised, backs off…
Chan is looking towards the curtain, motioning for help. Terry Brandon is on his way out, along with EMTs bearing a stretcher. Brandon looks concerned. Deschain tries to grab Terry. Obsession gleams in Jay’s eyes. “Sorry, Terry. Looks like I’m the champion.” Brandon is speechless for once, burning a hole in Jay and turning to Abbey. The crowd are standing, trying to see what is happening. Little kids are crying. People spit on Jay Deschain, throwing things at him. Jay hovers just beyond the scene, leering like a vulture. Bill and Jack are seen to the sides, headphones still on, standing outside the wreckage as far as the cords let them.
JACK JONES: We knew they wanted to finish this, hell, Abbey Graves wanted THIS kind of match to end it, but…
BILL HEWSON: Not like this, Jack Attack. Jay Deschain can’t be satisfied with winning, he has to try this? He has to try to end Abbey Graves’ career? What a goddamn asshole.
JACK JONES: That’s… that’s what the shirt says… Jesus, Bill, she hasn’t moved since — since —
Jack’s weak attempt at levity masks the anxiety even the king of sleaze feels. Because Abbey Graves has not moved since going through the table to the floor. Brandon swallows hard, aghast at what has become. The EMT carefully, professionally load her onto the plank and strap her on. The neck stabilizer is put into place. One, two, three, lift. The wheels touch the ground. The fans begin to clap, applauding. They aren’t getting a “finish” to the match, but it doesn’t matter.
Everybody just hopes Abbey “Goddamn” Graves will be okay.
BILL HEWSON: Folks, I’m not sure what to say… Abbey Graves, at five-foot-five, one hundred and fifty-five pounds, has never backed down from any challenge, any wrestler, no matter how big. But tonight, she found a mountain she can’t climb.
JACK JONES: This is a crummy way for a title reign to end.
The fans cheer as the stretcher is wheeled around the ring, then into the aisle. Brandon and Chan keep pace with the medical entourage as Deschain is in the ring.
JACK JONES: Will you look at this asshole?
BILL HEWSON: What do you… Good grief. Are you kidding? Jay Deschain has the World title belt!
Deschain has the belt, and he holds it high in the air.
The crowd gives him so. much. hate.
BILL HEWSON: He hasn’t won anything! Referee Chan stopped this match for the safety of Abbey Graves! That’s his first job!
JACK JONES: We need to get Terry Brandon on this, but I don’t think it’s on his mind right now.
BILL HEWSON: Abbey Graves being taken out of here on a goddamn stretcher, and Jay Deschain celebrating like he ACCOMPLISHED something admirable! What a — a — wait just a damn minute, what the hell?
JACK JONES: Bill, what — WHAT?
The commentators lose their grasp of words.
Because just before disappearing through the curtain, Abbey Graves raises her arm.
She raises a FIST.
Her whole arm shakes. Her body starts shaking. The EMTs pause, dumbstuck, as Abbey’s shaking continues! She suddenly reaches across her chest and rips off the strap! She reaches down and rips off the feet! Graves … falls off the stretcher, barely able to stand! Terry Brandon is there, trying to talk sense into Abbey, and she starts at him with the fires of a thousand Hulk Hogans.
“GodDAMMIT Terry Brandon get the FUCK out of my FUCKING way because this FUCKING match is GODDAMN NOT FUCKING OVER”
Brandon pretty well bumps off that tirade, and Graves looks into the ring with WHITE HOT EYE LAZERS. Deschain’s mouth is working, but no sound is coming out as he stares down the aisle at the STANDING Abbey Graves.
“DESCHAIN YOU SORRY FUCK GET OUR FUCKING HANDS FUCK OFF MY FUCKING BELT ARAAARRRRRHHHHHHH!”
BILL HEWSON: ABBEY GRAVES IS CHARGING THE RING!!
JACK JONES: I — WHAT — I — HOLEEE HELLLLLLLLL!
Abbey Graves slides into the ring and for a moment, Jay Deschain is frozen. He can’t even believe it, he has no idea what to do! Abbey Graves uses that to charge him with a flying headscissors that takes Deschain down! Jay gets to his knees and Graves unloads with a brutal, stiff kick to his chest. And now here comes the FLURRY. With every kick, the crowd chants, louder and louder:
“GRAVES. GRAVES. GRAVES. GRAVES. GRAVES. GRAVES! GRAVES! GRAVES!”
Deschain sways on his knees, Graves pauses, the crowd revving up!
Deschain ducks the roundhouse kick and grabs the legs! High Tide Lock? But no submissions… Deschain knows that, and he CATAPULTS Graves into the turnbuckle! Nimble as a cat, Abbey lands feet-first on the middle ropes! She dives off with a cross bodyblock, Deschain ducks! Graves rolls through and up, hits the ropes, Deschain catches her with a clothesline! Graves hits the canvas, but somehow KIPS UP!
Exactly as Deschain hoped.
ROLLING BLACKOUT —
PELE KICK! Deschain drops down to one knee, goggle-eyed! Graves hooks him around the head!
JACK JONES: This could be it Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: ABBEY GRAVES — WITH FIRE IN HER BELLY FROM GOD KNOWS WHERE — ABBEY GRAVES DROP —
Deschain throws Abbey off as she turns off the corner for the Acid Drop! Graves lands HARD in the centre of the ring, upper back and neck the point of impact! She springs up like she’s been shot, hand on the back of her neck, and only glimpses out of the corner of her eye…
Graves turned inside and out by the deadly elbow strike of Jay Deschain, and she hits the canvas. Martin Chan begins to count.
JACK JONES: And that’s it, Hewson. This kid has guts to spare but… not after everything!
BILL HEWSON: It’s not over yet Jack Attack, but by God, Deschain has never hit a Rolling Blackout so perfect, so vicious.
The crowd is screaming, begging, pleading for Abbey to make it up. She slowly rolls on the canvas, face a mask of pain. She doesn’t want to yell, but can’t stop holding her neck, the neck that has taken so much damage in the past months.
And Chan is at five.
“LET’S GO ABBEY, CLAP CLAP CLAP”
Graves somehow rolls over, hands and knees, still clasping her neck. Deschain is on his feet, the color in his face gone, only highlighted by the red and the wetness and the pink cheeks.
Graves tucks in, almost fetal.
NO! NO! NO!
JACK JONES: Whaaaaaaaaat?
BILL HEWSON: ABBEY GRAVES IS UP! ABBEY GRAVES BEAT THE COUNT! ABBEY GRAVES WILL NOT DIE!
Graves is standing. The crowd. THEY HAVEN’T SAT DOWN. The camera pulls out to show the entirety of the Polish Hall, the elated crowd, Abbey Graves standing on her own two goddamn feet. On wobbly legs, she looks right at a shellshocked Jay Deschain.
“IS THAT ALL YOU FUCKING GOT?”
And a look of pure and utter HATRED twists Deschain’s face into a grotesque mask. Deschain storms in with an elbow strike. Graves has no counter, and barely any resistance as Jay Deschain picks her upside down…
BILL HEWSON: Good God NO.
JACK JONES: This is how he injured her, Hewson!
Flash Flood Driver… II.
Both wrestlers are down, and referee Chan begins his count.
BILL HEWSON: Abbey Graves took that, as if… her final act of defiance took every last ounce of intestinal fortitude.
JACK JONES: She just stood there and took it, Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: But Jay Deschain — that may have been all HE had left!
The crowd is cheering at the top of their lungs. They know she can do this.
Deschain rolls to his knees.
And the challenger takes his feet.
ABBEY GRAVES PUSHES UP.
And then collapses.
Fresh out of miracles.
Referee Chan calls for the ball and advises Frank Warburton of the official decision.
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match… and NEWWWWWWW NAPW World Champion. “The Perfect Storm” … JAY. DESCHAIN.
The fans are too stunned to boo. Their still-beating hearts have been ripped out of their chests.
BILL HEWSON: We have a new NAPW World Champion, and his name… is “The Perfect Storm” Jay Deschain. But Abbey Graves never backed down, Jack. She never gave up.
JACK JONES: There comes a point when the human body, just can’t do it anymore. It’s not just tonight, it’s been the past half a year of beatings, physical matches, everything she’s taken, that brutal injury!
Referee Martin Chan hands the title belt to Deschain and raises the new champs hand in victory. Jay is in a daze. He doesn’t seem to be blinking, even. He looks down, realizes the belt is in his hands, and clutches it tight to his chest. Then sways and grabs the top rope to steady himself. Deschain drops to the canvas and rolls out of the ring. He takes one look back at Abbey Grave, shaking his head.
BILL HEWSON: I think the champion is going to need some medical attention himself.
JACK JONES: He’s just overcome with emotion at finally winning the gold!
BILL HEWSON: Maybe. Like him or hate him, and well, most of you choose the latter, Deschain took the beating of a lifetime tonight.
Deschain looks for words, can’t find anyway, and turns around. It’s as if he wants to gloat, or perhaps he doesn’t quite believe he finally put Abbey down. The champion turns and walks back to the curtain. Trivium fades out… and the fans attention is drawn into the ring. Referee Chan and Terry Brandon are both beside Abbey.
BILL HEWSON: Graves appears to be responsive, Jack. Thank God.
Abbey has a hand across her eyes, perhaps not wanting to open and face the fans. Terry is heard telling her to lay down, I say, lay down, we’ll put you back on the stretcher. The camera is in tight. “I don’t want… I don’t want to be on a stretcher again tonight, Terry. Help me sit up.” “Abbey, I think…” “Terry. Please.”
Slowly, gingerly, Chan and Brandon help Abbey to a sitting position. The now-former champ braces herself and slowly rises to her feet. Brandon and Chan back off, leaving the ring as Abbey stands as tall as her body allows her (and she wasn’t tall to begin with). Slowly, she looks out over the fans, simply saying “I’m sorry.”
The NAPW vehemently disagrees with her need for an apology. The noise grows, rising in volume and intensity. Stomping, clapping, whistling, and…
“THANK YOU ABBEY
THANK YOU ABBEY
THANK YOU ABBEY
THANK YOU ABBEY”
Graves can’t keep her eyes from moistening. She almost starts laughing, emotion washing over her, a smile on her face. With the back of her hand she wipes the tears away and bows, gingerly, to each side of the ring. Finally she raises an arm, high as she can, and heads to the ropes. Brandon holds them open for her. Graves uses the shoulder of Chan to step down; she is unable to suppress a jolt of pain. Brandon and Chan offer her support, but Graves murmurs no, with a small head shake.
It’s a long walk.
BILL HEWSON: Abbey Graves gave you her body, she gave you her heart, she gave you her very soul. Thank you, Abbey.
Graves slowly makes her up the aisle. Finally before the curtain, she turns and looks back to the fans. A last bow. And then she disappears. Brandon and Chan follow, a few steps behind.
A good time for an intermission.
In the middle of intermission, with fans getting photographs with a few of the wrestlers, buying shirts and 8x10s, or replenishing their snacks and beverages, the video wall suddenly switches from promo packages to a live feed! The live audience and iPPV suddenly see THE RABBLE! A subdued and whipped Ernst, Gustav, and Greta meekly submit to their authoritarian father. Klaus points to the open door of a black limousine. The boys clamber in, Ernst ducking his head.
Greta… pauses. Steeling herself, she straightens up and looks her imperious father in the eyes.
Greta: Nein, vater. Ich habe eine große chance!! Vater. Bitte.
Klaus eyes his daughter with a sign of respect, but the cold steel in his eyes is resolute.
Klaus: Nein, meine tochter. Lass uns gehen, bitte.
Greta: Bitte sehr, Vater!
Klaus: Nein. Jetzt gehorcht mir.
For a moment, Greta looks ready to rebel…
And a piercing, angered scream penetrates all nearby eardrums as Greta throws something away. She sags and disappears into the limousine. Klaus exchanges last words with attorney Leland Conrad before entering himself. Conrad closes the door, and the limo drives off… possibly for good.
Conrad and his partners exit the scene. But the camera remains on, jostling as the cameraman looks for… something?
Like the object Greta threw. A lottery ball, the same that every NAPW wrestler in Sole Survivor has. It’s broken open, and the foil-embossed ticket stamped with a clear “#30” is clearly visible.
A hand reaches into the picture and clenches the ticket in its grasp. The camera tries to swing up to see who the hand belongs to, but suddenly, violently, jerks to the side. The camera goes still, now lying on the ground, and boots tread in front of it… and out of scene.
JACK JONES: … wearing only duct tape on all his naughty bits.
BILL HEWSON: Well at least his dignity was preserved.
JACK JONES: Yeah, but he was a hairy man, so…
BILL HEWSON: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re back from the intermission, and we’re getting set for one of the biggest matches of the NAPW year.
JACK JONES: It’s Sole Survivor, Hewson! It’s the kind of match that separates the wheat from the chaff! The curds from the whey! The…
BILL HEWSON: We get it, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: … good. From the. Bad.
BILL HEWSON: There’s at least one big question going into the match… we found out earlier tonight that Greta had the luckiest number of the draw! Number 30! But she won’t be able to capitalize on this once-in-a-lifetime chance, because her father dragged her and the Rabble back to Germany!
JACK JONES: We DO know that someone snagged her number backstage, but who? Who’s getting the golden opportunity for a shot at the title of their choice?
BILL HEWSON: Speaking of titles, we also have an update on the condition of Abbey Graves. She was checked out backstage, and then taken to Royal Alexandra hospital for observation. We’ll be sure to keep you updated on her condition at NAPW-online.com.
JACK JONES: Sometimes, all the fighting spirit in the world can only take you so far against someone who’s bigger and stronger than you.
As the last of the crowd takes their seats, Frank Warburton has climbed into the ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen… it is now time for the 2014 SOLE SURVIVOR MATCH!
JACK JONES: Here we go, Hewson! My money’s on Declan Black!
Huge cheer from the crowd, they’re ready for one of the most anticipated matches on the NAPW calendar!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are the rules. In just a few moments, those individuals who drew numbers ONE and TWO, respectively, will enter the ring and the Sole Survivor match begins. Every two minutes thereafter, another wrestler enters the ring according to the number he or she drew. Elimination occurs in this contest when a wrestler is thrown over the top rope and both feet must touch the floor. The individual who remains in the ring after all competitors have entered will be declared the winner… and the 2014 SOLE SURVIVOR!
There’s another cheer, and then a hush descends on the crowd in anticipation.
“OH LORD, please don’t let me be MISUNDERSTOOD.”
The crowd pops as The Animals hit the speaker and PRINCE ANDELLION MOONWATER steps out from behind the curtains, smiling and giving a royal wave to his fans in the audience.
JACK JONES: Oooh! Tough break for Moonwater, Hewson! Drawing number one in Sole Survivor is about the unluckiest thing I can imagine.
BILL HEWSON: He’ll definitely have his work cut out for him, but the Prince of Crystalwood has shown time and again that he can tough it out against some pretty impressive odds.
Moonwater flips into the ring, then pulls on the ropes, waiting for his first of 29 opponents to join him. If he’s worried, it sure doesn’t show. He looks excited.
JACK JONES: And who’s number two?
Yaoil Mictalan! The crowd cheers again as GRILLO JR. rushes out from the back, greeted by the whistling of his Bug Buddy Cricket Club!
BILL HEWSON: Grillo Jr. is certainly earning himself the hearts of the NAPW Nation!
JACK JONES: WHAT!? I can’t hear you because some kids are BLOWING WHISTLES RIGHT BESIDE MY EAR!
Grillo slides into the ring and pops up to another cheer. He turns to face Andellion Moonwater and gives the half-Otter prince a respectful nod and offers a hand. Moonwater smiles and returns the handshake to some applause from the fans. They then back off to a corner each as all four NAPW referees – Martin Chan, Stewie Lamoine, Moose Millar and an obviously pregnant Morgan Smythe – all take a side.
DING! DING! DING! Sole Survivor ‘14 is UNDERWAY!
Grillo and Moonwater both meet mid-ring and lock up! They jockey for position, and Grillo Jr uses his size to quickly take the upper hand, slipping Andellion into a wristlock. Moonwater grabs a nearby rope and uses it to flip himself around, and then sweeps Grillo’s legs out from under him. Grillo rolls through onto his feet, only to see Moonwater coming off the ropes in a flying cross body! And he catches him… Sidewalk Slam! Moonwater tries to roll back up, but Grillo catches him and hoists him up to toss him over the top rope… but the Prince catches the ropes and shakes his head! The two struggle for a moment… then Moonwater manages to hook Grillo’s head… they spin into the ring… Sitout Facebuster!
BILL HEWSON: Great transition from Andellion Moonwater!
JACK JONES: But he put them both back in the ring, and you can’t win that way.
Moonwater rises to his feet as Grillo rolls back up, and the two give each other a respectful nod once again. They circle, then Grillo goes to grab the Prince, only for Moonwater to duck aside and hit the ropes again. Grillo turns to meet him, going low for a body drop, but Moonwater leapfrogs him! He rebounds off the ropes and leaps at Grillo Jr. for a dropkick… but the luchadore catches him by the legs… Moonwater transitions it into a Wheelbarrow Bulldog! Again, Grillo goes down in the ring and Moonwater kips up to a cheer as the clock starts counting down! 5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzzzzt!
“Radetzky March” by Johann Strauss Sr!
JACK JONES: It’s Baron Von Powerbomb!
The Austrian-Albertan enforcer, BARON VON POWERBOMB, marches out from behind the curtain in a fur-lined robe, wiggles his bushy handlebar moustache, and then marches to the ring to the music with a sneer.
JACK JONES: First son of a first son of an Austrian baron! Now THIS is a man who knows about real prestige!
BILL HEWSON: I’m not certain what Von Powerbomb’s deal is, but he’s been awful chummy with Clancy King and Blake Taylor of late.
JACK JONES: He just knows to align himself with a pair of winners, Hewson!
Grillo Jr., back on his feet, and Andellion Moonwater both back off a bit as the Habsburg Hammer shrugs off his robe, climbs up into the ring, steps inside… and immediately charges at Moonwater with a clothesline! Moonwater ducks aside and the Baron hits the ropes where he catches himself from going over, wide-eyed! He spins around against the ropes and Grillo Jr. meets him with a big lariat! BVP goes tumbling over the top to a huge cheer… but lands on the apron! He clambers to his feet, but before he can climb back into the ring Andellion Moonwater nails him with a springboard dropkick! The Baron slips, teetering, one hand still barely holding the top rope, other arm pinwheeling as the crowd goes “WHOOOOOOAAAAAAH.”
JACK JONES: No fair double-teaming him! It’s supposed to be every man for himself!
He catches the top rope with his free hand! Laughing, he pulls himself straight… and Grillo Jr. tackles him in the belly through the second rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: Baron Von Powerbomb has been ELIMINATED!
The crowd cheers as Grillo pops back up. Moonwater smiles and gives him a bit of applause, and Grillo returns it with a thumbs up. The pair circle each other for a moment, then lock back up in the middle of the ring. This time, the smaller Moonwater manages to slip through Grillo’s grasp, and catch him in a hammerlock! Grillo starts trying to power himself free… even as the clock starts ticking back down! The crowd is chanting along… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzzzzt!
The Misfits and “Mommy Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight.”
BILL HEWSON: One half of the Rock City Wrecking Crew and a man who seems to have history with, and some kind of deal with, Declan Black.
Number four in the match, SQUIRRELLY NUTTZ, rushes out from the curtain, sprinting into the ring and sliding in to boos from the crowd. He’s on his feet and charging at Grillo Jr. quick as a flash, and Grillo only JUST has time to duck… which makes Nuttz plow into Andellion Moonwater instead! The prince is sent reeling into the corner, while Nuttz turns and nails Grillo with a headbutt! Grillo Jr. recoils, clutching his head, and Squirrelly grabs his leg, trying to tip him over the top! Grillo isn’t that out of it, grabbing the top rope and trying to kick Squirrelly off with his free leg, refusing to be eliminated. Nuttz takes a few kicks, then lets go of the leg, turns… and gets a face full of AONYX KICK! The crowd goes NUTS as NUTTZ goes over the top rope!
JACK JONES: NO!
But he lands hard on the apron! Grillo is still by the rope, and Nuttz grabs one of his legs, dangling precariously close to elimination. Grillo tries to kick him free, while Andellion Moonwater grabs one of the ropes for leverage and starts trying to push Squirrelly Nuttz off the ring. The “Barefoot Brawler” tries to pull himself to the corner… and one of his legs slips! It touches the ground… but Stewie Lamoine is indicating it’s just the one bare foot, and Nuttz is already back on the apron, both hands now holding tight to the ringpost while the other two try to kick him off.
JACK JONES: Maybe Nuttz is about to get some help!
The clock is ticking. Crowd chanting along. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzzzzt!
BILL HEWSON: It’s the man they call Nuker!
JACK JONES: A big star here in western Canada, back in the late nineties in the DWO!
There are DWO fans in the crowd tonight, and they’re already chanting “NU-KER! NU-KER!” as NUKER emerges from the back, takes a second to pose on the stage, then rushes to the ring! He slides in and stalks over to the corner where Squirrelly Nuttz is shaking his head “NO” as Grillo Jr. and Andellion Moonwater both work to pry him loose. They turn in unison as the 6-foot-6 man who is well over three-hundred pounds rushes the corner and LEVELS them both with a clothesline! They both roll aside in opposite directions as Nuker reaches down and grabs Squirrelly Nuttz… then ROUGHLY yanks him free of the ringpost and hoists him onto his shoulders!
BILL HEWSON: Gorilla Press Slam! This is it for Nuttz!
Or is it? Squirrelly Nuttz BITES Nuker’s arm, and the big man howls, letting go of the hardcore wrestler who tumbles to his feet and SHOVES Nuker toward the ropes! Nuker staggers, rebounds off the rope, and comes right back at Nuttz with a clothesline that sends the Horror of Humanity ass over teakettle and landing with a crash! Nuker, standing tall in the ring, lets out a roar for the crowd and they cheer!
JACK JONES: Hell of an introduction, I’ll give him that!
Grillo Jr. is back on his feet in a corner while Andellion Moonwater pulls himself back up, and the clock is once again ticking down to another entrance.
BILL HEWSON: Who’s number six?
5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzt!
Jimi Hendrix. “Are You Experienced.”
BILL HEWSON: Oh my.
LAMBERT HANIEL saunters out from behind the curtains, smiling an enigmatic smile. He’s carrying a cup of coffee and a folded up newspaper. The number six entrant in no hurry to arrive in the ring as he receives a mixed reaction from the crowd.
JACK JONES: Wait, is that tomorrow’s newspaper?
In the ring, Moonwater has pulled Squirrelly Nuttz up and driven him into a corner to try and work him over the top rope, while Nuker and Grillo Jr. grapple with each other near the middle of the ring. Lambert stops next to the ring and sips his coffee, watching as Moonwater tries to leverage Nuttz over the top. Andellion notices him, looking momentarily puzzled – and that’s the split second Squirrelly needs to headbutt Moonwater and send the prince staggering to the middle of the ring. Haniel, smiling, walks over to the timekeeper’s table and sits down, setting his coffee down and opening up the paper.
BILL HEWSON: What’s he doing? He can win the match by sitting outside the ring.
JACK JONES: He can’t lose it either, Hewson! And having drawn number SIX, I don’t blame him picking a better spot to enter at.
BILL HEWSON: I’m pretty sure that’s against the spirit of the match, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: Well, it isn’t against the rules!
That doesn’t stop Moose from shouting at Haniel to “get his ass in the ring and fight.” Lambert just looks over his newspaper and smiles at the referee. In the ring, Squirelly Nuttz is angrily, rabidly stomping on Moonwater in the middle of the ring, while Nuker and Grillo Jr. exchange chops nearby.
BILL HEWSON: The ring is starting to fill up. Only one elimination so far…
5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzt!
Revving bike engines and The Shangri-Las’ “Leader of the Pack” hits the speakers and the crowd boos as EL HONCHO steps out from behind the curtains at number seven! The big luchadore is wearing a leather jacket with “EL HONCHO” bedazzled on the back, and a pair of mirror shades over his luchadore mask. He shoots the double guns at the crowd.
BILL HEWSON: Big man on the way!
The giant luchadore, nearly seven feet tall, lumbers toward the ring and climbs in, tossing off his jacket and shades. Squirrelly Nuttz turns to meet him and is greeted by being scooped up in a huge Belly-to-Belly suplex that sends the Barefoot Brawler all the way to the ropes! He then reaches down and plucks up Moonwater to screams from the crowd!
JACK JONES: I think this may be our second elimination!
But El Honcho doesn’t toss Moonwater out of the ring… he tosses Moonwater at Grillo Jr. and Nuker! The three men crash together and spill into the corner! El Honcho lets out a big laugh and goes “EEEEEYYYYYYYY!” Lambert Haniel looks back up over the newspaper, then returns to his reading.
BILL HEWSON: El Honcho showing some dominating power in the ring… but I can help but wonder if he may have made a mistake by not eliminating Andellion Moonwater when he had the chance.
Nuttz is untangling himself from the second rope, while Nuker shoves Andellion aside. Grillo Jr., however, is back on his feet! He rushes at El Honcho as the big man turns around and NAILS him in the guts with a shoulder tackle! Honcho staggers back, grunting and doubling over. Grillo grabs him by the mask… CRACK-IT! The crowd CHEERS as Honcho reels backward all the way to the ropes and sags there, and Grillo’s right on his heels! Literally! He grabs El Honcho’s feet and tips him up and over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: El Honcho has been ELIMINATED!
There’s a big cheer from the crowd – and plenty of whistling – as Grillo Jr. looks down at El Honcho for a moment… then turns and sees Squirrelly Nuttz coming right at him! SPINEBUSTER! Squirrelly is planted in the ring to a new cheer, and then Grillo is nearly taken out of his boots by another clothesline from Nuker!
JACK JONES: Incoming!
5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzt!
“Egypt” by Merciful Fate — number eight is PRINCE WADJETHOTEP, and he’s rushing the ring to the boos of the crowd!
BILL HEWSON: Squirrelly Nuttz just got a blessing from the sun god Ra! His tag team partner is in the match!
Haniel bothers to glance over his newspaper again as Prince Wadjethotep leaps to the apron, to the top rope, and then NAILS Nuker with a Corkscrew Moonsault!
JACK JONES: Wow!
Nuker is flattened, but Wadjethotep kips back up and turns to greet the feet of another prince, Andellion Moonwater! Wadjethotep goes down from the flying dropkick, but Squirrelly Nuttz is right there to avenge his tag team partner, dropping Moonwater with the Halfbreed Hammer! And now Grillo Jr. is there, unloading a chop and a kick into Nuttz… but Prince Wadjethotep is back up and behind Grillo! Devil Windmill Suplex! The Rock City Wrecking Crew is standing tall! Lambert Haniel sips his coffee and shoots them a quick wave, getting a glare in return. Nuker is still down on the canvas, and Moonwater is slowing starting to pull himself up on the ropes. Wadjethotep and Nuttz both reach down and pull back up a woozy looking Grillo Jr… KAYDEROSS KRUSH!
JACK JONES: And that cockroach has been SMASHED!
BILL HEWSON: It looks like the Rock City Wrecking Crew is using their tag team advantage to take control here.
As Grillo convulses in the ring, Squirrelly Nuttz and Prince Wadjethotep both begin to stomp on Nuker and Andellion Moonwater respectively. Won’t somebody save them? Lambert Haniel sure won’t!
5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzt!
“No evil under the blood-red sun,
Will escape the wrath of the Crimson One!”
“Triumph” by Audiomachine and CRIMSON MASK is here to save the day at number nine!
BILL HEWSON: It’s the Crimson Mask!
Wadjethotep and Nuttz both turn in time for Mask to springboard Plancha INTO THE RING! The Rock City Wrecking Crew is levelled and Crimson Mask kips up to a big cheer! Prince Wadjethotep is the first to scramble onto his feet and eats a JUSTICE PUNCH for his trouble! He drops like a stone with a crash! Squirrelly Nuttz is coming at him now but is met with the Crimson Combination which sends him careening into a corner! Mask strikes a heroic pose to a big cheer from the crowd, while Lambert Haniel sips on his coffee at ringside. He’s put his paper down. Prince Wadjethotep has risen back to one knee and looks up to get a KNEE OF JUSTICE to the kisser! He’s down again, and Crimson Mask is just on a tear! He starts motioning at Squirrelly Nuttz, indicating it’s time for the CRIMSON CATACLYSM…
And then THERE IS NO PEACE BUT WHAT CAN BE TAKEN!
BILL HEWSON: What the heck!?
Haniel drops Mask on his head with a brutal hammerlock German suplex! The Funky One starts stomping on the prone Crimson Mask to boos from the crowd. Nuker goes for the save with a running clothesline that Haniel ducks… for That Reversal Kick! Nuker goes back down! 5… Andellion Moonwater rushes him for an Aonyx Kick! 4… But Lambert ducks it, and responds with a throatchop that sends Moonwater to the canvas! 3… Haniel looks over his handy work as Grillo Jr. starts pulling himself back up. 2… The Time Travelling, Intergalactic Lord of All Funk and Love turns to look at the Rock City Wrecking Crew who’ve been able to regroup. There’s one tense second. 1…
“Keep A Good Man Down” by Thornley. DECLAN BLACK erupts from the curtains at number ten.
BILL HEWSON: The Rock City Wrecking Crew have their backup! I don’t envy Lambert Haniel, Jack Attack. He picked his spot… but it may have been a BAD SPOT to pick!
The Black Dragon slides into the ring and rushes over to Squirrelly Nuttz and Prince Wadjethotep. The trio all stare down Haniel as Moonwater, Nuker and Crimson Mask all try to rally. Grillo Jr. has pulled himself up in the corner finally, breathing hard…
And suddenly all four villains are attacking the four wounded heroes with punches and kicks! The crowd boos as Black, snarling, lays down kicks on Crimson Mask! Squirelly Nuttz is dropping elbow after elbow on Nuker! Lambert Haniel is in the corner stomping a mudhole into Grillo Jr.! Prince Wadjethotep is pummelling away at Prince Moonwater!
BILL HEWSON: WHAT IS HAPPENING!?
JACK JONES: Dominance, Hewson. Dominance is happening.
The boos get louder as Black and Haniel leave their victims laid out and meet in the middle of the ring. After a moment, Nuttz and Wadjethotep meet them. The Black Dragon’s face then splits into a smile and he extends a hand… which Lambert Haniel accepts.
BILL HEWSON: Declan Black has made a deal with a devil! Lambert Haniel, the Rock City Wrecking Crew and Declan Black are all on the same page!
JACK JONES: I told you Declan Black was going to win tonight, Hewson! I told you!
The crowd’s jeers and boos continue as Black points down at Crimson Mask. “Finish him, if you’d please.” Haniel smiles and replies “It would be my genuine pleasure.” Nuttz and Wadjethotep pull Crimson Mask up as Haniel backs up… and Locks Up the Universe Behind Him with a running kick that nearly takes Mask’s head off! Lambert then grabs Mask roughly from the duo and PITCHES him over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: Crimson Mask has been ELIMINATED!
Lambert laughs and dusts off his hands as Mask clutches his knee at ringside, wincing. In the ring, meantime, Wadjethotep and Nuttz pull Nuker up to his feet and push him up against the ropes. Declan Black gets a running start… and plants a Yakuza Kick on his kisser that sends the veteran over the ropes!
FRANK WARBURTON: Nuker has been ELIMINATED!
BILL HEWSON: No! No! Somebody stop them!
Haniel has plucked up Moonwater and, with a shout, he whips the prince at Squirrelly Nuttz. Nuttz catches the Crown Prince of Crystalwood across his shoulders, and Death Valley Drivers him RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Prince Andellion Moonwater has been ELIMINATED!
5… 4… 3… Grillo Jr. is alone in the ring, slumped in the corner, and four very bad men are all looking right at him. 2… They all rush him at once, laying in punches and kicks. 1! Bzzzzzt!
Rebel Meets Rebel and “Nothing to Lose!” BRYAN MARSHALL, one half of the Kentucky Hellbillies, is number 11! The crowd might ALMOST be cheering him, if only because someone needs to do SOMETHING!
BILL HEWSON: Can the big man tip the scales!
Marshall hits the ring only to be met by the Rock City Wrecking Crew. Nuttz and Wadjethotep both grapple him, and trio struggle back toward the ropes for a moment… then Marshall, with a roar, sends the tag team flying back from him! He turns, triumphantly… and eats a rolling back elbow from Lambert Haniel! He pitches backwards over the ropes!
FRANK WARBURTON: Bryan Marshall has been ELIMINATED!
BILL HEWSON: Oh good lord.
JACK JONES: It’s four on one for the rest of this match, Hewson! It’s game over!
BILL HEWSON: And we can only assume Nobody is part of this… this collusion as well.
Black laughs as he pulls Grillo Jr. to the middle of the ring. “Time to exterminate this bug-” Kick to the gizzards! PILEDRIVER! Declan Black goes splat and the crowd goes CRAZY! Lambert Haniel rushes Grillo… Scoop Slam! Grillo Jr. is getting fired up! He turns and greets Squirrelly Nuttz with a Spinebuster, and then spins around in time to throw a kick into Prince Wadjethotep’s midsection… catches him for a Fisherman’s Carry Drop ONTO Nuttz!
BILL HEWSON: Grillo Jr. is on fire! He’s taking on Black’s whole wretched crew!
Grillo Jr. pops back up to his feet, pulls a thrashing Nuttz to his feet, sets him up for the BUG BOMB…
And eats a Roaring Elbow from Declan Black. The crowd boos as Grillo slumps into Black’s grasp, and the Black Dragon runs him to the ropes…
BILL HEWSON: NO!
… and over.
FRANK WARBURTON: Grillo Jr. has been ELIMINATED!
JACK JONES: There’s just no fighting those odds, Hewson.
Declan Black is calling for a microphone over the boos and jeers of the crowd.
Declan Black: Thanks for coming out Grillo! New Alberta Proooooo Wrestling… welcome! The NEW Dynasty begins right now. There is no goddamn force on earth that can stop us. Sole Survivor is OURS.
He hands the mic to Haniel.
Lambert Haniel: Well said, Declan bruh, well said. We’ll understand if those of you still in the locker room quit tonight. But if you wish to display some… “courage.” Well. As the parlance goes, “bring it.”
Haniel perches on the top turnbuckle, stretching out as if it were a bed. Wadjethotep slithers. Nuttz stalks. Black laughs, muttering, come on, the crowd giving them holy hell… even as the clock starts ticking again. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzt!
Rammstein’s “Tu Quiero Puta” plays and THE MEXECUTIONER steps through the curtains.
BILL HEWSON: It’s the Mexecutioner!
JACK JONES: How appropriate!
Mexecutioner is wearing a red and black Mexican “Day of the Dead” themed luchadore outfit, complete with skeletal mask. Black bursts out laughing.
BILL HEWSON: A newcomer to NAPW here, this young man, known for his lightning speed and stunning aerial offense! He’s not the biggest man in the fight, but …
JACK JONES: But that’s not going to do him a hell of a lot of good against these four men!
Mexecutioner surveys the scene, then sprints to the ring! He slides in and immediately the jackals are upon him. Nuttz throwing wild blows, one connecting for every five, but that’s enough. Wadjethotep and Black join in. A sick headbutt from Nuttz connects, and then Prince Wadjethotep beales Mexecutioner over the top.
FRANK WARBURTON: The Mexecutioner has been eliminated!
JACK JONES: That’s… one way to make a debut.
BILL HEWSON: Mexecutioner ran right into the gaping maw of evil. Who has any chance against this unit?
JACK JONES: They’re going to keep coming one at a time, Hewson, nobody has a chance. The Dynasty got some luck of the draw but this is going to be academic until we get to the final four.
BILL HEWSON: Final five, I think…
Lambert’s on the microphone again.
Lambert Haniel: My, we certainly must admire his bravery. But there are no worthy heroes here who will stop us. Crimson Mask? Pathetic. Grillo Jr.? An insect. Andellion Moonwater? A joke. Nuker? A has been. And I shall just keep knocking them all down until you all LEARN.
Black applauds, smiling, and Lambert returns the smile.
Lambert Haniel: We have some time to kill, fellows. I did bring Pachinko…
The Dynasty are looking entirely too pleased with themselves. The crowd boo loudly as Haniel passes the mic back to Black. Nuttz rolls to the outside, under the bottom rope, and yanks a bag of popcorn from a small child, whose father rages. Nuttz dribbles popped kernel goodness into his mouth and throws the rest of the bag away.
Declan Black: All in good time, my man. So come on, NAPW… who’s next? Who wants a piece of the greatest faction going in wrestling today? Come on, don’t be SHY. We’ll take it easy on you… or you could just eliminate yourself! Step into the ring, and then right back out over the top rope! No one will think less of you for being smart enough to bow down to the Dynasty.
BILL HEWSON: Things are getting ugly here, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: Look, I agree Squirrelly Nuttz could probably take a shower, but that’s no reason to single the man out.
BILL HEWSON: … The Dynasty in full control of this match, and it’s almost time for number thirteen!
JACK JONES: Lucky number thirteen!
Declan Black: Come on down…
“We Are Young” by 30h!3! The crowd comes alive!
BILL HEWSON: Jaxon Queen with an unlucky draw, to say the least!
JAXON QUEEN steps through the curtains, staring down the ring. Black smirks, as the Dynasty array themselves in readiness. Haniel looks pleased to see Queen and asks for the mic from Black.
Lambert Haniel: Jaxon! My boy! I was hoping it would be you… I really do like hurting you Future Shock kids.
Queen steels himself, takes a deep breath. And takes off in a spring to the ring! Queen LEAPS up and slides in on his back! Squirrelly Nuttz in with stomps! Queen rolls out of the way of that brutal bare foot! Stomp, roll, stomp, roll, stomp, roll, Queen rolls backwards up to his feet and Wadjethotep is on him. Queen fighting! But the Rock City Wrecking Crew club away. Black in with a well-timed boot to the face!
JACK JONES: Nice try, kid! Maybe next year.
BILL HEWSON: He got a piece of them, but it’s four on one!
Haniel yells for them to throw Queen in his direction! The Lord of Funk takes a martial arts stance, apparently looking for his roundhouse kick. Double-whip sends Queen in at high velocity! THE INTERNAL MONOLOGUE OF A CAT — NO. Queen ducks the roundhouse, off the ropes, ducks a back elbow, DROPKICKS BOTH NUTTZ AND HOTEP! Black hooks him from behind with a full nelson, DRAGON SUPLEX, Queen flips all the way through and lands on his feet! Discus Lariat to Black! Queen kicks a rising Nuttz in the head, then charges a surprised Haniel!
BILL HEWSON: He’s fighting for his life!
JACK JONES: I admire his guts, but if he had half a brain he’d get the heck out of there, Hewson!
Queen nailing forearm shivers to Haniel, driving him into a corner! He throws a back elbow that catches Declan Black! Queen looking a YAKUZA KICK to Haniel, gets speed and HALFBREED HAMMER. Squirrelly Nuttz obliterates Queen!
JACK JONES: You can’t have eyes everywhere!
BILL HEWSON: Jaxon Queen fighting for all he’s worth against these four men, this…
JACK JONES: Dynasty, Hewson, we’re witnessing the birth of a DYNASTY tonight.
But that appears to be all for Queen. Black, no longer smirking, lays in a stiff right hand. They hold Queen as Haniel comes in. Lambert cups Jaxon’s head in his hands, the younger man shaking it away but he can’t move, being held by two other men. Haniel with a SLAP across the face. Queen’s eyes blaze, but Haniel headbutts him into a daze. They easily bundle Queen over to the top rope, putting him up and over. Queen tries desperately to hold on! He’s not making it easy for them, but…
BILL HEWSON: Queen desperately needs somebody friendly to come out next, IF he can hold on for a few seconds more!
5…4…3… Queen is edging ever closer to elimination… 2…1! Bzzzzzzt!
JACK JONES: Who turned out the lights?!
BILL HEWSON: After all these years, Jack… but… WAIT. Lights back on, and… IN THE RING.
JACK JONES: Oh my God. That’s not friendly AT ALL.
MASAKRE is number fourteen.
The fans react loudly, but more with fear than hatred. Certainly not love. The bruising, three-hundred pounder Masakre — IS IN THE RING.
And Squirrelly Nuttz is on him! Nuttz charges in all a-clubberin’… but Masakre shrugs off the blows! A sick headbutt stops Nuttz onslaught — BELLY-TO-BELLY suplex! Masakre roars — and suddenly Hotep is charging. SNAP POWERSLAM by Masakre! Black and Haniel still trying to put Queen over the top rope… but Black realizes the danger! He turns around, charges… and ducks around Masakre! Uppercut! Uppercut! Roaring elbow! Trying to daze the big man, Black with a YAKUZA KICK —
T-BONE SUPLEX BY MASAKRE INTO NUTTZ AND WADJETHOTEP!
And then Masakre turns his attention to…
Lambert Haniel. Who releases Queen and turns. Jaxon lands on the ring apron.
BILL HEWSON: For months now, LEGION and Those That Would Inflict Ill have had a simmering issue… but… they haven’t truly come in contact with each other!
JACK JONES: I think that changes now. Also, this encounter could split the Earth. Like Gods battling in the cosmos.
The fans, if you can believe it, are actually excited and cheering. Mainly because as much as they’re scared of Masakre, they HATE Lambert Haniel. And they HATE the Dynasty! Haniel suddenly grins, but it’s the grin of Ol’ Scratch, the devil behind the smile. He and a snarling Masakre circle, and then they collide!
JACK JONES: HERE WE GO!
But wait! Haniel drops down to his back and Masakre steps right over him. Haniel pops up in the opposite corner, Masakre turning in anger, and then suddenly Squirrelly Nuttz nails him from behind! Masakre caught by surprise, but he’s still standing. He turns and grabs Nuttz, only for Wadjethotep to nail a flipping dropkick. Haniel out of the corner — leg lariat! That puts Masakre on the ropes, and suddenly all three men are trying to put the big man out. Declan Black has Jaxon Queen on the other ropes, trying to put the man out again! The Dynasty trying to regain their advantage and space…
JACK JONES: They’ve survived, but that’s ALL they’ve done, Masakre and Jaxon Queen!
BILL HEWSON: An unlikely pairing to be sure, but of anybody in NAPW, we know Masakre truly hates Lambert Haniel! Unfortunately…
JACK JONES: Oh God. Bill. What if number fifteen is… NOBODY.
BILL HEWSON: Then it won’t be good for ANYbody.
Queen goes over, the crowd gasps, but he manages to land on the apron again and rolls back in. Black drops a knee on him! Masakre straining, shoves Haniel away, but Lambert comes right back as Nuttz and the Prince keep lifting…
JACK JONES: Not again!
BILL HEWSON: Wait a minute, this can only mean —
The lights flash back to life, and this time in the ring is… MATANZA.
BILL HEWSON: IT’S MATANZA! LEGION ARE BOTH IN THE MATCH!
Chop to the throat of Lambert Haniel by Matanza! Chop to the throat of Squirrelly Nuttz! Matanza wraps his arms around the waist of Wadjethotep… and GERMAN SUPLEXES the slithering serpent across the ring! Declan Black catches Matanza with an elbow! Black shoots Matanza into a corner, charges in… Jaxon Queen with a flying kick instead! Black turns, dazed, and Matanza clotheslines him FROM BEHIND!
BILL HEWSON: Did we just see TEAMWORK from Matanza and Jaxon Queen?
Queen, perhaps wisely, shuffles out of reach of Matanza. He doesn’t exactly trust these masked monsters and who can blame him? But Masakre has had time to recover now, and he and Matanza whip Squrrelly and Wadjethotep into one another… then charge both! CRUNCH.
BILL HEWSON: Wait just a damn minute! Lambert Haniel with a STEEL CHAIR to the back of Matanza! Come on!
JACK JONES: Well, he can’t be disqualified…
BILL HEWSON: The Dynasty can’t even let this be REMOTELY a fair fight!
Haniel with a shot to the back of Masakre! The grim gargoyle turns, peering angrily through the eye slits of his mask! Haniel looks slightly dumbfounded by the lack of response… so he switches it up, tossing the chair to Masakre! The masked beast catches it on instinct, and Haniel spinkicks it into his face, sending Masakre reeling into the ropes. The Dynasty all regroup, Declan Black with a knee trembler to the rising Matanza, and Wadjethotep nails a DDT on Jaxon Queen! And now it’s ROARING ELBOW time! Black nails Masakre! Nuttz with one! Black with a third, and Masakre finally sinks to his knees. Squirelly Nuttz with a BRUTAL running kick to the side of Matanza’s head. Queen is in a heap in one corner, Nuttz chokes Matanza on the canvas, all as Prince Wadjethotep and Black each grab a thick arm of Masakre. Haniel is in the corner, loading up that KNEE.
Red Jumpsuit Apparatus barely has time to play as COLTON STERLING RUSHES the ring at full speed!
BILL HEWSON: … Colton Sterling! The other half of Future Shock is number sixteen!
Sterling’s first target is Lambert Haniel, as he tackles the charging man down!
JACK JONES: Did Colton Sterling just SAVE Masakre from… that running knee!
BILL HEWSON: The Last Living Thing, that running knee to the side of the skull! And now Masakre shoving off Black and Hotep! Jack Attack — it’s evened up in here! It’s FOUR on FOUR!
JACK JONES: LEGION! Future Shock! Rock City Wrecking Crew! Lambert Haniel… and Declan Black! Wow!
The fans have come back to life! Maybe there’s a chance, finally, that someone can defeat these villains! Haniel with an eye gouge, tries to send Sterling over the top rope! Sterling swoops up and over the ropes, lands on the apron, shoulder thrust through the ropes. He leaps back in — Famouser on Haniel! The Space Lord staggers up, only to be hooked for the SHINING DIAMOND.
BILL HEWSON: Colton Sterling is the proverbial house of fire!
Masakre sends Declan Black into the corner — running big splash! Black crumples to the canvas, but Nuttz and Hotep jump on the man! Nuttz off the ropes with the LAWN DART — QUEEN WITH THE SINGLE LEG DROPKICK! NAILS NUTTZ MIDAIR! Masakre choking Haniel in a corner! Matanza with a foot to the throat of Declan Black!
BILL HEWSON: And FINALLY, the tables have turned!
JACK JONES: LOOK OUT!
BILL HEWSON: Bicycle kick from Colton Sterling to Prince Wadjethotep! Future Shock and LEGION — they’re overthrowing the Dynasty!
The crowd is going bananas as Sterling hooks Wadjethotep with a bulldog — INTO A QUEEN YAKUZA KICK! They call that the Jaw Shocker and Hotep flails. Future Shock exchange a glance, pick up Hotep to eliminate him… but Squirrelly Nuttz nails both from behind! Nuttz just raining wild blows in every direction on Future Shock. A headbutt rocks Sterling, and Nuttz picks up Queen! Death Valley Driver… but Queen counters out… and nails the CLOCK OUT! Backstabber connects! Future Shock separate, allowing Nuttz to rise in the center of the ring. Sterling and Queen go high-low on Nuttz with their “Shocked” combo!
JACK JONES: Oh man!! Did you HEAR that impact?
BILL HEWSON: They heard it in Red Deer, Jack Attack, and — Sterling sends Nuttz into Queen, BACK BODY DROP OVER THE ROPE ROPE! NUTTZ IS GONE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Squirrelly Nuttz has been ELIMINATED!
As Nuttz hits the ground outside the ring, the crowd comes unglued.
BILL HEWSON: The Dynasty is dropping! And wait a minute, Hotep from behind! Queen and Sterling over the top — but they hold on!
Prince Wadjethotep hissing at Future Shock… but what he doesn’t realize is that LEGION, who’ve left Black and Haniel crumpled in the corners, is standing right behind him. Matanza grabs the wrist, short-arm into an inverted Death Valley Driver! Good God! Masakre immediately hauls Wadjethotep up and delivers a Gargoyle suplex! The serpent looks to be out on his feet as LEGION pull him back up. Matanza points up and OUT, and Masakre obliges with a GORILLA PRESS! Matanza screams at Masakre, however, channeling the beast into a specific direction…
JACK JONES: Total Masakre! Ahh!
BILL HEWSON: … Prince Wadjethotep PRESSED ONTO SQUIRELLY NUTTZ! And you better BELIEVE both feet just hit the floor!
FRANK WARBURTON: Prince Wadjethotep has been ELIMINATED!
BILL HEWSON: The Dynasty has been cut in half… by the unlikely alliance of LEGION and Future Shock!
JACK JONES: That’s not good for my betting line! Get up, Black, I’ve got a lot riding on you!
BILL HEWSON: Does it feel like it’s been too long since another entrant?
JACK JONES: Naw, it’s just that a lot happened right now.
In the ring, Declan Black and Lambert Haniel have rolled to the center. They’re both up now, and with sudden awareness, realize that… they’re alone. On one side of the ring, Jaxon Queen! Colton Sterling! Queen talks some trash to Rock City on the outside before resetting inside.
On the other side of the ring stand two monstrous figures named Matanza and Masakre. LEGION.
Black and Haniel, at the same time, come to a similar conclusion:
They go back to back, the fans cheering wildly, as the clock starts ticking down. LEGION and Future Shock circle…
A Perfect Circle.
JACK JONES: HOLE. EE. HELL.
The fans gasp in shock and awe as “The Sleeping One,” NOBODY charges the ring at number seventeen. The features on her white mask impassive, at odds with the speed the seven-foot-tall woman moves! She steps to the apron and over the top rope and immediately Masakre and Matanza charge! Nobody with a big boot takes Matanza down. CHOKESLAM to Masakre! Future Shock are in next, and they double dropkick Nobody! Double kicks! Peppering her with speed! Future Shock sends Nobody back several steps, but she isn’t even sagging! Haniel and Black have both, well, ducked out of harm’s way. They don’t want to get caught in the crossfire.
BILL HEWSON: I can’t BELIEVE the luck of the Dynasty.
Sterling takes a chance, goes to the top… and connects with a missile dropkick! Jaxon leaps on Nobody’s back from the second turnbuckle, slapping on a sleeper hold for all he’s worth. Sterling charges in — and eats another boot from Nobody! She reaches up and SLAMS Queen on top of Sterling. Both members of Future Shock pulled up, Nobody wraps a hand around each man’s neck…
AND CHOKESLAMS BOTH STERLING AND QUEEN OVER THE TOP ROPE.
FRANK WARBURTON: Colton Sterling and Jaxon Queen have been ELIMINATED!
JACK JONES: The Sweet Fare-Thee-Well — times two!
BILL HEWSON: Nobody has hit this ring like a mortar blast, and just like THAT, Future Shock have been eliminated. Jaxon Queen came in, four on one, and held his own, they took the Dynasty down, helped eliminate the Rock City Wrecking Crew…
JACK JONES: Yeah, but the Dynasty were able to save their nuclear option for when it counted most.
BILL HEWSON: If you thought it looked bad for the rest of NAPW before, well…
Nobody has Masakre in the corner, ringpost foot choke. Haniel and Black trying to put Matanza over the top rope! The Dynasty once again in control, the fans booing heartily.
“Branded” by Hank III hits up, and out walks JOHN MITCHELL! The other half of the Kentucky Hellbillies.
BILL HEWSON: A big man coming into this contest, six-foot-five, Mitchell could make an impact right now, even with his tag team partner having already been eliminated.
John Mitchell ducks through the ropes, and…
BOOM! FLIES RIGHT OVER THE TOP ROPE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Uh… John Mitchell has been ELIMINATED!
JACK JONES: That was brief.
BILL HEWSON: Nobody coming out of the corner like an EXPLODING SUN! Things aren’t looking good for LEGION here, Jack Attack.
JACK JONES: Well, LEGION never look “good,” but… it’s three on two, and Nobody counts for like, what, three on her own?
And back in the ring, Matanza piefaces Black, shoving the Black Dragon off. Chop to the throat of Haniel again to cut the man off. Haniel sputters and coughs, and Matanza grabs him by the back of the head. Matanza goes to toss Haniel out of the ring! Haniel over the top rope, desperately grabbing the middle on his way down! He keeps his toes off the floor, barely, swaying. Before Matanza can finish the job, Nobody runs him down, sending him crashing to the ring. She then reaches down and grabs Haniel by the head, pulling him over the top rope, to safety. Black goes to pick Matanza’s bones behind her back, driving an elbow into the masked man’s head, and Haniel joins in with some stomps.
JACK JONES: There’s nothing like allies in a Sole Survivor match, Hewson. It’s price-MASAKRE!
Masakre shoots out of the corner, shaking off the cobwebs! He knocks Black and Haniel down, then turns to Nobody. She unloads a huge chop at him, but Masake swats the hand away! Masakre locks his arms around Nobody’s waist and drives her into the turnbuckle. Shoulder thrusts on the big woman! Repeated, brutal. Haniel and and Black are back up, they double-beale Matanza over the top rope!
BILL HEWSON: LEGION are no more…
JACK JONES: Good riddance, really, could you imagine one of those two winning – hey wait!
Referees Chan and Smythe, on either side of Matanza, and el luchador monstruo… is hanging on for dear life! ONE FOOT briefly touches the floor… but Smythe is waving it off frantically, as ONLY that one foot touches. Matanza swings back up on the apron and in. Black and Haniel both pounding on the back of Masakre…
TOOL! “SCHISM”! The Devine Army ERUPTS! It’s SAMMY DEVINE!
BILL HEWSON: The “Starmaker” at number nineteen!
Devine rushes the ring — DIVINE INTERVENTION to Declan Black! Haniel charges in, Sammy ducks around and nails a Sammy-Plex! Devine picks up Black and tosses him over the top rope! Black somehow hangs on and lands on the ring apron, but Devine is right on him, showing punches down on the Black Dragon.
JACK JONES: I’d say we’re back to three versus three but LEGION’s on no one’s side but their own, and Nobody is in a league of her own!
Speaking of whom, in the corner, Nobody is prying Masakre off of her, only for Matanza to charge in and hit an uppercut off of his partner. The smaller member of LEGION then pulls his partner off of Nobody. Matanza slaps Masakre in the face?! He barks an order. Nobody in the corner. Matanza whips his partner, reversed, Masakre sends Matanza crashing into Nobody! Masakre charges in with his own big splash!
JACK JONES: Nobody’s been able to take, uh, Nobody off of her feet — how can they eliminate her?
BILL HEWSON: Masakre and Matanza are trying just that right now! Jack, you have to believe, that as long as Nobody is in this match, the chances of anybody outside the Dynasty winning are slim indeed!
Haniel leaps onto the back of Masakre, wildly clawing and punching at the man. Nobody forcibly shoves Matanza away from her, then follows up with a shoulder tackle. Black goes for the eyes of Devine, now trying to put him over. Nobody trying to put Masakre over! Haniel has Matanza on the ropes!
JACK JONES: Just like that, Hewson, the Dynasty are taking control again!
“I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW
THAT I HAVE BECOME
The crowd ASPLODE!
BILL HEWSON: The Soviet Slaughterhouse HAS ARRIVED!
ANTON PETROV, without Jackson Kass tonight, rushes the ring with a grim expression on his face in the number twenty position. He slides into the ring and Declan Black has enough time to let his eyes bug out before Petrov Lou Thesz Presses him to the ground and starts raining punches on him! This may be the first time in NAPW history that Sammy Devine has looked RELIEVED to see Anton Petrov come out of nowhere.
JACK JONES: Hey Petrov! I have money riding on that guy! Lay off!
Devine shouts a warning to Petrov as Lambert Haniel abandons Matanza at the ropes and rushes the Soviet Slaughterhouse. Petrov is on his feet fast enough to nearly DECAPITATE Lambert with a short-arm clothesline. He then grabs Lambert’s arm and yanks him up… ANOTHER clothesline! It’s the Petrov Pulverizer… and HE JUST WON’T STOP! Four clotheslines! FIVE! NOBODY IS RUNNING RIGHT AT HIM… Petrov drops Haniel… SOVIET SUCKERPUNCH! Nobody pitches toward the ropes to a HUGE CHEER FROM THE CROWD! “The Sleeping One” catches herself before she can go over… and suddenly LEGION and Sammy Devine are on her, looking to get her up and over… but it’s no easy task, even for them. Petrov hauls a limp, dazed looking Lambert Haniel up and pitches him at the ropes, but he stops himself, too… Petrov gets a head of steam… and is tripped by Black! Petrov staggers to the ropes where Haniel bails out of the way, and then he curses in Russian.
5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Bzzzzt!
“The End is Where We Begin” and Thousand Foot Krutch herald the arrival of Blue Chip BLAKE TAYLOR at number twenty-one.
BILL HEWSON: Wait… is that the Earl of Dokken with him?
Indeed it is. The Earl holds the curtain open for Taylor and gives him some applause as he steps out onto the stage and takes a moment to survey the scene. No reason to hurry into the ring, right? The Earl retreats back through the curtain as Taylor begins sauntering to the ring.
JACK JONES: Here’s a guy who really doesn’t have a stake in what’s going on the ring, Hewson. I wonder what he’ll do?
Taylor climbs into the ring even as Nobody sends LEGION and Devine scattering to the wind. On the other side of the ring, Black and Haniel are trying to leverage Petrov over the top, but the Soviet Slaughterhouse isn’t budging. Taylor takes one look at Nobody… then joins Black and Haniel working on Petrov.
JACK JONES: Good choice!
BILL HEWSON: I’d call that cowardly – but under the circumstances it may have been the smartest move in the game!
Nobody, meantime, reaches down and grabs Masakre, pulling him to his feet… and eats a headbutt for her trouble! It doesn’t seem to have much effect, so he nails her again! This time her head actually moves, so he hits her AGAIN! GRIM FACADE!
JACK JONES: Masakre just took Nobody OFF OF HER FEET!
Nobody is planted in the ring with a huge CRASH and an eruption from the crowd! Lambert Haniel drops Petrov’s leg, eyes wide… a look of anger crossing his face. Matanza points down at Nobody, then climbs up to the top turnbuckle! He’s motioning for the Machete! Masakre pulls her up on wobbly legs… and Lambert Haniel hits the corner with fists a-flying! Matanza teeters on the top… and then plummets to ringside!
FRANK WARBURTON: Matanza has been ELIMINATED!
Masakre bellows at Haniel in rage, and that gives Nobody the opportunity to shove him away! He staggers backward to the ropes… and Nobody follows it with a running lariat! AND MASAKRE DOESN’T EVEN BUDGE. Nobody might not have an expression – but her body language is that of a woman who wasn’t expecting that!
BILL HEWSON: It’s a HOSS OFF!
Haniel moves to help Nobody eliminate Masakre, while Sammy Devine grabs Blake Taylor from behind and starts trading blows with the Blue Chipper. That gives Petrov the opening he needs to finally shake off Declan Black. And time is once again ticking down.
5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzt!
Danzig! “777” and PYTHON is number twenty-two!
BILL HEWSON: SNAAAAAAAKE!
The enormous Python lumbers to the ring and starts climbing in just as Anton Petrov levels Black with an STO. Black rolls away from Petrov who turns to see Python coming over the top rope, eyes on him. Anton smirks.
And Python teeters backward… and right back over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: Python has been ELIMINATED!
JACK JONES: Well, that was quick.
BILL HEWSON: There’s still a lot of action to follow in the ring…
Blake Taylor has managed to get some advantage on Sammy Devine, getting the Starmaker backed into a different corner and stunning him with a chop. He backs off and NAILS his High Running Kick, and Devine slumps down. Blake turns around to see Declan Black pulling himself up in the opposite corner… so he NAILS his High Running Kick on him too! The Black Dragon topples forward. Masakre manages to bounce Haniel’s head off the rope, and then SHOVE Nobody back a few faces to give himself some breathing room. Nobody reaches down and quickly hauls Lambert back to his feet as Masakre backs into a corner.
JACK JONES: It looks like the Blue Chipper isn’t picking a side in there after all!
Petrov turns in time to see Blake Taylor eyeing Masakre in a third corner… and charges at him! But Taylor sees him coming and ducks aside! Petrov stops himself and spins around only to get grabbed by the arm! Taylor whips him at the corner… but Petrov reverses, sending Blake into the corner instead! The Blue Chipper bounces off the turnbuckles, staggering forward… into a POWERSLAM with authority from the Soviet Slaughterhouse as the clock starts ticking again.
BILL HEWSON: Problem with not picking a side, is that you can end up without any friends at all!
5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzt!
The booming pipe organ of “Saint-Saens’ Symphony Number 3” blares over the speakers and the fans start to boo!
JACK JONES: Something about having no friends in the ring, Hewson?
The Earl of Dokken again steps out from the curtain, and holds it open for CLANCY KING, number twenty-three, who’s shrugging off his ermine robe and rushing the ring! Petrov meantime, turns around in time to eat a Lariat from King, who then reaches down and helps Blake Taylor to his feet. The two men exchange smirking nods as the Earl of Dokken takes up a position at ringside – and then they both go to work stomping on Declan Black in the corner!
BILL HEWSON: I guess the royals might not be too happy with the Dynasty?
JACK JONES: What can I say? King was looking to bring together a dominant faction and Black totally stole his thunder!
Nobody, Haniel in hand, HURLS him at Masakre in the corner, and the beast slumps there as Lambert rolls to his feet. The Lord of Funk then notices that Black is in danger, and he and Nobody quickly rush over to pry King and Taylor off of Declan, leaving Masakre alone in his corner. Surprisingly perhaps, the beast is keeping his cool even without Matanza in the ring – and with a deliberate and methodical slowness he pulls himself out of the corner… moves to the middle of the ring… and squares up on the the cluster around Black.
JACK JONES: Wait… what’s he…
RUNNING BIG SPLASH! Nobody, Lambert Haniel, Blake Taylor, Clancy King and Declan Black become a human sandwich to a surprising cheer from the crowd! Nobody staggers back and sags against the top rope, shaking her head. Lambert pitches backward onto the ring with Clancy King falling on top of him. Blake Taylor actually rolls out under the bottom rope and just lays there in a heap, the Earl of Dokken rushing over to check on him. Declan Black – who probably ate the worst of the attack as he was actually in the corner – just hangs there limp, eyes glassy.
BILL HEWSON: Masakre is a beast, Jack Attack. That was over THREE-HUNDRED POUNDS of unstoppable force crashing into that corner!
Masakre doesn’t waste any time, he grabs Nobody’s legs and starts trying to pitch her back over. Devine has shaken off the stars enough that he runs over to help – but Petrov has eyes only for Declan Black. He rushes into the corner with a shoulder strike, then grabs the ropes and keeps plowing his shoulder into the Black Dragon’s midsection. The clock starts ticking back down…
5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzt!
“HERE WE ARE! BORN TO BE KINGS!
WE’RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE!”
BILL HEWSON: Lionheart is in the house!
KRIS JACOBSON at number twenty-four! The crowd cheers as Jacobson storms the ring with a Missle Dropkick on a woozy Lambert Haniel who’s just retaken his feet! Lambert staggers back all the way to the ropes! He tips over the top…
But lands on the apron and rolls back in!
JACK JONES: That was a close one!
BILL HEWSON: Lambert Haniel came out at number six, Jack Attack. He may have relaxed at ringside to start the match – but he’s been out here the longest, and he must be getting worn down.
Jacobson is still on fire! Clancy King has risen and turns around into a leaping Hurricanrana! King goes splat, and Jacobson runs over to get in on trying to eliminate Nobody. In the corner, Petrov grabs Declan Black by the head and pulls him to the middle of the ring… and gets a thumb in his eye! The Soviet Slaughterhouse recoils angrily, and Black follows it with a wild European Uppercut… and a Snap Suplex! Petrov crashes to the ring and Black staggers to one knee, winded. He, too, has been in the match for a while. Over on the other side of the ring, Blake Taylor pops up on the apron behind Nobody and grabs her head, trying to help leverage her out. Black sees this and quickly helps up Lambert Haniel so the duo can go over and save her! Laughing Haniel separates Sammy Devine from the pack with a Trinity Site New Mexico that puts the Starmaker down in the middle of the ring. Black lays out Kris Jacobson with a Hangman’s Neckbreaker! Suddenly, Masakre and Blake Taylor are the only people on Nobody! She shakes loose Taylor and sends Masakre staggering backward with a huge shove! The clock is ticking again!
5… 4… Black and Haniel both grapple Masakre, while the beast struggles against them. 3… 2… Nobody stalks over and grabs him too… 1! Bzzzt!
“Party Hard” and Andrew WK!
JACK JONES: What the…
MYSTIC NINJA, flanked by the EXPOSITIONER, erupts from the curtains to a BIG CHEER from the crowd! Expo has a microphone!
Expositioner: Mystic Ninja is NUMBER TWENTY-FIVE and it’s PARTY TIIIIIIIIIIME!
BILL HEWSON: It’s four time NAPW Tag Team Champions MYSTIC EXPOSITION!
The crowd is roaring as Mystic Ninja flies down the ramp and quickly climbs to the top turnbuckle! SHURIKEN PRESS! The Shooting Star Senton lands square on the cluster around Masakre and EVERYONE goes down to a huge cheer! Expositioner has rushed down to the commentary table.
EXPOSITIONER: Gentlemen, it’s a pleasure to be at an NAPW event once again!
BILL HEWSON: How have you been Expo?
EXPOSITIONER: Better than those guys in the ring! That’s for sure! Mystic Ninja has retaken his feet and is mugging for the crowd while Clancy King pulls himself up in the corner. Ninja jumps back into the opposite corner and up to the top turnbuckle- a dangerous risk in an over-the-top-rope situation – runs the ropes… and it’s the Shadow Missile in the corner on King! Just listen to the crowd go wild!
JACK JONES: Right. Now I remember what it’s like having Mystic Exposition around.
EXPOSITIONER: Mystic Ninja’s arrival has shifted the momentum in the ring. Anton Petrov has pulled Declan Black up and driven him into the corner, where he’s trying to work him over the top. Kris Jacobson and Sammy Devine have pulled up Nobody… OH! And she nails them with a double clothesline that levels them both! Not so much luck for Lambert Haniel. Masakre has the Lord of Funk in his grasp and HURLS him across the ring with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex! Haniel crashes into a corner! Nobody angrily storms over to Masakre and the two begin exchanging blows with each other! It’s a battle of the titans! Clancy King with an eye-rake to Mystic Ninja! Ninja reels and King hits him with a big Bulldog! Bad news for my team-mate!
JACK JONES: Then go help him and STOP TALKING!
EXPOSITIONER: The clock is once again ticking! Let’s count along with the crowd! 5… 4… 3… 2… 1!
Flatts & Scruggs and “The Beverly Hillbillies!” It’s CUZIN EDDIE!
EXPOSITIONER: Lots of love in this crowd for number twenty-six! Cuzin Eddie rushes down the ramp even as Clancy King gets Mystic Ninja back to his feet… Mystic Cyclone! Clancy King is down once again! Nobody has Masakre backed up against the ropes, and the two are grappling for their lives, each trying to eliminate the other! Mystic Ninja again leaps up to the top turnbuckle… and Blake Taylor is up on the apron grabbing his leg! OH NO!
Frank Warburton: Mystic Ninja has been ELIMINATED!
EXPOSITIONER: Well… I guess that’s it for me gents! It’s been a blast!
JACK JONES: Finally!
Expositioner heads over and helps up Mystic Ninja as Blake Taylor climbs back into the ring and checks on Clancy King. Ninja gets up, looking fine, and shrugs to Expositioner. They start high-fiving the crowd as they make their way to the back.
BILL HEWSON: Say what you will, but the crowd still loves those two.
JACK JONES: GOOD RIDDANCE!
King is nodding to Taylor in the corner, then his eyes bug out and he ducks aside as Cuzin Eddie lands a Football Tackle on Blake Taylor! King doesn’t let Eddie enjoy it for long, unloading a European Uppercut that staggers the fan favourite… but then Eddie comes right back at him with a bit Elbow Smash! King goes down, and now its Blake Taylor rushing him only to eat a Double Axehandle Chop that drops him! The crowd cheers! Elsewhere in the ring, Lambert Haniel has pulled Anton Petrov away from Black, giving Declan a chance to rescue himself at the last second. He and Haniel then start double-teaming Petrov, bouncing him back and forth with punches, but then Sammy Devine and Kris Jacobson jump them! Devine levels Declan Black with a Spinning Heel Kick, while Jacobson plants a Flying Forearm Smash on Lambert Haniel! There’s the clock!
5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzzzt!
“Ningen Gari” and Seikima-Il! VIPER TOKARA is stalking snake-like toward the ring to boos from the crowd!
JACK JONES: Sad news for Viper, Python’s already out of the match!
BILL HEWSON: You should still never trust a snake, Jack Attack.
Tokara slithers into the ring and immediately lays into Sammy Devine! Devine reels as Viper unloads with the Coachwhip – a series of withering blows completed with a roundhouse kick to the head! Devine staggers to the side as Viper reels back… POISON FOG! But NO! Devine ducks under the cloud… DEVINE INTERVENTION! Viper Tokara is sent sprawling back over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: Viper Tokara has been ELIMINATED!
BILL HEWSON: Ooh! Just bad luck for the Order of Orochi tonight.
JACK JONES: Three entrants to go, Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: We know the Old Lion, Chase Jacobson is one of them… but one of them is a mystery… and we still don’t know what’s up with the number thirty spot!
Sammy Devine waves goodbye to Tokara, then suddenly is scooped up into a Dragon Suplex by Declan Black! Devine crashes back onto the ring, and Black is just on him with angry stomps. Anton Petrov and Kris Jacobson both have Lambert Haniel up against the ropes, and are working to try to get him over. Nobody, still tied up with Masakre, sees this. With a burst of energy, she whips Masakre to the far ropes, narrowly missing Cuzin Eddie and Blake Taylor who both bail in opposite directions! Masakre catches himself – and Nobody grabs Kris and Petrov from behind, slamming their heads together! They both stagger back, and Nobody helps Lambert back up. He smiles at her and pats her hand, as the clock starts ticking.
5… 4… 3… 2… 1! Bzzzt!
BILL HEWSON: It can’t…
Disturbed, “Down With The Sickness,” and THE PLAGUE is number twenty-eight.
JACK JONES: It’s The Plague, Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: The FIRST EVER NAPW Champion is here!
The fans don’t have fond remembrances of Plague, and they boo him heartily as he runs out from the back all goat-faced, and slides right into the ring. The first person he happens to lay his hands on is Kris Jacobson, and Lionheart is locked into a double underhook and Plague just starts unloading knee strikes into his head! He then whips Jacobson at the ropes – but Kris catches himself before he can go over. Plague doesn’t stop, catching hold of Lambert Haniel and planting him with a Spinebuster! Nobody instantly reacts, laying into Plague and driving him into the corner as Haniel quickly pulls himself up to his feet… and is SENT OVER THE ROPES by a charging Soviet Slaughterhouse!
BILL HEWSON: Haniel’s out!
JACK JONES: You WISH, Hewson!
Indeed, Lambert JUST manages to land on the apron. Petrov grabs the ropes and tries to push Haniel off… and suddenly PETROV is the one going over the ropes!
FRANK WARBURTON: Anton Petrov has been ELIMINATED!
The Soviet Slaughterhouse sits at ringside, looking dumbstruck. The fans are booing Declan Black, who hangs over the rope he just tipped Petrov over, laughing. He waves Anton goodbye. The fans are stunned, booing like mad.
BILL HEWSON: The odds-on favorite is out of Sole Survivor! Declan Black sneaking up behind the former NAPW Champion and eliminating him from the match!
JACK JONES: You can’t take your eyes off of anyone in this kind of a match, Hewson!
Sammy Devine seems to be back into things, and is helping Cuzin Eddie fend off the duo of Clancy King and Blake Taylor. Kris Jacobson is down in a corner. Nobody is choking Plague in the corner with her foot, then scoops him up and SLAMS him into the middle of the ring with authority. Lambert Haniel sees this and rushes for the ropes as the clock starts ticking. 5… 4… Haniel springboards off the rope… ACTS 17:26 ON PLAGUE…
Or it would be if Masakre hadn’t caught him in mid-air.
Lambert Haniel is ejected from the ring with a Gorilla Press Slam over the ropes.
FRANK WARBURTON: Lambert Haniel has been ELIMINATED!
The fans are cheering for so many reasons as “Old Man” by Neil Young hits the speakers even as Lambert Haniel angrily scrambles to his feet and starts tipping over chairs at ringside. As Nobody lays into Masakre angrily, CHASE JACOBSON emerges from the curtain at number twenty-nine,
JACK JONES: All hell is breaking loose!
Masakre starts laying right back into Nobody. He backs her up to the ropes with a savage series of headbutts just as Chase Jacobson hits the ring, dropkicking Declan Black who was stomping on Kris in the corner! Masakre has Nobody wobbling against the ropes, the fans are cheering mightily… and suddenly Haniel is up on the apron with…
BILL HEWSON: HIS CUP OF COFFEE!?
And he splashes it right in Masakre’s masked face! Masakre gives an enraged bellow and recoils, and that’s all Nobody needs to grab him, get him across her shoulders, and over the top rope!
FRANK WARBURTON: Masakre has been ELIMINATED!
BILL HEWSON: Masakre may have been on the cusp of eliminating both members of Those That Inflict Ill – but that damned Lambert Haniel just couldn’t resist a parting cheap shop, could he?
JACK JONES: It’s all fair in Sole Survivor, Hewson. But I admit… the Dynasty is down to two members in the ring. Even if one of them is Nobody.
And she’s glaring down at Masakre at ringside. Haniel gives his “Sleeping One” a quick kiss on the mask before he’s ushered away from ringside by Moose. In the ring, Chase Jacobson has teamed up with his son, and the duo are working to get Black pried off the bottom rope, which he’s clinging to, shaking his head “NO.” Plague has rolled to a neutral corner to take a moment to recover. King and Taylor have managed to get Devine down in a corner, and have Cuzin Eddie in danger of elimination. He’s clinging to the ropes, making it hard for them to eject him – and then Sammy Devine is on the top rope! FALLING STARS BABY! King and Taylor are both sent sprawling, giving Eddie a chance to fall to the apron and roll back into the ring. Devine kips up to a huge cheer even as the clock starts the countdown for the final time tonight!
5… 4… 3… 2… 1!
BILL HEWSON: Who took the number thirty spot!?
“Born on the Bayou.”
BILL HEWSON: Wait just a damned minute!
BRUISER BRETON saunters out of the back, cast on his arm, Heritage belt slung over his shoulder, all smiles. The crowd instantly turns on him, booing for all they’re worth. Sammy Devine stops dead in the ring, glaring a hole into Breton as he makes his way to the ring.
BILL HEWSON: What the HELL!? Breton said he wasn’t medically cleared to wrestle tonight!
JACK JONES: I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sammy Devine so angry, Hewson!
Devine is enraged, shouting at Breton to bring it. Breton laughs, drops the belt at ringside, and climbs up to the ring apron… and Devine FLIES at him with Stars In Your Eyes! Breton ducks, yanking down the ropes as he goes… and Sammy gets tangled up, hanging there awkwardly! Breton laughs, brings that cast down on Sammy’s head – and it’s lights out for Devine. Breton shakes the ropes and Sammy spills to ringside to BOOS!
FRANK WARBURTON: Sammy Devine has been ELIMINATED!
BILL HEWSON: Of all the unfair, low-down, dirty…
JACK JONES: What? You’re going to blame Bruiser Breton for taking the CHANCE OF A LIFETIME and using Greta’s discarded number thirty spot?
BILL HEWSON: Chance of a — Come on! Breton just can’t resist tormenting Sammy Devine, can he?
Breton laughs down at Devine, then climbs into the ring, turns, and eats an Elbow Smash from Cuzin Eddie. Breton boggles, staggers… and Eddie clotheslines him over the ropes to a HUGE CHEER from the crowd!
FRANK WARBURTON: Bruiser Breton has been ELIMINATED!
BILL HEWSON: How’s THAT for instant karma!
Breton crashes to ringside. Right beside Sammy Devine. Devine leaps on him to cheers and starts raining down punches. Breton tries to cover up and shouts for the referees to help. Moose and Chan both pull Sammy off of him as the crowd chants “LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!” Eddie shouts something down at the pair… and then HE’S going over the ropes!
JACK JONES: Heads up!
FRANK WARBURTON: Cuzin Eddie has been ELIMINATED!
Clancy King dusts off his hands, smirking, and gives Blake Taylor a high-five. The royal jackals picked their spot well it seems. Eddie and Devine commiserate while Breton’s arm is checked by his doctor, who has run out from backstage. In the ring, Nobody has made a save on Declan Black, hauling Chase Jacobson off of him, and laying into Kris. The Black Dragon doesn’t get any respite, though, because the Plague is right on him. King points to Chase Jacobson, and Blake Taylor smirks and nods.
BILL HEWSON: They’re going to double-team a man in his fifties. How sporting.
JACK JONES: Chase Jacobson knew what he was getting into when he stepped in the ring tonight, Hewson.
Taylor looms up behind the Lion, grabs him from behind… Inverted DDT! Chase cries out in pain and collapses to the ring. Kris tries to power past Nobody to save his dad, but she catches him and shoves him back into the corner hard. Taylor, smirking, pulls Chase up by the hair, calling to King… and suddenly Chase has him in a Drop Toehold! With a shout of surprise, Blake goes down, landing chest-first across the top rope! Clancy King charges at Chase to make the save, but the old man catches him… Tilt-a-Whirl BACKBREAKER! King goes down and Chase grabs Taylor’s legs! The Earl of Dokken runs over, crying foul – and the Blue Chipper is sent crashing to ringside beside him!
FRANK WARBURTON: Blake Taylor has been ELIMINATED!
The fans cheer, and a “YOU’VE STILL GOT IT!” chant starts up. Chase smiles and waves to the crowd, then points to King who’s slowly retaking his feet, and points into the rafters. The fans cheer again and Jacobson reaches down… and is slugged across the back by the Plague!
BILL HEWSON: That damned Plague is an even bigger opportunist than Clancy King!
The cheers turn to boos as Plague hooks his arms… BLACK DEATH II! Kris Jacobson struggles against Nobody’s impossible grip, trying to get leverage against the corner turnbuckles as Plague hauls a limp Chase Jacobson back up.
Nobody makes the “Lionheart” watch… as Plague beales Chase over the top rope.
FRANK WARBURTON: Chase Jacobson has been ELIMINATED!
Plague hits an angry pose and shouts “There is no ANTIDOTE, VACCINATION or QUARANTINE that can stop THE PLAGUE!” And just like that, with a burst of white-hot BABYFACE FIRE, Kris Jacobson nails a jawbreaker on Nobody! He nimbly scales up the turnbuckle, LEAP FROGS OVER HER… and MISSILE DROPKICKS THE EVERLOVING HELL OUT OF PLAGUE! The fans cheer as Plague is sent forward over the ropes and crashes to ringside!
FRANK WARBURTON: The Plague has been ELIMINATED!
BILL HEWSON: Ladies and gentlemen… four competitors left in the ring.
One of them will be the last man – or woman – standing in the ring.
The room is electric. The fans are buzzing.
Kris Jacobson rolls to a neutral corner, breathing hard. Clancy King has pulled himself up using the ropes and walks to another corner, eyes on everyone. Declan Black is back up and walks over to Nobody. He looks up at her and she glances down at him. He smirks. He’s still holding a winning hand.
JACK JONES: Declan Black was my choice to win and it doesn’t even matter that he came in at number ten, Hewson. The Dynasty still has Nobody in the ring, and that’s all they need.
BILL HEWSON: I hate to say it, but you may be right.
And Clancy King and Kris Jacobson both know it. King shoots at glance at Jacobson, and in that split second and alliance is formed. They both charge. Black backs off, laughing, and Nobody lays into the two men. King is taken off his feet with a lariat, and then Nobody turns and catches Jacobson by the throat! She goes to CHOKESLAM him… but King is back on his feet and unloads THE DIVINE RIGHT! Nobody staggers, spins, dropping Jacobson, who rears back… SUPERKICK! King again — ROARING ELBOW! ANOTHER SUPERKICK! Nobody — IS STAGGERING! The crowd EXPLODES as Nobody tips backward across Clancy King’s waiting shoulders.
JACK JONES: WHAT IS HAPPENING!?
Declan Black is literally stunned in the corner, but not half as stunned as Clancy King because Nobody is already rising, slowly, to her feet… AND KRIS JACOBSON IS COMING OFF THE TOP ROPE!
BILL HEWSON: WINNER’S CIRCLE!
Nobody flips onto her back with the impact and just stops, laying there in a heap. She might be dead. Jacobson springs to his feet as Declan Black comes UNGLUED in the corner and charges at the two men. He FLATTENS King with a Roaring Elbow, and then lays into Jacobson with a sweet European Uppercut… and Jacobson replies with one of his own! Black! Jacobson! Black! Jacobson! Black! Jacobson! BOO! YAY! BOO! YAY! BooooOOOOOO! YaaaaaaaaYYYYYYYY! YAY! YAY! YAY! Jacobson! JACOBSON! Declan Black is sent reeling into the ropes! The crowd is on its feet! Jacobson goes low and grabs Black’s leg, tipping him over the top rope!
And Clancy King is sending Jacobson over the top right behind him!
BILL HEWSON: NO!
JACK JONES: NO!
The fans boo as both men land awkwardly on the apron, and Jacobson is right through the ropes in a second and up in Clancy King’s face, shoving him, shouting “What the hell!?” Black is rolling back into the ring as King shrugs and smirks. “Every man for himself, Kris.” Kris sighs… pushing past King… then SUPERKICKS Clancy right in the royal kisser! King reels backward, arms pinwheeling – and Declan Black is pulling that bridge low!
FRANK WARBURTON: Clancy King has been ELIMINATED!
BILL HEWSON: Who got that elimination? Was it Black? Did Black eliminate TWO former NAPW World Champions tonight?
JACK JONES: He’s going to do a hell of a lot more than that, Hewson. He’s about to have his name engraved on a shiny bronze shield.
The Earl of Dokken goes to check on King at ringside while Black rises to his feet, smiling. Jacobson backs off of him a bit. Both men look like hell. And suddenly they’re grappling in the middle of the ring. They jockey for position, and Black takes control with an eyerake before dropping Jacobson with a Hangman’s Neckbreaker. Kris crashes to the canvas, clutching his head and kicking his legs. Black reaches down and pulls Jacobson back up as the crowd boos him. He smirks, and then sends Jacobson skipping across the ring with an Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex. Jacobson writhes, and reaches out to grab the ropes. Black laughs over the boos of the crowd, stalking over to Kris. “Sorry little Lionheart. NAPW belongs to the Dynasty now. This is MY TIME.” He pulls a wobbly Kris Jacobson to his feet, locks the wrist… BLACKOUT…
Black’s eyes bug OUT as he eats a desperate, flailing Spinning Heel Kick! He staggers, and Kris Jacobson grabs him like his life depends on it… WINNIPEG DESTROYER!
JACK JONES: HOLEEEEEEE HELL!
Black pops up like he’s spring loaded and Kris Jacobson surges forward with a last burst of energy and sends him OVER THE TOP ROPE! THE CROWD IS ON IT’S FEET!
JACK JONES: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
FRANK WARBURTON: Declan Black has been ELIMINATED!
The noise is deafening.
Kris Jacobson hangs across the second rope, gasping for breath, covered in sweat. At ringside, Declan Black, seated against the ring barrier, slowly realizes what’s happened. His face contorts in rage and he starts slamming his hands into the floor. Morgan Smythe and Stewie Lamoine both move to get him away from ringside, but that doesn’t stop him from levelling a finger at Jacobson. “You’re dead, Lionheart. You’re a dead man.”
BILL HEWSON: The Black Dragon may have been vanquished by Kris Jacobson tonight… but I can’t help but wonder if Jacobson just started a war he can’t win.
JACK JONES: Declan’s feet didn’t both touch the ground… did they? Oh man, I’m going to have to mortgage my house. He was a sure bet, Hewson!
Jacobson watches Black go and slowly pulls himself up on the ropes. He turns…
And Nobody sits up.
BILL HEWSON: Oh…
JACK JONES: OH.
Screams erupt from the crowd and Kris visibly gulps as Nobody rises to her feet. Jacobson pushes himself off the ropes and retakes his feet, searching for whatever gas is left in the tank after that explosive offensive burst on Black. Nobody looks fresh as a daisy. She stalks toward him menacingly and Jacobson dances away, trying to keep some distance between them as he catches his wind. She’s right on his tail, reaching for him – and he ducks under her attempt to grab him and hits the far ropes!
JACK JONES: It’s cat-and-mouse, Hewson!
She spins around in time for Kris Jacobson to leap up at her – HURRICANRANA! And she just drops it into a POWERBOMB instead. The ring SHAKES from the impact. The crowd groans and boos.
BILL HEWSON: That was NOT what Jacobson had in mind.
JACK JONES: She only needs to hit you once, Hewson. TRUST ME.
Jacobson is a smear on the canvas. Nobody grabs him by his hair and DRAGS him to the ropes. The fans continue to boo as she hauls him up to his feet… and grabs him by the neck.
JACK JONES: Sweet Fare-Thee-Well, Jacobson.
BILL HEWSON: After so much fire. So much spirit. Jacobson gave it his all, but it looks like Nobody is just too much for anybody.
It’s academic folks.
Nobody with the chokeslam over the top rope.
And Kris Jacobson catches her head with his legs.
Nobody pitches headfirst to ringside.
Jacobson, King of the Hurricanrana, lands on the apron.
FRANK WARBURTON: Nobody has been ELIMINATED!
JACK JONES: WHAT!?
The crowd is ON ITS FEET! They’re BLOWING OFF THE ROOF!
FRANK WARBURTON: Here is your winner and the 2014 SOLE SURVIVOR! LIONHEART! KRISSSSSSSSSSSS! JACOBSONNNNNNNNN!
“HERE WE ARE! BORN TO BE KINGS!
WE’RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE!”
Confetti starts raining from the sky as Nobody slowly stalks off. Is she upset? Disappointed? We may never truly know.
BILL HEWSON: I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE IT! KRIS JACOBSON BEAT THE ODDS! He was denied at Canada Cup! He came up short last month against Petrov! But tonight? Tonight HE’S THE SOLE SURVIVOR!
Kris Jacobson has rolled into the ring and is just lying there, spent, breathing hard. Then, suddenly, his dad, Chase Jacobson, is back in the ring, embracing him, tears in his eyes. Kris smiles and lets his dad help him up as Future Shock hit the ring, followed by Cuzin Eddie, Grillo Jr. and Sammy Devine. Jaxon and Sterling haul Jacobson up on their shoulders as the others all offer him slaps on the back and congratulations. Even Anton Petrov has stepped out onto the stage. He gives a brief nod, then turns and heads to the back.
BILL HEWSON: That’s good sportsmanship, Jack Attack. They all may be disappointed they lost, but that doesn’t mean they don’t respect Kris Jacobson’s victory.
JACK JONES: I’d respect it a hell of a lot more if it didn’t just cost me. But I’ll hand it to the kid – he dug down deep and found what it took to win.
Terry Brandon and Jake Phoenix come down the ramp. Brandon is smiling a million dollar smile, carrying a briefcase. Jake has a bronze shield in hand, engraved with the names of the former Sole Survivors. They climb up into the ring, as Future Shock let Jacobson down and and Terry immediately takes Kris’ hand and gives it a firm shake. He then hands over the briefcase with its $10,000 purse, and Jake Phoenix hands him the shield. The crowd cheers again as Kris Jacobson raises the bronze shield over his head.
“LION-HEART! LION-HEART! LION-HEART!”
Six months ago, Jay Deschain robbed Kris Jacobson at Canada Cup.
Tonight, Jay Deschain is the Champion – and Kris Jacobson is the Sole Survivor.
And a Dynasty is waiting in the wings.